Can't control jealous at DP for going to Disney world without me and kids

[stripetights]

My DP went to see his brother in America for his birthday which I had no problems with. He's also gone to a whole bunch of theme parks/ Disney places I didn't realise he'd be doing. We have two DC's under 5 and I've just found out I'm pregnant with dc 3. He's sending me a constant stream of pictures of him, his brother and his brothers partner all having fun in the sun and going to all these parks and I feel rude saying can you just f*cking stop showing off whilst im stuck working and looking after all the kids? Angry we didn't get an invite, angry at all the showing off. Don't even know where he's got the money for all this from. Calm me down PLEASE

I am not sure why people are so surprised some of us don't like the idea of Disneyland, it's nothing to do with jealousy, we travel all the time and have seen a lot, but I hate rides, they make me seasick, and Disney characters were never my favourites, nor are they my kids' favourites, but we'd love to see Hobbiton in NZ, for example, each to their own!

Can't see the problem.... he got the golden ticket this time, maybe you will in the future.
Would you rather he had not gone and had this experience, just because you couldn't go too?

You can be an individual even as part of a couple.

Is the older children’s father?
Do ye live together?

You do t seem to know him that well

A couple of weeks?!? He's left you to have a very expensive holiday, using up his personal time and family holiday funds while you look after 2 under 5s whilst pregnant with number 3?

Yeah but the OP was fine with this. It’s only his activities there that have got her upset.

If I were you when he's back I'd go with the kids and fuck him off
See ya later pal

Except the OP has said they don't have much money and she's pregnant...

It’s not about rides or characters - I’m not a massive fan of either. It’s the attention to detail and how safe you feel (4 life guards per pool, an individual attendant on each water slide, staff trained to talk to children, amazing and immersive environments) I’ve only ever stayed at 5* hotels there though. It’s like the wider world, but better. I’d give it a try before you dismiss it. We now go every year until the boys are old enough to appreciate the likes of Japan and China. We are not a pool in the Med type of family.

I can see why the H went alone to see his brother if money is tight - is it the brother's birthday or the H's, though?

"But really, what kind of father goes to Disneyland by himself and sends pictures to his family, which includes young kids?! especially when he knows he is effectively using up the family allowance for holidays on himself? "

This! ^

Is he normally such a selfish, thoughtless prick?!

He didn't go to Disneyland by himself.

He didn't send pictures to his young kids.

It's all there in the opening post, what actually did happen.

Are they his children and if so how old are they?

The little ones in this heat would hate DL, and at this age it would be a forgettable memory, I took my own child 3 time before he was 5 he can’t even remember being there.

Being pregnant you also would not be able to attend.

Fairgrounds are not just for children, many adults enjoy them, most people who live in the area have annual passes.

You can’t except him to visit his family in American and not enjoy himself.

Personally YABMU

Hang on.....

Is the DP American? And living away from home?
Or has his brother moved away, and your DP has gone to visit?

When is the last time he saw his brother?

I think everyone is missing the point. If the DP has gone home, it's not a holiday- it's going home!!

And if he hardly sees his brother, then of course they should do some fun things while they are together!!!

I live in a different country to all my brothers and sisters, and when I DO see them, I push the boat out, because I want to make memories with my family.

And jesus, it bugs the hell out of me when people infer that I'm going on a fancy once in a lifetime holiday, when actually I'm going home!!!!!

( when people find out where I'm from, they invariably ask why I'm here!!)

Op I agree with you. He’s being selfish and self centred. Maybe his brother paid for him to go but to then send you pictures is just unfair, especially if you’re working, pregnant and doing the child care.

It’s unfair if your struggling for money too and you’re not going away.

Disney (especially Orlando) is amazing, that’s why people pay 10k to go.

In your opinion. Personally I didn’t enjoy it much and neither did my kids. They were pretty underwhelmed after a few days and asked that we didn’t do any more parks. They’ve never mentioned wanting to go again. Their favourite holidays were New York and Amsterdam.

This really shouldn't be about who likes Disney and who doesn't, anyone with half a brain should be able to understand we all like different things in a holiday. The point is the OP does.

He’s visiting his brother, and I assume doing something in the area. If you agreed to the trip, I don’t see how you can get too upset.

Is he your DP rather than DH? In which case, is it that his money is his to do what he likes with? (legally if not morally that’s probably the case).

I think it's very likely that the park visits were planned by the family over there. The problem will be if the OP's DH has spent money they can't afford on an element of the trip that the OP didn't know about or agree to spend their family budget on.

Having ended up at the parks, in his position I'd be a bit sparing with the reports and photos, given how much his family would want to be there and can't be.

I think him going to Disney is not the point. It is clearly unreasonable for one adult to use all the the spare money on his holiday and leisure activities leaving none left for his dc and partner.

Very weird for him to go on a big holiday to kids places with his dc.

He sounds like a dick tbh.

@Justathibkslice

I think the brother has moved out there. If her DP was going home OP would have said he is going to see his family (parents etc).

And you’re missing the point which is that there is no money for OP to have a family holiday yet DP has spent over £1000 at least on a holiday for himself. Utterly selfish.

I’d be annoyed he was spending money on a holiday when you are due a third baby and sound skint. Shows you were his priorities lie.

Honestly I'm assuming you love you dp and want him to be having a good time. So I wouldn't be either jealous or angry you agreed to him visiting his family. The trips were probably a spur of the moment thing.

The issue is the money, hopefully his brother treated him or they got discounts etc. If he's spent all the family money on a trip then yes I'd be angry about that.
Otherwise be happy he's happy.

So your DP has gone to stay with his brother, who lives in America, and they are doing fun things together.

YABU

Ignoring the Disney part but I can't believe you and dcs weren't invited?

Do you not get on with them?

We are not a pool in the Med type of family.

This is adorable - yes Disney is much classier than the Med.

But I think we need more information...

Why did DP go visit? Is it home? Does he get to see his brother often?

I never went home on my own when my kids were little, but I wish I had. Years go by between visits. If I had gone home, and had some fun day trips, then it would be hideous if my partner was jealous.

Seriously- more info OP 😊

If I were you when he's back I'd go with the kids and fuck him off

He'd probably love a couple of weeks at home without his kids. Or did you mean LingTB?