To be utterly sick of the concerned head tilts...

[MuffinMachine]

When I tell people that my 11 month old is neither walking or crawling. And yes they have asked.

They all do the tilt, tut, some have even said "oh dear" and then gone on to recount tales of babies they knew that practically tap danced out of the womb.

I wouldn't even be concerned if it wasn't for these reactions. 11 months is perhaps on the late side but surely it's well within normal, given crawling isn't even technically a milestone? What exactly are they trying to imply about my baby, that she has shit knees or something?

People are shocked, empathise with you and don’t know what to say. If you want them to react in a specific way you should tell them.

What a ridiculous comment. You make it sound like the OP is telling them that her child was born without legs (and I actually don't think 'shocked' and head tilts would be appropriate in that situation either), not that her child is developing their gross motors skills a little bit slower than average but still within the normal range.

Ask your SIL how many children she sees crawling to school.

They are all basically the same by age 4. Doesn't matter how long it takes to get there.

And I'd pull her up on the looks to MIL.

Ignore, ignore, ignore! My first commando crawled at 9 months but then moved on to bum shuffling. He didn’t walk until almost 18 months. He’s 2.5 now and although maybe not the most agile or fastest runner he is brilliant in many other ways. People would say stupid things like is he ‘properly’ crawling yet and just this week I heard from some busy body mum at a play group that crawling is so important as if they don’t crawl they don’t strengthen their shoulder muscles and therefore have trouble with penmanship later on
My daughter is almost 13 months and she has only just got on the move within the last month. She was not able to crawl at her first birthday. Neither child has been disadvantaged by it and as far as I’m concerned enjoy the non moving stage as my daughter has slipped over whilst crawling this morning and now has a fat lip

Don't tell them unless they specifically ask !!!!!!
You are probably deep down a bit concerned but know it's a pointless worry so that might be why you mention it.

She will get there in her own time. Personally, I'd enjoy the fact that she will stay in one place a little longer - once they start moving it can be exhausting trying to keep up with them!

My first walked at 8 months, my second at 13 months. It was only when I questioned the HV that she told me the first was the oddity, not the second.

Ignore them OP. Everyone is different as a baby or an adult.

Here’s an interesting report on a study which you can show your family!

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/03/130328075702.

I have an 18m old who is pretty average with her milestones (apart from being an early teether) so I’ve heard it all recently, from potty training at 10months to “is she not walking yet?” Etc.

If a child isn't crawling at 11 months it's absolutely nothing to be worried about OP. My DD (now 11( skipped crawling altogether and walked somewhere between 18 months and 2.

I know what you mean about the head tilt thing though! And I disagree that it's people trying to be kind. It's generally an opportunity for them to gloat about all the milestones their DC have exceeded.

I know it's easy to say OP but try not to worry and just enjoy these lovely baby/toddler years

Totally get you! Mine never crawled, just bum-shuffled (hilarious) and didn't walk properly until about 19 months. But is now at the age of 12 a pretty valuable member of her school cricket and athletics teams. So don't worry and tell them all to sod off :-)

My DD was a late walker. If I remember correctly about 16 months. She’s fine! They say that they either talk or walk and my DD was a talker.

My elder daughter was nearly 2 before she walked. We called her "Mrs Shuffle-Bottom" because that's how she got around.
She is now grown-up, has a good job - and is always at the bloody gym! 11 months is nothing, plenty of time yet OP

Like I say, I didn’t walk until I was about 18 months or something.

I am 38 now and, I assure you, I have learned to walk.

Mine never crawled, and both walked well after 12 months. It's very common, and means nothing in itself. The thing is you let all this get to you when you have a baby and everyone seems to be comparing them and checking out your baby's milestones.

The truth is babies don't do all that much and people want something to focus on, and to make themselves feel better about their own babies/parenting. I remember sitting around in a baby group, all of us shattered and zombified, watching someone's 5-month-old crawl and someone else's 6-month-old roll over and everyone oohing and ahhing. And feeling like shit while my baby lay there basically farting and staring into space (as babies do).

Years down the line, I can see from a much wider perspective that there are vast differences between kids and also vast differences between one child's abilities in different areas. Thinking back to people making a big deal about crawling, it's just so insignificant and I wish I'd known that.

Just ignore, say "hmm whatever" or tell them she may not be able to crawl but you had a great chat with her yesterday about dark matter or something.

@LadyBumclock

And feeling like shit while my baby lay there basically farting and staring into space (as babies do).

LOLing over here! 🤣

Your SIL is absolutely batshit. I would be very direct in telling her not to yell at a baby or cause her to fall over. Who does that?!

My DS crawled the day before his 1st birthday and walked at 19months. There is no stopping him now. As your HV has said it's perfectly normal and she will be working on lots of other skills that children who are crawling already won't yet have.

I never crawled and couldn't walk until I was 16 months. That's when my little sis arrived. I guess that my parents had indulged me a bit and when they had to divide their time then I had to learn to walk if I wanted to get to stuff.

11 months? Meh. What's the rush? Your little one will do it when he or she is ready

Urgh I had this about crawling. And now she’s crawling I constantly get it about walking. People should keep their beaks out.

My top piece of advice would be not to go down the route of a woman I know who is bizzarely hung up on her DD's slightly slow but normal physical development (including her being quite small) but compensates for this by pretending her DD is talking ('ba ba da do' 'what's that, darling, you prefer the red car because it's bigger than the blue lorry?') and making a big show of how her DD is just all about the mind and too cerebral to move, unlike our great moving dolts

As an adult I still enjoy farting whilst lying there staring into space, it's very relaxing. These bum shufflers have got it right

None of mine walked that early, although they all crawled by about 9-13 months. Ds walked at 15 months and started running a week later. He was a very cautious child so we reckon he waited until he was well able. Dd was 18 months. She has hypermobility so that slowed down sitting, crawling and walking. Ds2 was also 15 months. They all do things at their own pace. I would say 11 months is very early to walk and at the slightly later end of normal for crawling.

One thing I would say though is that there are benefits to crawling in terms of development of co-ordination. There is also a suggestion (but no conclusive evidence) that there is a correlation between not crawling and dyslexia and adhd. Not crawling doesn't cause them, not crawling doesn't mean a child will have them, crawling doesn't mean a child won't have them, but a child with dyslexia or adhd is more likely to never crawl than a child without.

I'm not saying your child has any issues but it's helpful to be aware of this if you notice any signs as your child gets older. My dn wasn't diagnosed with dyslexia (she is very severely dyslexic) until she started university. My sister mentioned to teachers a few times that she thought that she might be dyslexic but was dismissed, mainly as dn is very bright so had developed many coping mechanisms that masked the dyslexia.

Interesting article here

My daughter did very little until about 16 months when she stood up with a beaker in one hand, a biscuit in the other and walked the full length of the room and sat down. I told DH later and typically it was a full week before he saw her walk so he thought I was joking. She is now 12 and remains a total perfectionist.

My DD never crawled; she was happy sitting watching the world go by. She bum shuffled, then moved on to a weird 'bear walk' on all fours for a while before just getting up and walking. The number of people I had telling me how concerning it was that she wasn't crawling, as it was crucial for development of the right parts of the brain...!

My DS on the other hand, crawled and walked much earlier. Funnily enough, now they are both late teens they seem to manage getting about.

My two didn't move from the floor where they sat and moaned until 11 months, they then started crawling and walked at 13 months. It's like this with so much competitive parenting OP, I can remember one woman very put out that my first born had teeth and hers didn't!!!! Must say though that I can remember feeling almost smug that she'd done at least one thing early!!

FGS, all children are different - one son didn't walk until 18 months - the other at 8 months. You don't see children crawling to school - they all get there, but I feel your frustration OP, why can't people keep their noses out!

I feel you! Of my 3, one didn’t crawl until 14 months (walked at 18 months), one didn’t crawl until 15 months and didn’t walk until 23 months (ok, yes, we were concerned about that....they are now a super athletic 11 year old!) and one crawled at 9 months at walked at 14 months. It made no difference to anything in the long run (except the annoyance of having to keep dc3 - our “early” mover - out of trouble!!)