To give up conditional uni place to TTC?

[thiddlinggubbins]

I've accepted a conditional offer at a local university. I'm happy in my current job but know the only way to progress is to do the degree. Whilst I'm happy now, I know I don't want to be stuck at this level for the rest of my life. However, we'd both really like to start TTC. We know during university there's no way we'd be able to try if I went this September as we wouldn't be able to afford childcare for a baby whilst I'm only getting a student loan. I'm 28 and DH is 35. Would IBU to withdraw from my conditional offer at uni to start TTC?

Just start uni and see how it goes. You can always take a year out later.

I wish I had gone to uni before having children. It was very hard doing it afterwards.

How long will it take you to fall pregnant?! That’s a question with an unknown answer so i think you are BU a little as the TTC+pregnancy=whoknows.

You can always take a year out later.

But that's my point, that's not an option as we can't afford full time childcare

You might not get pregnant immediately.

TTC can take months, even years. How would you feel if you turned down the place, and after the duration of the course, you weren't yet pregnant?

How long will it take you to fall pregnant?! That’s a question with an unknown answer so i think you are BU a little as the TTC+pregnancy=whoknows.

That is of course the other issue isn't it. None of us ever know. But then equally how crap would I feel if we delayed until after uni and it took years for us to conceive?

Agree with PP - go to uni. Have you thought how very difficult it would be to do your studies with a young child around your ankles? Fully aware that many women manage this, but it's really not easy. If you have a child now your career development might stall until DC and younger siblings start school.....assuming you can get the motivation and the offer of a place again then.

Is open university an option?

6 years down the line, one PCOS and one leukaemia diagnosis (DH) and 2 failed IVF attempts later and still no DCs. I am about to complete an MSc, though, which wouldn't have happened if I waited with my studies.

I thought students got almost all of their childcare costs funded? Worth double checking!

How long is the uni course too? Your husband is 35, what age will he be when you finish? Will he be happy to be approaching 40 with a newborn if you wait till after your course finishes?

UABU! Uni is hard enough especially when you have children, and who knows what may happen in the next few years you could end up being a single parent, or you may never get the opportunity to go to uni again due to childcare/money issues ect. My advice (mature student) is to do it now whilst you have no childcare commitments and TTC once you’ve finished uni and been in a stable job a couple of years.

I would either
A. Do an open university degree. Can get funding and it is recognised anywhere as a degree. Some employers actually prefer it as it shows you have considerable motivation to complete it. Fundingvis available and you can register as a student.
B. Take uni place and try the conceive after the first year.
If you fall pregnant you could potentially defer completion of your degree or switch to an open university degree
Most university degrees only require about 10-12 hours maximum supervised study a week (lectures and tutor groups) The rest is assignments and own work in library so that won’t mean full time childcare
Alternatively a lot of universities have very affordable crèches

Go to uni anyway! Lots of places have really good childcare support for students with DC. Also, as a veteran of 6 rounds of IVF, I can tell you it's not always straightforward, although of course I hope it is for you.

What course is it, and which university? Will it likely lead to improved earnings or is it more for interest?

I thought students got almost all of their childcare costs funded? Worth double checking!

No, they're income dependent and we're over the threshold for it to be of any use to us.

Exactly @SmellbowSmellbow123 He'll be approaching 40 by the time I finish. So even just assuming we managed to conceive as soon as I finished, he'd be 40 by the time a newborn arrives and no he wouldn't be particularly happy. He's very supportive of whatever choice I make re uni but I know from previous chats that in an ideal world he wouldn't choose to put it off that long (fertility issues are different of course).

Personally I would carry on with your place at uni. We postponed some plans to ttc and nearly 3 years on we still haven't concieved. Hopefully that won't be the case for you, but if it was you might kick yourself for not taking the place at uni when you had the chance. Would open University be an option for you? My sister did that and it worked quite well for her.

You are only 28. Do the course. When you are 31 you can think again about TTC. 31 is not old to conceive, either and 38 is fine for a dad and still gives you 2 years' leeway before he is 40.

If paying for childcare is going to be an issue you either need to go to uni now whilst you have no children, or wait until they either don’t need childcare or at least in primary school (but there will still be childcare costs for school holidays).

But I think from your replies you’ve already decided to not go to uni...

Plenty of people do manage university and babies. Unless you are planning on studying science or engineering, your contact hours will be quite low so it's possible with the help of a flexible childminder to use only 15 hours a week of paid childcare, you can study in the evening or on weekends when your dp can take over childcare or when baby is asleep. If you can aim for June to give birth (in an ideal world!) it's perfect as most courses finish in May and restart in late September. Other option is distance learning which many universities offer (not just open university) but it's not for everyone

Go to university. Just my advice but it's good advice; trust me.

Go to university. You need it to progress career wise and it will be much harder after having a child. Personally I think it's a no brainer.

Would uni not have cheaper childcare. I'd get first year over with then ttc so your pregnant for second year.

Go for it, it is a million times easier to go to uni with DC at nursery than once they are at Primary School albeit the ££.

If you do get pregnant you can take a year out and hop back on the course the next year, or just take a short while off or whatever suits and pop DC straight into nursery. It doesn't affect them in the slightest if you're worried about bonding issues etc.
You can get money towards childcare at Uni so look into that.

Isn’t one of the purposes of university to increase your earning power? If you don’t do it now you could potentially be stuck for years with limited opportunity for career progression. Which would obviously have an impact on any children you have.