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Original poster

To be utterly sick of the concerned head tilts...

152 replies

MuffinMachine · 28/06/2019 07:58

When I tell people that my 11 month old is neither walking or crawling. And yes they have asked.

They all do the tilt, tut, some have even said "oh dear" and then gone on to recount tales of babies they knew that practically tap danced out of the womb.

I wouldn't even be concerned if it wasn't for these reactions. 11 months is perhaps on the late side but surely it's well within normal, given crawling isn't even technically a milestone? What exactly are they trying to imply about my baby, that she has shit knees or something?

OP posts:
ofred · 28/06/2019 08:00

Haha tell them to fuck off!
Every baby develops differently.
DD never crawled and walked at 15 months!
Guess what? She's a perfectly healthy and happy 8 year old!

FrancisofAss · 28/06/2019 08:03

My ds didn’t crawl until he was about 12months. Walked at 15 months. I was so relieved because he was a lump to carry about by then!

As long as you and your health visitor are happy with her progress then just ignore them and their tilting.

Original poster
MuffinMachine · 28/06/2019 08:10

Yes I've mentioned it to the HV and she assured me it was fine. DD is pointing, clapping, following simple commands and all the rest.

Didn't stop SIL plonking her down on the floor last week, pulling her arms up so she had to go on her knees while yelling CAN YOU CRAWL then giving MIL a pointed look (that she thought I couldn't see) when poor DD inevitably toppled forward. Then suggested I get her in "proper shoes" rather than the little soft soled things I have her in

OP posts:
UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 28/06/2019 08:11

DD crawled at 13 months and walked at 18 months. DS never crawled and walked at 15 months. Yours is perfectly normal. Just nod, smile and ignore.

herculepoirot2 · 28/06/2019 08:15

People are just trying to be kind, I think, OP. It’s good that you have spoken to your HV - I would have been worried by this and would have done the same - but if they don’t know this, they might just be concerned?

Isatis · 28/06/2019 08:17

"Proper shoes" on a child who isn't walking yet? Your SIL is a total idiot.

MrsTeaspoon · 28/06/2019 08:20

Gosh 11 months isn’t late at all!!! Most of mine walked just after 12 months, no crawling, but one could stand and walk along furniture at 8 months but didn’t gain the confidence/balance to actually walk till 18 months. That one crawled. They are all unique and ignore anyone implying negativity.

dottiedodah · 28/06/2019 08:22

If HV has no concerns ,then thats all you need to say to MIL/SIL any old Nosy Parker !.All children develop at their own pace .Apparently I didnt speak until I was 3 !.Then no baby talk ,straight to normal language !.It never fails to amaze me, how many people feel the need to comment on things like this .With no background in child development ,except of course their little one was practically walking when they came out of the womb!!

El0die · 28/06/2019 08:22

Both mine were bottom shufflers and never crawled. Not once. They didn't walk until 15 and 16 months. DS1 is now a 6'2" strapping teenager who walked 72km last week for fun-chasing Pokemon. DS2 plays football, cricket and basketball . It is no indicator of their future physical or mental development.

Beldon · 28/06/2019 08:24

It’s just life I’m afraid, always annoying comparisons - and people always seem to want to try to diagnose some medical problem as to why they can’t do things. Just try ignore it and enjoy the stage your baby is at, she will be walking and causing chaos in no time Smile. Then be prepared for the next comparisons ‘oh, she isn’t counting, tying shoe laces, writing her name, swimming like a fish ...’ Grin

AngelsOnHigh · 28/06/2019 08:25

My DN was almost 17 months old when she walked and then she walked on her toes.

She was home schooled from the age of 13, started university at 15 and has just graduated with a Bachelors of Clinical Science. All at the age of 18.

She's also a stunning looking girl.

Piglet89 · 28/06/2019 08:26

I’ve yet to know a NT person who didn’t learn to walk.

AwdBovril · 28/06/2019 08:28

A couple of the children my DD is friends with apparently went straight from bum-shuffling to walking. It will happen when she's ready. Your SIL sounds a bit odd!

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 28/06/2019 08:29

Dd was a very late crawler and walker. Think she crawled at about 15 months and walked at 18 months.

Less than 7 years after those first steps she won her first triathlon! We only entered her for fun. We now have a mantelpiece full of trophies from a variety of sports.

We actually have a vague theory that her late crawling and walking is connected to to the fact that she is now very very fast. Years ago dh had a muscle biopsy and they discovered that his muscle make up is “normal but a bit unusual”. (A lot more fast twitch and super fast twitch than the average.) Dd has presumably inherited this. But is all this super fast twitch also the best muscles for learning to walk and crawl? I suspect not or evolution would have us all have lots of super fast twitch.

Haven’t a clue if my theory is even vaguely right but it makes me happy to think that all that time everyone else was walking and she wasn’t was because she was too busy preparing to beat the Brownlee brothers!

munchbunch12 · 28/06/2019 08:30

Don't worry OP, neither of mine crawled until 12 months, then DC1 didn't walk until 18 months and DC2 was about 16 months. As PP have said, children are all different and they'll get there in the end!

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 28/06/2019 08:30

You might find your DC does what mine did; i.e. never crawled but went straight to walking. This brings its own brand of high maintenance as we had to hold his hands every time he wanted to move somewhere for around 6 months, until one day he let go!

EmilyThornby · 28/06/2019 08:32

I didn't crawl but waited until I was about 18 months when I decided to walk for the first time. Family anecdotes recall it was in a pub and I headed straight for the bar. Confused Somehow I sense poetic licence and the mists of time but hey.

Every child is different, your hv has no concerns so ignore your dozy SIL.

InsertFunnyUsername · 28/06/2019 08:32

I feel your pain OP, my DD was similar still at 12 months wasn't crawling, but now at 15mo runs around the place.

Its difficult because you know kids do it in their own time, but the more people dickheads mention it, the more you over think it. Well i did anyway.

Honestly and this probably isn't the best idea but in the end i just had enough and said to them "Do you feel better about yourself judging a baby, because im getting bored of it" probably a bit dramatic, but i had enough of the "Ooh something is not right with your DD" lines.

Cosyjimjamsforautumn · 28/06/2019 08:33

Ignore them.
Our Dd never crawled (bottomshuffled a tiny bit) and just stood up one day at around 14 months and walked! She turned out just fine :)

TheVanguardSix · 28/06/2019 08:35

I’d class 11 months as an early walker. Confused
Who are these strange folk tilting their heads???
12-18 months: Totally normal time frame for kids to start walking, OP.
Some even skip crawling and go straight to walking.
Some crawl before sitting up.
My brother walked at 9 months- obscenely early.
I walked at close to 16 months- you could say obscenely late if you wanted to.
We were/are both very athletic, well-coordinated people.

Your SIL is full of envy. That’s clear as day.

People who tut and tilt their heads and project BS diagnoses onto other people’s children almost invariably have their own stuff going on... stuff they don’t want to face.
Has your SIL had a baby yet?

KittyWindbag · 28/06/2019 08:35

My son never crawled and he didn’t walk til about 18 months. You know what - it was a blessing. As soon as they walk that’s it. Game over. Don’t worry about the irritating head tilts. The longer babies walk, the longer you’re chasing about after them.

CherryPavlova · 28/06/2019 08:36

None of mine ever crawled. One just stood and walked reasonably confidently at eleven months. The other two bottom shuffled; the youngest was perfectly capable of walking but chose to sit and demand things were brought to her by a sibling. She sort of jumped around on her bottom until about 22 months. She’s very well co-ordinated (danced with Royal Ballet , very bright (42 points at IB), very confident(her father is terrified of her) and developmentally was well ahead of her peers except she refused to walk. She talked quite well before she walked.
They do it in their own time.

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/06/2019 08:36

DGS stood up and walked at his first birthday party. We say he waited for maximum drama and an audience.

LordNibbler · 28/06/2019 08:36

You know what, some children crawl and walk really early, and some very late, like my grandson. But he got there. Anyway my point is this, you can't tell by looking at any adult whether they were early or late at doing those things. So what does it really matter in the long run. They all get there in their own good time, because they are all individual little people.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 28/06/2019 08:36

Oh yes, I remember this - not just for walking, either. Funnily enough the comments/looks rarely came from people with babies the same age, because they had a pretty good grasp of what to expect. It was people whose DC were a few years older - they all seemed to have lost track of what their kids could actually do as babies.

I remember some of those kids - they were not the prodigies they are now described as.