to not turn up to court?

[gtigti]

Family law matter. I haven't received any paperwork as I'm living at a confidential address. It may be at my old address (friends house) but I haven't picked any post up from there as I've changed all my important paperwork. I didn't realise I was expecting court paperwork.

Turns out I'm due in court tomorrow. No time to get legal representation or legal aid sorted. Don't know what time the hearing is. Don't even know what it's for.

AIBU to not turn up or will that make me look like I don't care? I'm scared I will turn up completely unprepared and unaware of what I'm walking in to.

My address is confidential and I have an injunction against my ex. The hearing for this was held where I live now so he clearly knows I'm not in my previous city anymore.

What do I do?

Please please discuss this with your solicitor and not randoms off the Internet who don’t know all the facts.
And don’t worry, having zero notice and having to drive 3 hours each way with a baby is a perfectly valid reason not to go. Lots of people would not have a car at their disposal and it sounds like fuel would stretch you financially as well.

Please please discuss this with your solicitor and not randoms off the Internet who don’t know all the facts.

The OP has

And don’t worry
Did you forget your own advice? It was good, even if redundant.

grace with all due respect some of us are very qualified to advise.

The only bullet proof way to adjourn is to send over a doctors letter with a medical reason. A sickness bug should do the trick.

I took my ds to court about 8 times as a baby as he was breastfed and never had formula. Once he got to nearly 2 the judge got pissed off but I'm not sure what I was expected to do with him and my ex is a vexatious litigant.
Women's aid is a good call. But document everything to the court as to why you can't go and how little time you had.
All the best OP

That is my point- her solicitor told her not to go and she is still asking on here if her reasons are good enough. Ask enough times and you’ll get all sorts of conflicting info. I just repeated the reasons she had already given and presumably also told her solicitor.
Littlekitty it’s not about qualifications it’s about knowing the full facts in addition to being qualified.

@DtPeabodysLoosePants I just don't want to take my son to a high stress environment in the same room as someone who has abused both of us.

Do as your solicitor says. The case will be postponed to a time and place you can manage. It is unlikely to all be heard in one day. Cafcas know your position, hope they will support you.

@Missingstreetlife I tried to get hold of cafcass today but they didn't answer. They left her a message to call me back.

I would trust your solicitor. She is unlikely to steer you wrong.

Ass @Littlekottystops says- doctors appointment is bulletproof but I suppose it’s not realistic at the moment? Your reasons are valid if you make them sound valid ( you do). There is not much else you can do in such short notice.

No, and you shouldn't have to. What did cafcass say when they rang you the first time? I've never known them ring me back before a court hearing so don't get your hopes up there. My phone always autocorrects to carcass which is about right! They were useless with my case every time.

@Littlekittystops That's terrible advice. As a GP, I'd refuse to do such a letter. Most GPs would. We are told repeatedly during our training that we should almost never do "unfit for court" letters (I say almost never because if a patient was on ITU on a ventilator I'd consider it). It's private work, so even if OP's doctor is mug enough to do it, OP would be charged for the letter, which it sounds like she can ill afford.

First - please take a deep breath. This is going to be okay, you are strong and capable and more than able to deal with this. Well done for leaving, that’s such an achievement in itself.

Your solicitor has given you the correct advice. You should request that your solicitor advises the court that they have failed to serve a copy of the Order from the Court with sufficient notice, due to them having not delivered the summons to the correct address. Your solicitor should explain the circumstances, such that the case should be heard at the nearest court to your child’s location, without giving him access to your address. They can do this using Form C8 and should also work toward completing Form C1A, to further evidence the DV issues. Ensure your solicitor has the case number for the non-molestation order such that the context of the case is supported by a documented, linked chain of events.

Prior to going to court, CAFCASS should conduct a telephone interview with you in order to allow you to explain your safeguarding concerns. This will ensure you have access to appropriate special court measures, including but not limited to screens or a TV link.

In order to access a McKenzie friend, I’d advise contacting Victim’s Support. They will be able to best direct you to the appropriate service for your area.

Have PMed you OP

you if op caught a sickness bug ( and there is a nasty d&v going around at the moment) and had a telephone appointment with her GP, and explained she is in due in court. The doctor would be obliged to write a letter to the court accordingly.
Yes there is a small fee for the letter, but a small price to pay. A medical letter can not be refused by the court is the point!

Of course it’s far from ideal, and much better for op to attend fully armed with legal representation, prepared and with childcare ideally, but it’s too late for that!

I don’t have much confidence that this can be sorted out in time, given op can’t even reach the relevant agencies.

You don’t seem to be offering any advice. Perhaps it would be more helpful putting your energies into offering a solution to op.

YouWhoNeverArrived

YouWhoNeverArrived’s advice seems sensible and a far better bet than perjuring yourself with a made up illness.

OP I agree with your solicitor’s advice. Write an email detailing:
A) when you discovered about the hearing
B) why you can’t attend
C) the attempts you’ve made to contact the court/Cafcass
D) your concerns about your Ex (a broad summary should do for now)
E) the injunction
F) your requests about transfer of the case and confidentiality of your address
G) your solicitor’s details

@littlekittystops What are your qualifications? Are you a doctor or a lawyer?

If OP rang me and claimed she had D&V, I'd have absolutely no way of knowing whether that was true, and so I can't write a letter stating it as fact or saying she's unfit for court.

As writing "unfit for court" letters is not part of my GMS contract, I'm not obliged to do it. It's private work, which I can either refuse to do, or agree to do for a fee. Like most GPs, I refuse to do "unfit for court" letters because people often lie, as you're suggesting the OP does in this case (unless I'm missing something here, OP hasn't said she has D&V or that that's the reason she doesn't want to go to court tomorrow).

You're suggesting the OP lies to her GP in order to deceive him/her into providing a false statement to the court. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Op, what exactly is he taking you to court for?

My mantra for court is to be entirely honest the whole way through. I'm not about to start pretending to be unwell. I'm not 12 years old - the days of pretending to be sick to get out of things are well behind me. I don't even know where that suggestion came from.

Family hearings should take place at the court nearest the child.

If he knows the general area in which you live already, I’d ask the court to adjourn the hearing and transfer it to your local court.

This would give you time to speak with a solicitor and if you qualify, to apply for legal aid.

@bobbybella I don't really know. CAFCASS said child arrangements and prohibited steps to stop me from moving but without the paperwork in front of me I can't say for sure. My solicitor will not represent me without seeing paperwork.

Sorry that sounded really arsey and I didn't mean it to...
if he is taking you to court for a CAO and you have documented proof of his abuse, then really, you shouldn't have much to worry about. Plus your solicitor sounds on it.

@bobbybella it wasn't arsey at all don't worry

Op do whatever you think is right, but rest assured a three hour drive, no notice and a baby certainly will not cut any ice. So be prepared.