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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think google maps IS right and dp has cheated on me

128 replies

seche0911 · 24/06/2019 17:46

Hi all, so a bit of a backstory here, dp and I have been together for 2 years and were very happy until last months incident which has left our relationship on its last legs.

Dp and I have been dealing with a lot of stress recently (a family member of mine was murdered early this year and it left me in depression and not the nicest person to be around, including recent financial struggle). Dp has been very supportive but recently it became more of a “when are you going to stop moping around” and I could tell he was getting fed up and feeling like I should pull myself together (if only it were that easy Hmm )

We had a big argument 3 weeks ago and I decided he should stay at a friends as it is not the right environment for the dc. Later that night, before bed I attempted to phone him to apologise for being so hard to be around lately and to say goodnight, he didn’t answer the phone or call back which he has never done before, I messaged him and it went unread until the next day. I put this down to him needing some time out and he answered my call the next morning. I asked him where he had stayed and he told me with his cousin and would be back to talk to me that evening.

Dp returned later that afternoon and seemed extremely shifty but I couldn’t put my finger on why. Before bed he switched his phone off and left it downstairs in his work bag which he has never done before. I know it is very wrong of me to not trust what he says and I’m embarrassed to say I snooped on his laptop when he went to work. Google maps shows him spending the night at his ex girlfriends house! I confronted him and he went as far as to say I had hacked his google and parked outside her house overnight to frame him Shock. Of course this has now left me thinking, if you are going to the extreme of accusing me of framing you then you are definitely hiding something!

Dp then changed the story to, well google maps is obviously wrong, I wasn’t there. Google maps has been 110% accurate for the last 2 years he has had it, it has not shown him at a place he hasn’t actually been at ever, so is this just some crazy coincidence that google maps messes up for the first time ever and places him at his ex’s house the night of our argument or is my dp not only a liar but a cheat too Sad

I want to believe him and cannot leave him until I know what he has done, he will not admit it, I cannot stand him near me at the moment, our love life has been none existent for the last 3 weeks. Can anyone offer any advice? Is it accurate?
I also asked if he could show me an itemised bill as of course he would have probably text/called her first before showing up and he refuses.

OP posts:
Snappedandfarted2019 · 24/06/2019 17:49

It sounds like hes been at his ex girlfriend house OP,sorry

hsegfiugseskufh · 24/06/2019 17:50

You do know what hes done. Leave him.

Wagonwheelsandjammydodgers · 24/06/2019 17:51

I think you know the truth here....if Google maps had shown him at a totally random place then perhaps it was on the blink but at his ex's house?! He's got some explaining to do. Do you need to stick around to hear it though?

MancaroniCheese · 24/06/2019 17:53

OP I have to say it does not sound good.

You say "I want to believe him and cannot leave him until I know what he has done" - you can leave him - don't need a reason to end it - not trusting him is a reason in its own right.

dessertmissthecream · 24/06/2019 17:55

I was going to say don't jump to conlusion's until I saw the bit about the ex.

He has slept with his ex, OP. Might be a one off, might be continuing. I understand it's not something you want to believe but it has happened.

I am so so sorry. Have some self respect and leave him, you deserve so much better. Pig.

HavelockVetinari · 24/06/2019 17:57

You absolutely do know the truth here - now it's up to you to decide what you do about it.

AtrociousCircumstance · 24/06/2019 17:57

You already have rock solid, concrete proof. Plus he came out with bullshit, lashing out, spouting crap.

You know exactly what happened, you ha e all the facts. What a wanker.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 24/06/2019 17:58

Christ almighty

He was at his girlfriends.

Gmaps can tell which room in the house my phone is in most of the time...

Zbag · 24/06/2019 17:58

Of course google maps isn't wrong.
He definitely spent the night there. It doesn't mean he's cheated by the cynic in me thinks he has.
Ask his ex.

Imustbemad00 · 24/06/2019 17:59

Sorry, but you’re never going to get better proof than that. Aside from s confession which is unlikely. Most people with suspicions would be grateful for such concrete proof. I’m sorry for what you’re going through, but you need to decide if you can forgive cheating...

TidyDancer · 24/06/2019 17:59

Yeah I'm sorry to say it seems obvious what he's done.

Although tbh if you've always been tracking him it sounds like the trust is non-existent anyway so even if you could get past this it doesn't seem like there's much to salvage.

Sorry OP. 🙁

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 24/06/2019 17:59

Hi OP

Sorry to say I agree with the PP

What are the chances of it malfunctioning just this once and also being that address out of millions of others.

Plus his other behaviour. You know in your gut if hes lying

Tell him you asked her and she confirmed it?

codemonkey · 24/06/2019 18:00

I think on the details you have it's likely he visited his ex. Whether or not that's sinister I couldn't say.

StereophonicallyChallenged · 24/06/2019 18:00

Unless his cousin lives at 22 Town Street and the Ex lives 46 Town Street, then no way is Google maps wrong.

So mine says I've been at No2 a lot when really I'm at No.22, or that I've been into Pets at Home when actually I was across the car park in Costa coffee, so it's not pinpoint accurate, but it's very very close.

I dont think you need us to tell you that though OP sadly. He had a row with you and spent the night with ex is exactly what it sounds like Sad

PeevedNiamh · 24/06/2019 18:01

His reaction is enough to convince me he's guilty. Suggesting you are setting him up is ridiculous and entirely unbelievable. Sorry OP.

Lumene · 24/06/2019 18:01

His phone was at his ex girlfriend’s house for sure.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/06/2019 18:01

He slept with his ex

You don't need him to admit it Thanks

dessertmissthecream · 24/06/2019 18:02

Also it's an ex and not a random shag he picked up in a pub. Both are unforgivable but he clearly wanted her that night. Don't allow yourself to sit back and take that.

FizzyGreenWater · 24/06/2019 18:03

I want to believe him and cannot leave him until I know what he has done

You do know.

But because you want to believe him, you're going to make a weird little loophole, as above, that will allow you to stay.

Don't.

Lol at google maps not only being wrong for the first time ever but randomly choosing his ex's house!!!!

Time to be brave OP.

theWarOnPeace · 24/06/2019 18:04

That is proof. That, to me, is proof.

dessertmissthecream · 24/06/2019 18:07

@FizzyGreenWater At this point he might as well say his phone grew legs and decided to go round and shag his ex's phone. Sounds like something this man would come up with.

TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan · 24/06/2019 18:07

Google maps can be inaccurate but it's obvious. So for example when I go walking in my local nature park or pings to random streets nearby in an odd way because the inside of the park won't have been mapped by the Google car. This isn't that. He was at his ex girlfriend's

PeachPotato · 24/06/2019 18:07

A true partner would not think you were moping for still being sad mere months after a relative has been murdered. Plus yes he has definitely lied if not cheated.

Ohbehave1 · 24/06/2019 18:10

I am still really close friends with my ex. In fact they are invited to my wedding. My partner trusts me 110% and I would never do anything to break that trust. I certainly would never sleep with them again.

It's really up to you, OP, to know what your partner is like. And if they are the sort to stray or not. I don't know why people on here are so quick to jump to accuse and sat LTB

ThatCurlyGirl · 24/06/2019 18:11

OP you know what the truth is so that isn't the real conundrum here.

The real question is are you willing to turn a blind eye (I know I couldn't) and pretend he didn't when you both know he did.

I would bet this will be an itch you can't resist scratching if you stay together - you'll keep asking for the truth and he'll lie until he's blue in the face.

Sorry OP, this doesn't sound like a healthy situation at all.

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