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Original poster

Can't control jealous at DP for going to Disney world without me and kids

125 replies

stripetights · 25/06/2019 15:16

My DP went to see his brother in America for his birthday which I had no problems with. He's also gone to a whole bunch of theme parks/ Disney places I didn't realise he'd be doing. We have two DC's under 5 and I've just found out I'm pregnant with dc 3. He's sending me a constant stream of pictures of him, his brother and his brothers partner all having fun in the sun and going to all these parks and I feel rude saying can you just f*cking stop showing off whilst im stuck working and looking after all the kids? Angry we didn't get an invite, angry at all the showing off. Don't even know where he's got the money for all this from. Calm me down PLEASE

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 25/06/2019 16:22

I'd feel relieved that I didn't have to endure it.

Morgan12 · 25/06/2019 16:23

But why weren't you invited?

Wereeaglesdare · 25/06/2019 16:24

He's a selfish twat he put his own needs before his kids. So your poor kids can't have a summer holiday cos he wants to act like a kid himself..
I would say "please can you stop sending me pictures of your great time on holiday it just reminds me that our poor babies won't be able to go away this year, which is just upsetting seen as there will be big changes already. Anyway talk about this when u get back have a great time.
N just ignore him for a bit go n have fun with the kids well as much as u can being pregnant, take them for tea or go cinema something you fancy n have a lovely treat. Sorry your big man child did this. I would Not be sharing account with him at all. Save up for a few things without him n get your own back xx

mrsm43s · 25/06/2019 16:24

He was only meant to be going to stop with his brother for a couple of weeks which I thought was enough as that in itself is expensive. I didn't know about all the Disney parks

So he was allowed to go to his brother's in America, but must stay in for the whole fortnight? What about if gone on trips other than Disney? Would that be OK? Or was he only allowed to go as long as he didn't have any fun?

Is he spending more family money than you agreed? Or is he spending his own money/being shouted by his brother etc?

I find the idea of resenting your partner for enjoying the holiday that you'd agreed that he should go on quite odd tbh. I'm genuinely delighted when my DH gets to have fantastic experiences, because I love him, and want him to be happy.

TacoLover · 25/06/2019 16:29

Surely with your DC being so young and you being pregnant it would've been quite shit for the rest of you at Disney? And tbh adding kids to an adult trip changes things quite a bit. Was the trip just a siblings trip? If it was it makes sense to just have the brother and all his siblings...

missperegrinespeculiar · 25/06/2019 16:29

But really, what kind of father goes to Disneyland by himself and sends pictures to his family, which includes young kids?! especially when he knows he is effectively using up the family allowance for holidays on himself?

sorry, but I couldn't do that, when I travel without my kids (and it is for work, mind you!) I make sure I do not do things they would love, manly because I'd feel bad they were not there but also because I would worry they'd be upset, there's plenty of adult entertainment FGS!

saraclara · 25/06/2019 16:30

One of the saddest moments for my when my girls were small was when my four year old looked up at a plane in the sky and wistfully said " I wonder if that plane is going to Disneyland?"

I was the poor parent among my social group of (lovely) well off mums. A few weeks the latest of them had come back from a Disney trip with their kids, full of the whole thing. I was so sad for my kids. I wasn't a Disney fan at all, but their eyes filled with wonder at the UK theme park we'd saved and saved to take them to. I'd have loved them to experience that magic at Disney, but it was never going to happen.

So yep, if my husband had gone and sent all those photos, I'd be gutted. I'd not want to know.

INeedAFlerken · 25/06/2019 16:31

A couple of weeks?!? He's left you to have a very expensive holiday, using up his personal time and family holiday funds while you look after 2 under 5s whilst pregnant with number 3?

Selfish wanker. I'd be furious t just that ... Disney and them park bragging on top of that would tip my relationship into the dead zone.

Drum2018 · 25/06/2019 16:31

I don't think you can be pissed off that he's enjoying himself now that he's there. He was hardly going to sit in BiLs house for a fortnight. But I'd be majorly pissed of if Dh went off on a two week holiday and we were left at home without any money for a break.

thegreenlight · 25/06/2019 16:32

I always love the crazy people on mumsnet who hate the idea of Disney and instead insist on dragging their poor kids to places with ‘bijou local fish restaurants where they sell the local catch’ or exciting trips to olive oil producers. Disney (especially Orlando) is amazing, that’s why people pay 10k to go. It’s better than sitting by a pool for 2 weeks. Every time Disney is mentioned, the fun sponges are out in force. I’d be having words about how he’s going to pay to take you all OP.

DinosaursWouldEatYou · 25/06/2019 16:33

Were you not invited because your pregnant? Do you know if DPs brother has paid for him to go Disney or is it DPs own money?

Honestly spend time with your children, send pictures of you having fun with them and enjoy being pregnant. He could be missing you and the kids dreadfully you don't want to spoil both your times apart by sending an upset text.

EKGEMS · 25/06/2019 16:35

It's very insensitive and selfish to leave a wife and small children for two freaking weeks when you have zero other vacay time as a family throw in a Disney park visit and I would be raging. A full week would have sufficed in my opinion. Some previous posters are full of shit posting asinine anti Disney comments and "What'd you expect him to do for two weeks?" I expect him to live life as a responsible father and husband

BlueJava · 25/06/2019 16:35

Reply to him saying "Looks great, I've shown the DCs and they want to know when we are going"

YANBU I don't think you should calm down, he sounds a knob going to Disney without his own DCs and you.

RelaisBlu · 25/06/2019 16:36

He's there so let him enjoy it - then when he returns say you're really glad he now knows all about the Disney theme parks so that he'll know exactly where to take the family when you all go together in a few years' time

pictish · 25/06/2019 16:36

Well perhaps as their guest he went with their plans, which obviously involve visiting theme parks. So there we have it. Anyone who would expect him throw himself to the floor in refusal because his wife couldn’t come too, is mad.

fotheringhay · 25/06/2019 16:36

Does he have any idea or care about how you're feeling about this?

BarrenFieldofFucks · 25/06/2019 16:40

I don't think you can be pissed off that he's enjoying himself now that he's there. He was hardly going to sit in BiLs house for a fortnight. But I'd be majorly pissed of if Dh went off on a two week holiday and we were left at home without any money for a break.

This.

FlyingElbows · 25/06/2019 16:43

Disney is ok but it is completely ruined because it's rammed full of crying, over-heated children who don't give a shit about the "magic". Op, your dp's an eejit but honestly, you're not missing much. Save up and go when they're old enough to appreciate it.

Suvin · 25/06/2019 16:43

I always love the crazy people on mumsnet who hate the idea of Disney and instead insist on dragging their poor kids to places with ‘bijou local fish restaurants where they sell the local catch’ or exciting trips to olive oil producers. Disney (especially Orlando) is amazing, that’s why people pay 10k to go. It’s better than sitting by a pool for 2 weeks.

Does it occur to you that (a) adults are the ones who need holidays, not young children, so is is within the realms of possibility that adults choose somewhere they would like to go on holiday, and the children muck in, and (b) options are available other than 'sitting by a pool' or Disney?

OP, if his holiday has meant that you and the children can't have one, I think that's very selfish of him, regardless of whether he went to theme parks or not. DH and I both take it in turns to go away by ourselves from time to time, but never using up time or funds that means we can't also go away as a family.

Eliza9919 · 25/06/2019 16:43

I'd tell him to stop spending all this money as he's going to need it to fund his new home. What a selfish bastard. Who the fuck goes to Disneyland without their kids???

Settlersofcatan · 25/06/2019 16:43

I can understand not wanting to be left for 2 weeks with 2 under 5 and not wanting the year's holiday budget to be all used up by one person.

But I don't really understand why you were happy for him to go but apparently just didn't want him to enjoy it too much.

WorraLiberty · 25/06/2019 16:44

You say you weren't invited and then you go on to say you don't have much money.

Could that be why you weren't invited?

Also, he's not 'showing off'. He's sending you photos of him enjoying the trip you said you had no problem with him going on.

Having said that, despite not having much money, if you could afford to go as a family then I understand why you might be a bit miffed at not being invited.

pictish · 25/06/2019 16:45

Someone who’s a guest in another family’s house who decided to go?

WorraLiberty · 25/06/2019 16:47

Who the fuck goes to Disneyland without their kids???

It's a fairground, so lots of adults who like fairground rides I would imagine Confused

Bookworm4 · 25/06/2019 16:48

Why is he away on a US trip for a few weeks and left you and DC? Sounds very odd and selfish.

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