School run mum. Dreading it

[Deadposhtory]

I'm sat in my car about half a mile from D's school.
He has a friend I'll call him Sam. Sam has been his friend since reception and every afternoon we walk we Sam's parents the half mile to our cars although we park in different car parks.
I'm fed up. I'm disabled and they know it yet every afternoon I struggle to keep up with them and am often Left trailing behind. The mum never greets me unless I speak first and often never says hi just talks to her older child as I struggle along at the back. Also although Sam has been to ours loads of times they have never once invited my son to their house.
At Easter I gave Sam a chocolate egg and was surprised I got no thanks. I asked mum if he had received it and she just said yes and nothing else.
I have taken to taking painkillers at 2pm in prep for school run.
My son insits he wants to walk the half mile with Sam, but I'm so fed up with it. It's ok with just my son and me.
Fed up and miserable

This other woman has an opportunity to live in the real and understand that all of us are one banana peel from being disabled. She has the opportunity to teach her son that human grit and human perseverence is not reserved for those who are the speediest, but for those who push themselves to do what needs to be done no matter how hard it is. And yet, here she is ignoring that opportunity by thoughtlessly ignoring the opportunity to be decent to OP. Stupid cow.

OP, nicely, this would drive me insane, having my afternoon held up if one of my childrens parents had attached themselves to me. I had things to do after the school run, I wanted to get home or to an activity and crack on, I really wouldn't have been please to be obligated to make small talk. Perhaps the mother has this time to process her own thoughts, you simply don't know. It isn't her responsibility to facilitate your disability and you shouldn't presume she should.

Again, you have no idea of financial circumstances, I appreciate a little token gift (Easter egg) is lovely, but you have no idea if she could afford to reciprocate, you may well have financially embarrassed her, or you may not, but one shouldn't give gifts with a view to receiving them by return. Maybe they aren't practicing Christians and don't like outward signs of religion, who knows?

With regards to play date invitations, who knows why, I abhorred other peoples children in my house; at the time I didn't have much money and felt my house was shabby by comparison. I didn't want people thinking I was 'poor' .

Hi OP

Another vote for stop walking with them. Your son will be learning that his wanting to see his friend trumps you being in pain which isn't great either

You know those children who never hear "no"? The little emperors?

I didn't encourage friendships with them and didn't invite them for playdates (never more than once anyway).

Tbh, it sounds like the other mum doesn't want your son to walk with them, but he attaches himself. There might be a million reasons - she might be in a hurry to get home, or she might really value that time with her son.

Either way, just do what suits you and try not to take things so personally.

Oh for Pete's sake, to the posters saying that this woman is being cruel, heartless etc... What if she only gets 30min of quality time with her dc before bedtime, or starting out for work on a Nightshift, or is calling into an elderly relative to check on them on the way home....? None of you know her circumstances and stupid comments like "oh it's only a few minutes" show what a lack of empathy really looks like.. you cannot condemn without knowing the woman's life, which we (and that includes the op!) don't.

OP you really are being unreasonable in expecting this woman to change her behaviour purely because you don't say no to your son.

If you can manage full time work you can manage a little walk ODFOD

I detest walking with people as I have arthritis and a spinal problem. I can’t keep up, I limp and forcing myself to keep up with people causes me days of pain. You wouldn’t know by looking at me, and yes I work FT.

I haven't RTFT, but the school needs to make reasonable adjustments for disabled parents. This could include allowing you to park in the school car park for collection, or it could mean a staff member bringing your DC to the car for you. Have a chat to them - anything to make your life easier as a disabled person.

I don't really think you are being reasonable by expecting the other mother to walk slowly as well, that would do my head in, she isn't really obliged to. It's pity you aren't friends as that would have been nice but just because your sons are doesn't mean you both have to be. Hopefully you can get him to wait at the gates or nearby and you can drive by to pick him up instead of actually parking.

@Deadposhtory so what did you do today.

Today is a playdate with another child. Other parents saw me but didn't speak and neither did I. Her son was crying because he couldn't come too but I've listened to what has been posted and parked up a bit nearer the school.
I'm going to slowly distance myself. I deserve better

OP, don't wish to sound harsh but what are you slowly distancing yourself from?

The mum has made it pretty clear that you are not friends.

How old is your son,could he come out by himself and meet you outside the school.You park up,he hops in and away you go,

Sounds like she uses you when it suits her with play dates. School holidays soon so a chance to have a bit of a break from routine.

Ask school if you can park there as youre struggling. No problem then

I don’t understand the ‘I deserve better’ comment. This woman has done nothing wrong. She is not obliged to be your friend. You sound like hard work op.

The other mum isn't obliged to be friends with you or walk with you, she probably just wants to get on.

You sound like a stalker in that last postdeadposhtory

Stay completely away from the other woman and her child. Zero contact. Can you do that?

How does she sound like a stalker?

I'm not sure what you mean by 'I deserve better' from what I've read she's just a mum who wants to get home and everyday you let your kid stick to them and then expect them to walk slowly even though she's made it clear she needs to get a move on. You gave her child an Easter egg without asking if it was ok to give him one, always check with a parent first maybe she'd told him no more chocolate. You've invited child to lots of play dates but haven't been invited back, some mums don't want other kids round, I hate having other people's kids round; my younger one gets left out, the house gets destroyed and I just find it so stressful I do it because my child loves it but I certainly don't blame others if they don't invite back. Look some mums want to be school friends some want to get there, get the kids and get home. Yes it would be nice if she took your disability on board and walked slowly with you but maybe she needs to get home or the other child has clubs, whatever the reason tell you child "no we say goodbye at the gate and let x and y get on with their evening" I think it's really rude to expect them to wait for you everyday.

Park closer to the school?

If you have a blue badge you can park as close to the school as you need including on double yellows. We were told this at my DCs school but everyone parks on the double yellows regardless...

Was there ever a verbal arrangement or unspoken agreement that you do the walk together? Is the other mum aware of it? I walk home in the same directions as some other parents from school but it hasn't crossed my mind I'm being rude by going about my day without them.

Parking on double yellows depends on the markings on them but either way generally won’t be safe outside a school as they are there for a reason. But I do agree park as close as you safely can