Husband not included me in will

[Finallyfeelstrong]

I’ve just been given a copy of will my husband had done at Christmas.
We have been together for 7 years and married for 1year. He has grown up sons, grandchildren and a son who lives with us as his home life was chaotic. I also have two grown up children and a younger one living with us.
I work full time and husband has a business. When I met him it was only just keeping a float. Since then he has built it into a million pound business. I have worked, payed the mortgage and the cost of renovations on the house we bought that I lived in initially as I had all children at home and neither house was big enough. So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their. I also pay towards bills and groceries etc in the house we all live in.
I look after both his and my younger children and raise him as my own. My own child goes to his fathers every weekend and half of every holiday and his son sees his mum for a couple of hours once a week.
Anyway I was given a copy of the will my husband wrote after we were married as he had promised his exw that kids would be looked after. Which is what I also would expect.
The will states I’m to be guardian of his younger child, his mum hasn’t been informed, that the business, all the properties, 500k in life insurance will be given to children of his marriage and kept in trust, for his kids and their futures.
That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it etc even though he told me it could be and on death to be split between all our kids
It explicitly states that other than the house I pay for that is already covered in a different clause. Should-my name- benefit from any part of my estate other than the property named.

@lozster I think you are confusing a lot of things. tenancy is not the same as jointly owing something. my parents changed their ownership to tenancy in common so that the sole surviving parent could not be forced to sell to fund a care home. The share of the parent who dies first goes to the surviving children in a form of trust (but they cannot access it or sell the house without the other parent's agreement.)

Fuck that! I’d divorce a man that thought so little of me.

Same here - and take him for every penny!

"Looking after the children" doesn't mean keeping them and their progeny in luxury even unto the fourth generation!

He's being really horrible to you.

I think you need to talk it through, the fact you have seen the will is good.

My aunties will was very similar. She met her last husband in her 50s by which point they had very different lifestyles and wealth. My aunt was wealthy her husband less so. They remained married until death in their late 80s so 30-40 years.

However my aunt's will left everything she has prior to marriage to her children / grandchildren and provided permission for her husband to live in her house and have access to her money at a rate of X per week.

She passed away he lived on for 5 years, when he passed the will was implemented. All assets following marriage were shared all prior were left to her children. Her husband's two children contested the will and lost.

So just to let you know wills such as you describe are legal and can be enforced.

OP, as others have said, is the property joined jointly and how? Do you have any joint accounts? If you're in the UK, look as how these are held (get copies of signed paperwork from the organisations if necessary). Many joint accounts pass to the survivor, regardless of what's in a Will, unless you've ticked a box to stop this.

As his wife you'd expect him to make provision for you, and unfortunately this he has done by providing you with a home to live in. If you were paying the mortgage previously, I guess you're not financially dependent on him, so coudn't claim extra for that reason. However, it would be worth showing to a solicitor and keeping, statements which confirm you were paying the mortgage, or at least contributing a sustantive amount into a joint account which would have been used partly to pay mortgage.

Another thing...I know from what happened to a friend that if someone is left the tenancy of a house for life it can be challenged legally if that someone doesn't want to be tied to living in one place, and the ultimate inheritor has to recompense the tenant-for-life if they want to move

I think Juells is right here- I don't think wills can make binding provisions that a court would deem unreasonable - so "I leave my wife £XXX to fund the journey around the Amazon she has always dreamed of." is probably okay. "I leave my wife £XXX on condition that she never has any contact with her mother again because I hate the evil old bat" is not.

Trapping someone in an area, leaving them no opportunity to changes jobs, or even just move from a house hey no longer want to live in, has got to be unreasonable.

As another poster has said, who wrote the Will? If a solicitor was involved it is likely that he can do what he intends to do. If not then he sounds deluded. Find out what legal advice he got and speak to a solicitor yourself.

Are you happily married? This sounds very strange. I think it would make me question what I was doing with this man.

**JinglingHellsBells

@lozster I think you are confusing a lot of things. tenancy is not the same as jointly owing something. my parents changed their ownership to tenancy in common so that the sole surviving parent could not be forced to sell to fund a care home. The share of the parent who dies first goes to the surviving children in a form of trust (but they cannot access it or sell the house without the other parent's agreement.)**

That’s my point. She would still own half the house as a tenant in common if the OP died but with a child owning the other half it would make moving or making decisions about the house complicated. So two issues; one, she wouldn’t own the whole house so financially worse off; two; she would not be in a position to make independent decisions about the property. In your parents example this was in their interest. In the OP’s example it would not be.

And yes, of course things can be challenged legally afterwards but why would anyone want to go there with the stress and complications and financial costs?

wow, you're free childcare and he'll use you to fund the ongoing renvoations of his house but after he dies, your child(ren) don't get a share when it's sold!?

He has been so oviously self-serving there that he has made it a no-brainer, you have to divorce him.

That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it

Does it specifically say that?

Several things here. How the house is owned is important. If you own it as joint tenants the house automatically becomes yours when he dies and anything in his will about the house is ineffective - it isn't his to leave. If you own it as joint tenants his will affects his share of the house (50% of it unless you have entered into a Deed of Trust). It is not unusual to leave a life interest in property to a partner or spouse with the property passing to the deceased's children when the spouse dies. However, it is very unusual to do this in a way that prevents them moving or downsizing. Normally, as long as the capital is ringfenced, you can do whatever you want.

If a solicitor was involved it is likely that he can do what he intends to do

Not true. A solicitor will advise the client if their wishes can be challenged. However, if the client insists this is what they want, the solicitor will write the will in those terms.

In this case the OP may be able to claim under the Inheritance Act on the basis that the will has not made reasonable provision for her. Without seeing the will and knowing exactly what his estate is worth no-one can say for sure whether she has a claim. But, in broad terms, she should inherit at least as much as she would get as a divorce settlement if they had divorced on the day he dies.

The strangest thing to me is that your husband made a will without involving you in the discussion. DH and I discussed what we wanted, went to a solicitor together, and signed what was drawn up for each of us to reflect our wishes.

If I discovered he had subsequently gone off and had a new will done, I would be very worried.

What have you said to him? What is his response when you have put your points to him? You have had a conversation about this?

I don't really understand the two houses issue.
Could you maybe explain that a bit more clearly and exactly what is supposed to happen to both of those houses if he dies?

Have I understood this correctly - he owns one house which you now live in with him.
There is another house across the street which you/he/both (?) bought because his first house was not big enough for everyone. You paid "rent"on this house across the street which covered the mortgage and renovations?
Is your name on the deeds? Or is it a house which he purchased and you paid rent while you were living there before you were married? Now that you are married you are living in the marital home and you are still paying "rent" on it so that two of your kids and one of his can live in it.

I think this arsehole knows exactly what he is doing. You live across the street and pay rent. You're not legally together (you're boyfriend and girlfriend) and you happen to live in your landlord's house.
When it becomes official - ie. you get married - he moves you out of the rental property and into his home (where you are not on the deeds and not paying rent on that home but paying rent on the other home across the street). Your kids live in the other property and you pay their rent.

I couldn't live with this hanging over me. You're going to be paying rent for years and if he dies you'll end up getting nothing back at all apart from the right to live in a house rent free until you die? You'll be left with nothing. Better to get out now and start your own life where at least you are paying towards a property which is yours.

What a mess and he is a cf. Solicitor on Monday. Take the will and the information about the rental property and see what they say.

Once again, I am dumbfounded at the awfulness of how someone who is supposed to love their partner can treat them.

Honestly, wtf is he playing at? He's treating you like dirt on his shoes. There is no way I could possibly stay with someone who thought so little of me and who would treat me like this. It's truly incomprehensible. So sorry OP.

You should get legal advice, but that advice may well be to do nothing. This is because you already have rights that could trump what your DH thinks he will get away with.

This seems unfair. What did he marry you for ? It sounds like he has no regard for you at all.
I would find it hard to love & live with someone who clearly doesn't give a toss about my welfare.
I would divorce him asap

It sounds fair that his kids get his assets, however if that is the case I would be using my own money now adding to my own children's inheritance - not building up his kids assets.

How has the will provided for assets built up after the marriage?

I'm leaving the majority of my estate to my ds and likewise my dp to his children, however we have also taken life insurance out on the other which we will get not the dc. We have also done the life tenant thing. It's not that unusual.

We have also done the life tenant thing. It's not that unusual.

It's not unusual if both parties are elderly and settled. The OP has children, plus he's foisting one of his on her. Would you be happy, in your forties or fifties, to be tied to a house for the rest of your life? Fuck that. Wills are agreed between partners.

I'm still very unsure though, from the OP, whether there's a bit of deliberate blurring of lines going on. Was the OP a tenant, paying rent, who subsequently became involved with her landlord? Or was she a partner who moved in to a house and paid for renovations. The use of the word 'rent' seems a bit of a problem. Rent doesn't mean 'I paid the mortgage'. Rent means the property belongs to someone else.

You need to see a solicitor. Did you photocopy the will you were given sight of? Who showed it to you?

oops sorry, I see you have a copy of the will.

Does he usually just go and make the decisions then come back and tell you about it? He should really have consulted you, op.

Are you sure you've understood it correctly? It's quite common for one spouse to leave their assets to their children but with a will trust to allow the surviving spouse to have a lifetime interest in the income and property.

CanILeavenowplease Is right. It is all too common for a man to remarry, agree with the new wife to make a 'mirror' will - which guarantees nothing and is later abused - or even worse make no will at all. Then he dies and all assests transfer to his new wife leaving his children with nothing and totally reliant on the goodwill of the Step Mother, who either gives them nothing or sees things completely differently in terms of what she's owed. Then all properties transfer to her family when she dies.

This happened in my family, its bitter I can tell you.

Sometimes the only way a partner with pre existing children feels they can do the right thing without upsetting their current husband/wife is to do the will on their own.

Being given lifetime tenancy is quite usual.

However, disscussions around guardianship and any assets you actually contributed to should have been had, and it has shown the proper level of respect to you in that regard.