AIBU and weird? Secondary embarrassment.

[TheFastandCurious]

I get so embarrassed / uncomfortable at things that have nothing to do with me that I can’t deal with it.

Example; those practical joke shows where people are making fools of themselves for a laugh.

Most people cringe for others but also find it funny. I have to turn the tv off because I feel so embarrassed even though I’m not there and it’s got absolutely nothing to do with me!

My DH thinks I’m so weird. Am I alone or does the cringing for others get too much for anyone else?

Me too! I can't even watch things like the red chair on Graham Norton as I find it too embarrassing!

No, so on that basis I think you might be a little weird😅 It’s bad enough being overwhelmed with embarrassment when you’ve done something off but to carry that for what other people do is really not very healthy. You must have a very deep level of empathy or something.

I'm the same!! I can't watch talent show type things. I'm not having speeches at my wedding as Itheyre always so cringe. Such an awful feeling is cringing at something!!!

Me too! I can't even watch things like the red chair on Graham Norton as I find it too embarrassing! grin

That’s it! Exactly that! I can’t watch that either. Perfect example of what I mean. If my DH has that on I have to leave the room. So odd.

No, I also think you're being a bit weird. I tend not to find others embarassement funny, so am also a bit weird, but I can watch it.

I tend not to laugh though and find it totally uninteresting. So usually i do other things at the same time if it's on. I don't need to leave th room or switch it off though and don't feel secondary embarrassment. I just don't find it funny.

I can't watch pranks or people doing hoax phone calls. I just feel so sad for the victim.

I'm the same. I can't stand things like X factor or Britain's got talent for the same reason, i find it hard to watch. I really hate those online pranks which is just don't think are funny, especially the ones where they scare people, you don't know that persons medical history and what a scare might do to them

Yes my husband thinks I'm weird, because I go red from embrassment for others. I cringe when i see those home tv shows too, I have to look away!

Same here. I can’t watch talent shows or bake offs. They make me deeply uncomfortable.

I am at the extreme other end of this spectrum and cringe is my life
I’m so sad

mimibunz bake offs? Why bake offs? Is that because of the harsh judgment?

Im so pleased i’ve found my people, I thought I might be the only one like this.

I'm the same. I think subconsciously I imagine myself in the same position and how awful I would feel. The whole culture of 'pranks' makes me feel very uncomfortable. Playing a harmless 'April Fools' joke strictly privately inside the home is about as far as I can go with practical jokes.

There's a word for it in my language - being embarrassed on someone else's behalf, I mean. I suppose that means it's more understood/accepted as a concept.

I'm the same. I struggle to watch awkward scenes, even in dramas and I hate seeing people lose in game shows and things like Bakeoff. I'm autistic and hyper-empathy can be part of that so I'm not sure if that's why.

I am at the extreme other end of this spectrum and cringe is my life
I’m so sad

Oh I cringe at myself too. Many moons ago I posted a serious AIBU and was told I was and a few people got really nasty.

I cried about it for a week and still go red thinking about it now. Never again. (This is lighthearted enough for people not to be awful I hope)

I don't have an issue but dp cannot stand awkward humour like this. I tried to get him to watch Napoleon Dinomite but he wasn't having any of it. When someone is acting awkwardly on the telly and especially embarrassing themselves in front of others he gets really uncomfortable!

I've never been when this has h appenned but someone told me that sometimes the audience applaud at the end of a film at the cinema.
Even the thought makes me die of cringe and embarrassment for them

Sorry so yanu! I think it happens to lots of people, men and women!

I don't like it either, that second hand embarrassment. I'm not a fan of 'pranks' at all, I think they are all cruel.

I don't mind Graham Norton's red chair though. They're in on it.

You are not alone. I can't watch anything like that and my brother is the very same

I'm pretty similar OP. I find cringey things unfunny and sometimes upsetting. Like that clip that is wheeled out on TV from years ago from Beadles About or something like that where they apparently convinced someone that there were aliens in their garden. Then of course the person has to play along when the joke is revealed and have a jolly good laugh at themselves. 30 years later and people on TV are still laughing at them. How humiliating.

Even the thought makes me die of cringe and embarrassment for them

This reminds of the time I was on a plane when everyone clapped when it landed.

I cringed so hard my eyes watered. My husband asked if I was crying. I wasn’t crying but I was ‘cringeing so hard my eyes watered’.

That’s so weird I think only people that have the same response would get that!

I think there's a German word for that feeling. I definitely feel that and can't watch Britain's Got Talent etc. I even feel it every time I see the clip of Teresa May dancing

The plane thing wouldn't bother me though. I'm so scared of flying that when the plane lands safely I give serious consideration to building a shrine dedicated to the pilots and spending the rest of my life worshipping there.

YANBU. I’m with you. I really can’t bear talent shows, especially when the contestant is really terrible. I feel so bad for them that no one in their family has had a gentle word and told them it’s a bad idea. I’m not very good with show off-y people who always try to draw attention to themselves in general—super cringe! The other thing that makes me want to crawl out of myself is the OTT earnestness, the long story about how their dog dying when they were nine inspired them to want to sing etc. I’m cringing just typing this. I, too, am an excessive empath though. I feel things very deeply—even if I’ve only seen or heard about them.