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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give up conditional uni place to TTC?

80 replies

thiddlinggubbins · 26/06/2019 09:16

I've accepted a conditional offer at a local university. I'm happy in my current job but know the only way to progress is to do the degree. Whilst I'm happy now, I know I don't want to be stuck at this level for the rest of my life. However, we'd both really like to start TTC. We know during university there's no way we'd be able to try if I went this September as we wouldn't be able to afford childcare for a baby whilst I'm only getting a student loan. I'm 28 and DH is 35. Would IBU to withdraw from my conditional offer at uni to start TTC?

OP posts:
Bibijayne · 26/06/2019 14:48

I'd do the uni. 28 is still young and you can TTC when in a new (hopefully better) job role in a few years.

HiJuice · 26/06/2019 15:13

If you aren't working when you get pregnant you wouldn't get any maternity money - so that is another thing to consider. Depending on your existing job and how much it pays in maternity benefits, you could end up thousands worse off over, say, six months.
Ideally you would do the course, get a job, work long enough to be entitled to a decent amount of maternity benefit, and then TTC. Which is probably at least 4 years from now.
If money is not so much of an issue, but completing the course is high on the list, then I would do the course and start trying at the beginning of the 3rd year. If you got pregnant immediately you could still finish the course (barring severe morning sickness!) but of course would get no maternity pay.
Another option would be accept place on course and TTC now. In the happy event that you get pregnant before you hand in your notice you can just stay in your job and get the money, if not just start uni and continue TTC, and take time out as and when you need to. If your husband is employed he could take shared parental leave and you can go back to uni - that way he can get paid something - which may work if his company has a decent package but obviously wouldn't if they only pay the minimum.
If children and money are the top priority then staying in your job and TTC now would be the way to go - but it may be years before you'd get round to going back to uni.
Personally I think doing the course and having children are both really important and I'd be willing to put up with a few lean years to achieve both of these. But it really depends on how much leeway you have to cut costs - you could perhaps get rid of the car loan and get a cheaper car/make savings elsewhere - also depends on your DP's feelings about it.

AnthonyCrowley · 26/06/2019 15:29

Go to uni now. Start TTC in your last year.

If you put off uni due to child care costs you're putting it off for a good few years,.....would be looking at when the child started reception or would the vouchers for 2yo be enough to make it affordable? Because even with the vouchers I still think there's quite a cost.

YouWhoNeverArrived · 26/06/2019 15:30

At 28, I really would prioritise going to uni, particularly if you're going to qualify in a field like nursing or midwifery where you're almost guaranteed a job and may be able to work part-time. Your fertility is unlikely to be significantly worse at 31 than 28. My advice would be different if you were already in your 30s.

AquaPris · 26/06/2019 17:12

What course is it? I only had 6 hours weekly contact in second year and only 2-4 a week in third.

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