AIBU and weird? Secondary embarrassment.

[TheFastandCurious]

I get so embarrassed / uncomfortable at things that have nothing to do with me that I can’t deal with it.

Example; those practical joke shows where people are making fools of themselves for a laugh.

Most people cringe for others but also find it funny. I have to turn the tv off because I feel so embarrassed even though I’m not there and it’s got absolutely nothing to do with me!

My DH thinks I’m so weird. Am I alone or does the cringing for others get too much for anyone else?

I really can't take watching others being embarrassing. I cringe for them. I could never watch The Office or find clips funny because of it. My father was the same but not my mother.

No. it still weirds me out, especially when they get that enraptured look on their faces.

I can appreciate that many hymns are beautiful, but I like mine old school. No swaying and clapping. Just plain old singing.

I am like this too! Haggling, people on talent shows who think they’re good when they’re not - urgh!

The worst one for me ever, that came straight into my head, is the episode of friends when Ross has leather trousers and gets himself covered in talc and lotion in a woman’s bathroom. I can’t watch it, it’s so hideously cringey.

Oh yes, you do have to choose the right church or choir for your preferred level of participation.

Oh and yes, there's an episode of Frasier, commonly cited as one of the funniest ever, set in a ski lodge, where they're all running in and out of each others' bedrooms, farce style. I can't stand that one, it made me feel very uncomfortable, even though I understood the intent and usually loved the show.

My mother has this. She never came to see us in shows or plays or doing sport. Only decades later am I beginning to forgive her for her total lack of interest (or so it seemed) in my life growing up. Anyone who feels this, be careful not to let your children suffer.

This is so interesting. I don't suffer as much as most on here, but I do get a little bit of that "OMG I can't watch this" at embarrassing situations on TV programmes - like that time George Galloway was a cat on Big Brother.

I think they invented the term "car crash telly" just for things like this. So bad you can't look, but... you just HAVE to look....

DH gets this. He has to cover his face when he watches certain shows because he's so mortified for the people he's watching. I've never understood it and find it brilliant that he's not alone!

swaying and using tambourines is a good, practical way to stay in the right rhythm

In the nicest possible way, just reading the above sentence gives me secondary embarrassment.

I also want to die for people doing flash mobs

Oh god I know someone who did a flash mob proposal to his girlfriend - he arranged for everyone in the cafe they were in to start singing. I wasn't even there but I wanted the ground to swallow me up just from hearing about it! In fact the thought of any marriage proposal that's in any way public, so the person is put on the spot with others watching, makes me cringe my insides out.

LadyBumclock. I find all public proposals, especially those on to, utterly excruciating. What if they say no?!

Urgh yes public proposals. i watch through my fingers at those videos. Yes, flash mobs are the height of cringe too.

In fact, I think this is part of why, though I loved the show Frasier, I disliked the character. Partly because he's unbearably pompous and lacking in self-awareness but also partly because a lot of the humour pertaining to his character was about awkwardness and embarrasment - and situations where anybody less pompous would have, should have felt awkward and embarrassed.

Public proposal + flash mob = I'd actually die.
Tbf the marriage is not going to work if they'd think I'd in anyway like that.

I've often complained about the "comedy of embarrassment". To me it is cheap gags that not only aren't funny, I don't want to be around it. So very much with most of you on this thread.

I think I am like the previous poster who likes "just plain old singing". My daughter has "the cringe" fairly strongly and it is difficult to get her to sing if she thinks it is the wrong context / might be overheard if she's not meant to be heard. Her younger brother is more relaxed on that one (to her embarrassment). Both are actually extremely accomplished singers - DD had a distinction in grade 8 earlier this year and there is talk of doing a diploma during 6th form.

Swaying around with a tambourine no, just no.

Those elaborately choreographed first dances that were a big thing at weddings for a while and were all over YouTube. Even more so if they're supposed to be funny.

Not at all weird, part of what makes Peter Sellers a genius.

We are laughing but also dying for Inspector Clouseau.

Clapping when the plane lands - you do know that the pilot and not the autopilot is flying the plane then?? So it is an act of skill

I find it hard to even watch dramas on TV, or watch films, because I'm cringing for the actors. All I can think is 'you're 40 years old and you're dressed in a rubber suit pretending to be a superhero, jumping about in front of a green screen, talking to a giant monster that isn't there'

Oh I definitely have this. I also can't watch any sort of embarrassing confrontation, like on Watchdog or Rogue Traders where they confront the dodgy tradesman with the fact they've been secretly filming as the other person tries to get into their van and drive off. The whole thing just makes me want to curl up into a ball.

PineappleSeahorse

In the nicest possible way, just reading the above sentence gives me secondary embarrassment
:D Sorry! I don't actually use a tambourine, but I am in a singing group, and shifting your feet or tapping a finger really can help to stay at the right place when you are singing in rounds and another group is singing different words to yours.

I would say that I only really feel embarrassed for others if they actually look like they might be embarrassed or uncomfortable. If someone is really going for it in a choir I can comfort myself with the thought that they are obviously really enjoying it.

When my son was in primary school, on the last day there was a dreadful stage show. They played tapes of children's songs, so all the kids on the stage were doing were standing there unmoving, sadly lip-syncing, with looks of total boredom. At the back was my son, who had decided to protest by doing jazz hands and dancing around in a way that would have everyone on this thread in tears of pain :D

Yes yes yes!

I hate things designed to make people uncomfortable! Can't watch prank shows at all!

Also I really struggle to control my emotions if something happens in real life. An example was when we were watching our dd perform in a play (already difficult) & the fire alarm went off. Kids had to be escorted outside by the helpers of which I was a back up so duly went along with a group & noticed one was really upset as her doll was in the changing room & they had had to leave from the stage so no time to rescue the doll. My god I could hardly speak due to the lump in my throat trying to reassure her that her doll would be fine. There was no fire & it was just a precaution to take them outside. It was like I could truly feel her distress! Horrible!

This is why I rarely watch comedy shows and never watch reality TV or prank shows. It’s too much cringe! The same with musicals, when they lead into a song, my toes just curl.

Weirdly enough I’m fine with karaoke.

@TheFastandCurious

No I like cringe! I think it’s is funny to an extent obviously there is a line. I really enjoy making my DC laugh at me and am not afraid of Cringe. I embrace it. I think this is defensive because if I know I am being cringe then no one can make me feel bad about it!
I find BGT etc boring really not cringe