School run mum. Dreading it

[Deadposhtory]

I'm sat in my car about half a mile from D's school.
He has a friend I'll call him Sam. Sam has been his friend since reception and every afternoon we walk we Sam's parents the half mile to our cars although we park in different car parks.
I'm fed up. I'm disabled and they know it yet every afternoon I struggle to keep up with them and am often Left trailing behind. The mum never greets me unless I speak first and often never says hi just talks to her older child as I struggle along at the back. Also although Sam has been to ours loads of times they have never once invited my son to their house.
At Easter I gave Sam a chocolate egg and was surprised I got no thanks. I asked mum if he had received it and she just said yes and nothing else.
I have taken to taking painkillers at 2pm in prep for school run.
My son insits he wants to walk the half mile with Sam, but I'm so fed up with it. It's ok with just my son and me.
Fed up and miserable

My son was in ms and was disabled . I was allowed to use the disabled bay at the school because the alternative made him upset because his legs hurt .. why don't you ask ?

Wouldn’t the problem be solved if you just said no to your child? I’m sure that’s not as hard as you having to walk.

Fellow disabled Mum here, @Deadposhtory? If you get to school late because you work FT, surely you’re better driving all the way to school and parking in the Blue Badge bay? Rather than parking half a mile away and having to walk to and from the car?

It’s nice that your DS wants to walk with his friend but some things just aren’t do-able. I think you will have to say to him that the walk causes you too much pain. When he’s old enough to walk to the car and meet you then it’s different. It sounds like he sees “Sam” all day at school anyway.

Wrt the other parent, stop buying Sam presents.

I have MS. You can't "tell" by looking at me. I am not disabled enough for a blue badge. I work 4 days a week. The fatigue is a bastard. Sometimes I'm ok, sometimes not.
I made a point of telling every parent of a child that my dd was friends with at primary that I have MS. And other parents that I saw and chatted too. I told them once. They could do a git of google research on the condition if they want. I found them all subsequently to be friendly and understanding.

As for the person who said to op "If you can manage full time work you can manage a little walk, just tell them to slow up a bit, have some self respect."

That's what a fucking tit would say so I assume you don't realise how horrible that sounds and have expressed yourself poorly.

I think you need to read the signs, if I was the other parent I would want to be getting home to spend the evening with my kids, not walking at a slower pace with someone who isn't really a friend.

It's not actively being mean, but basically she doesn't want to walk with you, else she would wait.

Op you need to be a good example to your child, don't let him see other people treat his mother so badly. He will come to think that it is perfectly okay for others to treat you and him like crap.

When he is older he will be upset that his friend's parents were so cruel to you, and if he understood (he sounds too young to know now) I am sure he would tell you not to put up with it anymore!

Some people are just bloody horrible, nothing to do with you, just them and their myopic view of life.

The school next to me let's blue badge holders use the school car park. If you have one you need to use it.

It's not actively being mean,

I beg to differ. What kind of person leaves a disabled person behind that also happens to invite your child to lots of playdates??? What kind of person thinks it is more important to get home five minutes earlier rather than help someone in pain? What is wrong with the woman, she could easily offer to walk both boys back and save op the pain and trouble of walking half a mile for no reason.

You sound very selfish ticking and self absorbed. I am sure your kids could spare your affections for five minutes so that you could be a decent, compassionate human being. Your children will then grow thinking of someone other than themselves, as they would have had a good role model in you but clearly not.
Where is your empathy for the plight of another parent? Jesus christ.

There is no way that you know what is going on in the other mothers life.

You just look after yourself and forget her. Good luck.

The other mum may not even realise you want to walk with her if you are (in her eyes) lagging behind. They may think you are being the unfriendly one. Who knows!

I often see another mum walking towards the school. I really like her and find her interesting and amusing to talk to. Earlier in the year, I'd hotfoot it to her and often she would not say hello. She was/is busy, she is from the area and doesn't appear to particularly want or need new friends. Now I say hi and dawdle behind her. Perhaps she now thinks I'm the unfriendly one.

I wouldn't stress about it OP. School gate 'friendships' are very much on a superficial level only. Explain to your son that you will now be parking as close to the school as possible.

One of my children had a friend she liked walking part way home with. This friends mother wasn't very nice so I used to dread it. Presents werent acknowledged nor recipricated either I started parking somewhere different so that we didn't walk in the same direction. If we walked home and so were they, I'd deliberately stop at the cafe/shop mid walk to avoid walking back with them. I also stopped buying presents, I encouraged my daughter to make a card/drawing instead.

Ticking walking with her would hardly take up your evening, 5minutes surely?? I’d hate to be so lacking in empathy and kindness

She might not even know you are disabled either.

She is rude, but it's clear by now that's she's not your friend and doesn't want to be.

Don't expose yourself to more of this treatment. Try to park somewhere else and walk on your own.

@Deadposhtory If you have a blue badge then you should be able to park in school car park if you clear it with the office

Park at the school.
Tell your ds not to expect to walk with sam every day.

Dont do it.

Cut sams mum a break she clearly doesn't want to be walking with you guys either.

Focus on new friends at school for you both.

Well she might have enough on their plate and doesn't want to make friends with you, that doesn't make her rude, I would call it unfriendly.

My daughter often walks out of school back to the car with friends. I've never felt the need to talk to their parents. I'm certainly not obliged to reciprocate play dates or presents. Sorry, i think YABU.

The other mum doesn't sound very nice when it comes to inviting your son back for play dates etc, or teaching her son to say thank you, but she isn't in the wrong for not wanting to slow down and walk with you back to the car. She may be rushing off to do something else or it may be her time with her son. You need to stop letting your son dictate how you have to walk. He needs to learn that your disability means you need to slow down. He needs to learn it's not all about him, that you require some thought and sympathy too.

Park somewhere else!

Don't walk with them, you're in control of your child just say, you must walk with me/hold my hand. Sounds like they don't want to walk with you and whilst they're rude not to than you for gifts etc I wouldn't be encouraging that side anyway. You child can have friends without giving gifts or walking with them every day. Say you need to see teacher or go different way etc tell your son that you want to just be with him, maybe Sam's mum wants special time with him. Just break the cycle.

To be clear there is no disabled parking in the school car park. Bb or not. It's too small and too many bb holders,so a blanket ban. So I park in the disabled area half a mile away and yes only doing it for my son as easier to park elsewhere which I will be doing from now on and yes the other parents know I'm disabled and I need sticks and walk with an odd gait. Thanks for the advice I've taken it on board and yes today the mother walked off ahead but luckily the kids were really slow

This isn't about asking other mum to slow it's about explaining to child what you can manage and what you expect him to do. He shouldn't run off with Sam if it isn't an arranged thing. He should stay with you. If you don't have an arrangement with the mum then she's probably annoyed at them tagging along with you. Although if I were her I'd say to your son that you need to go back to your mummy and walk with her, we need to get on quickly today. Like pp said you may just have to say no to him.

Blue badge holders can park in my DC's old primary school - but I seem to recall they campaigned for it.

If this is not a thing at your DS's school - then ask them, it is not unreasonable.

If not, see is you can find somewhere else to park, where you take a different route to Sam. And/or tell your DS that he can't walk with Sam anymore. You're in pain, you really don't have to be a martyr to your DS's every whim. Prep him in advance - "darling from now on, you have to walk with mummy, not Sam, because we're going to park here/or mummy finds it to tiring to keep up with Sam's mummy."

I dreaded anyone joining in our walk back to the car. It was the best time for having a real conversation with my children. I got so much good sharing from those few minutes. I am a friendly sort but I would shut down any such attempts so she might not be a total cowbag.

She has made it abundantly clear that she does not want to walk with you to the cars. She does not want to encourage a friendship either. So don't do it. Say no to your child.

Our school let's blue badge holders park right up at the school. Some parents have an arrangement with the school where they are always late: the child goes to the office and the parent picks up after the main traffic has cleared (reasons seem to be mobility, illness and celebrity).