to not turn up to court?

[gtigti]

Family law matter. I haven't received any paperwork as I'm living at a confidential address. It may be at my old address (friends house) but I haven't picked any post up from there as I've changed all my important paperwork. I didn't realise I was expecting court paperwork.

Turns out I'm due in court tomorrow. No time to get legal representation or legal aid sorted. Don't know what time the hearing is. Don't even know what it's for.

AIBU to not turn up or will that make me look like I don't care? I'm scared I will turn up completely unprepared and unaware of what I'm walking in to.

My address is confidential and I have an injunction against my ex. The hearing for this was held where I live now so he clearly knows I'm not in my previous city anymore.

What do I do?

Thank you @VivienneHolt - still got that horrid butterflies feeling

This is great news! It sounds as though they were not aware of the broader context, and now they will likely pursue a hearing (fact finding) where you will be able to share your experiences with the relationship, such that the judge can determine the risks posed by the request being made. This often results in the case being dropped altogether, due to there being too much risk posed to the child. The 'bundle' is your files.

It will get better from here, you’ve done an amazing job managing lots of stress and coming out on top. Now you have time to get yourself sorted, with some legal aid and a proper understanding of what precisely the case filed is about.

given you have a non mol, his behaviour has been crap so not surprising you are feeling shaken, outr of sorts, anxious as it till be reviving all those horrible feelings and memories.

Thank you both. Argh you're all so kind! I have felt so ashamed of my situation. The support and help around the court case is much needed and appreciated 🙏

It sounds as if they’ve adjourned and transferred the hearing to your local court and it is at this next hearing that the judge will consider whether a finding of fact is necessary, this is in cases where allegations of domestic violence are being made and disputed and where there is no concrete evidence to prove either way who is being truthful (such as police records).
If they direct this, you will need to complete a schedule of allegations, which will be then sent to your ex, and he will respond to the allegations made. The court will then hear evidence from you both, and will determine whether on the balance of probabilities the abuse occurred.
Your solicitor will help you with this.

Thanks @FenellaVelour - there are some things I have proof of. Many things I don't. I'm really hoping that it is taken seriously and that they advise that the abuse did take place. I'll be absolutely gutted if they find it never happened. It absolutely did.

All you can do is be truthful and give as much detail as you can x

That was my plan all along (hence not pretending I had D&V lol). Thank you again :)

listen lovely, it is not your shame to carry.

truth is truth, whether the courts find enough evidence or not. I hope they give a fair judgment.

It is awful when authorities say something has happened when it hasn't or when it hasn't when it has. sometimes you need your suffering or being wronged againsts to be acknowledged.

@BlackeyedGruesome some things I have evidence for, but emotional abuse is really hard to evidence. Sometimes I wished he would hit me so I could go to the police and be taken seriously. He's really broken me I'm dreading court.

I've just seen your update.
Consolidation with the non-molestation order seems good, indeed.

You should check that your current address is not made available to him, though.

@Lweji I submitted it on a C8 form so hopefully he won't know my address. Thank you!

Hi! Just wanted to add my support to you. You’re handling this brilliantly and when it comes to the courts, honesty truly is the best policy. You have your head screwed on right and nothing to be ashamed of.

I’d reiterate what others have said about advice - go with what your solicitor has advised, and if in doubt, ring them and check. I’m a solicitor but it’s not just about knowing the law, it’s knowing all the facts too. My fingers are crossed for you!

Thank you so much @WhoTellsYourStory - it's nice to hear from a solicitor too! Out of curiosity... would you have advised the same?

The only advice I'd have given you is not to simply not turn up. Beyond that, I'd have said speak to a family law solicitor. I studied a small element of family law (divorce) some years ago now but that's all, I wouldn't dare to try and offer any legal advice on it, I'd be totally out of my depth!