Husband not included me in will

[Finallyfeelstrong]

I’ve just been given a copy of will my husband had done at Christmas.
We have been together for 7 years and married for 1year. He has grown up sons, grandchildren and a son who lives with us as his home life was chaotic. I also have two grown up children and a younger one living with us.
I work full time and husband has a business. When I met him it was only just keeping a float. Since then he has built it into a million pound business. I have worked, payed the mortgage and the cost of renovations on the house we bought that I lived in initially as I had all children at home and neither house was big enough. So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their. I also pay towards bills and groceries etc in the house we all live in.
I look after both his and my younger children and raise him as my own. My own child goes to his fathers every weekend and half of every holiday and his son sees his mum for a couple of hours once a week.
Anyway I was given a copy of the will my husband wrote after we were married as he had promised his exw that kids would be looked after. Which is what I also would expect.
The will states I’m to be guardian of his younger child, his mum hasn’t been informed, that the business, all the properties, 500k in life insurance will be given to children of his marriage and kept in trust, for his kids and their futures.
That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it etc even though he told me it could be and on death to be split between all our kids
It explicitly states that other than the house I pay for that is already covered in a different clause. Should-my name- benefit from any part of my estate other than the property named.

Definitely get legal advice. If you both own properties together, you retain your ownership rights, but check whether it’s in common/joint
Regarding those advocating divorce. They have only been married for a year, so actually OP would only be entitled to a 50% share of year’s worth of marital ‘proceeds’ I think. Even though they were together for years before, it’s only the length of the marriage that counts. Again, get good legal advice, OP.
OP, do you think he was trying to do the right thing and fouled it up, or do you think he was bring sly? Only you can answer that as you know him better than the posters on here.

@ColaFreezePop
OP those saying divorce him should actually be saying wait a few years preferably 15-20 then divorce him. He will then learn the hard way about English divorce law....

Those saying divorce him are thinking he could be hit by a bus tomorrow, and she's left with a load of responsibility in return for a house she's paid for but can't sell, so she's trapped in one location. Fighting that will would eat up everything the estate is worth.

I'm going with 'sly' rather than 'innocent'.

Whilst I can understand him wanting to make provision for his children and grand children these are not decisions he should be making unilaterally, without discussion with you, especially as there appears to be a jointly owned property and in the light of the not insignificant financial contribution have made throughout the marriage. If he should die tomorrow (let's face it, none of us know what's around the corner) his estate could be eaten up by legal costs should you choose to challenge the Will.

Do you have any life assurance/insurance in your name? If so who is/are the beneficiaries?

What about your pension? Death in service? Etc etc? Who are the beneficiaries (if applicable) in the event of your death?

Hang on a minute, she's only been married to him for a year! Why does that mean she is entitled to receive all his money over his children?
If someone posted on here about their dad dying and leaving everything to his new wife and not his children, we'd be up in arms! OP you are an adult woman with adult children. What did you bring to the marriage? Did you have her own property? Savings? Life insurance?
Those of you who suggest divorcing him now obviously believe the op has only married him for his money.

@Rowyourjollyroger that's why I said wait 15-20 years. Though they could update the divorce law to be more like Scotland by then.

You need your own solicitor. It sounds like he's claiming your assets as his. I'd be very cross about that.

My DH wanted to do something that I didn't agree with in his will, so I simply told him that whatever he puts in his, I put in mine. It wasn't mentioned again.

Does he have life insurance to benefit you/help you look after the youngest kids?

DH can't leave you a house, or anything else for that matter, that doesn't belong to him.

He can't leave you a child who's got a living mother either. I doubt his ex knows he's tried to remove their DC from her care, for a start.

Given who it benefits, I suspect DH's adult DC have written this will and DH has signed it. Alarm bells.

If you're not already, make sure you are registered on the deeds of your joint properties by next week. See a solicitor. Don't tell DH.

You must - really must, or you might well find yourself penniless and homeless in old age - take steps to ringfence your own assets. Then ask him what his plans are for a new will, given that a divorce would be expensive.

The awful thing is that without your name on the right docs, some women - and men - really are left without a pot to pee in for their old age. It's perfectly legal to leave everything to your favourite child/ren and cut out your wife and dependent children. Yes, it really is.

Theoretically the abandoned relations can go to court to get some financial assistance, but court fees cost more than the ££ they'll get.

*sorry - throughout relationship, not just marriage!

Right firstly you need to seek legal advise, take the copy of his will to a solicitor to look through and ask if its legally binding for all his assets to miss you and go to his children.

If it is then I would seriously consider divorce then at least your get a seizable share of your joint assets.

One question, is the house in his sole name? either way it doesn’t sound like your needs are being thought about at all.

@Soontobe60 Have you read the whole thread? The situation isn't that cut and dried. They've been together seven years, married for one, and the financial situation seems to be complicated. I don't understand the fudging of the 'paying the mortgage by paying rent' bit, but even if I had to walk away with nothing I wouldn't stay married to someone who made me responsible for their child without even bothering to discuss it.

Honestly, I think the OP needs to leave and take charge of her own life, she has no security in the current situation.

@Finallyfeelingstrong
Are you in the UK? Asking because of the timing of your post (and legal stuff may differ if you are not in England.)

I can't quite understand who owns what. Were you renting (£650?) the house you lived in across the road, or did you own it?

In any case, it is quite common for 2nd wives to be excluded from the full estate (when they have brought their own assets to the marriage in the form of a house , even if it was sold), in order to give the children a full inheritance. You will find this happens a lot . If someone is widowed or divorced and remarries in later life, they often leave their assets to their children, not the spouse who they marry late in life BUT they make sure they do benefit too.

My mum has a friend who was in this position. It's slightly different to you, but the upshot was that she was allowed to live in 'his' house until she died but then the assets would go to his children (not her children from a former marriage.) She had to move into a care home so she was in receipt of his pension and savings but the house went to his children. She had savings from the sale of her first marital home.

You need to talk to him and see a solicitor. But as you have only been married for a year and brought assets of your own (and still have them?) you should at least get back your share .

For a multi million pound business owner why are you paying rent and morgage?

This is the third time I’ve read a similar story on MN about a wife being excluded from a will. Your situation with various children from previous relationships is complicated so there is a chance that ‘d’H isn’t thinking this one through very well especially given that he is proposing to make you a guardian! You must feel very hurt. Is there a slim chance he is doing the wrong thing but for the right reasons and hasn’t considered this from your point of view?

One thing I did learn from a previous thread - joint tenancy can be severed by one party married or not. So you can be forced in to tenants in common so still owning half a property but not with full control.
Maybe check if you ARE joint tenants on a property that he isn’t proposing to sever and go to tenants in common to ring fence each and every one of his assets for his children.

Nemo dat quod non habet (you can’t give something away that isn’t yours). This house, is it (1) in his name only, (2) held as beneficial joint tenants or (3) held as tenants in common and is there any declaration as to the proportions in which you own it?

@lozster makes a good point about severing joint tenancy.

He essentially sees you as free childcare and not ‘real’ family.

Anyway I was given a copy of the will my husband wrote after we were married as he had promised his exw that kids would be looked after.

Did your husband write it, or did a Solicitor?

I'm assuming OP is in the UK because of the references to ££££'s?

If you're not already, make sure you are registered on the deeds of your joint properties by next week. See a solicitor. Don't tell DH.

She can’t add herself without his consent, if he is the current sole owner.

This situation if fairly common with second marriages. My father is actually doing the same thing. If you have your own income and a house to live in until the end (and a life interest usually provides for you to be able to sell and downsize), then he probably thinks you are taken care of.

You could challenge it under the 1975 Inheritance Act, if you could prove you were financially dependent.

Any funds required for his minor children could be withdrawn from the trust from time to time, with the trustees’ permission.

I work in Wills, and see this all the time.

Another thing...I know from what happened to a friend that if someone is left the tenancy of a house for life it can be challenged legally if that someone doesn't want to be tied to living in one place, and the ultimate inheritor has to recompense the tenant-for-life if they want to move (sorry to make it sound so convoluted).

Is there a slim chance he is doing the wrong thing but for the right reasons and hasn’t considered this from your point of view?

I was thinking this too, perhaps he wanted to make sure that his children will inherit when he dies and not everything go to you, but in the process he has managed to cut you out completely. You will need to speak to him obviously about this whole thing to find out what he was trying to do. The fair thing, I think everyone will agree, is that everyone benefits, his children and you should all get a share of the inheritance (which does not include what you already own!).

She can’t add herself without his consent, if he is the current sole owner.

I understood that to mean that she needed to check out exactly where she stood, not that she just added herself to everything.

@Finallyfeelstrong See my previous post (sorry- mistyped your username.)

Who has helped him write this will?

Was it a solicitor (or someone running a will franchise?)

The reason being....if a solicitor drew up the will, it will be legal. A solicitor can't include anything that is illegal and can be easily challenged.

Or has your DH simply written it himself?

I suspect you may have misread some parts. Wills are written in legal language.

For example, you cannot be the Guardian to his child if the child's mother is alive. This is not legal.

So I expect the will states that if neither parent is alive, you as a step mum would be guardian.

I am really confused over who owns what. There are two houses- one you say you renovated but also you say you paid rent for it. So which is it?

Do you own a house in your name? Who owns the family house?

Is there a big age gap going on here too? He has grandchildren and you have children still at home.

Sorry but your post is really confusing - can you explain a bit more?

joint tenancy can be severed by one party married or not. So you can be forced in to tenants in common so still owning half a property but not with full control.

No this is incorrect.

being 'tenants in common' is something very different. My parents had this and it's not what you seem to think it is.

I have to say, as someone who has worked hard since divorce to get back on her feet, I doubt I would ever marry again to ensure that my children’s inheritance is protected and ring-fenced for them. The number of posts you see here where dad dies and step mum takes all is utterly heart-breaking and when it comes to significant sums of money you really can’t trust anyone to do the right thing.

But there must be a middle-ground and I feel quite sure that the law can handle complex families, particularly when there are large sums of money to go around. You need to get legal advice but it might help if you clarify house ownership and for the child you have been made guardian of, what is her relationship with her mum? I am pretty sure the child isn’t something that can legally be ‘given’ to a step parent when an actual parent is still very much in the picture. Is mum well and capable of looking after her child? Dad can express a preference of carer, but am sure if push came to shove, mum would have some kind of say.