We live in a flat with a garden. Our access to the garden is via a side return. It's a huge garden (for London, anyway) divided into three - NDN's bit (she lives downstairs and has direct access), our bit, and then a communal bit. You wouldn't be able to distinguish one bit from another from looking at it, nothing is fenced off.
NDN is generally lovely. We moved in two years ago, she put up with our renovation work, will always offer to have our toddler if we're stuck, shares all her garden equipment and water supply with us. All great, except - she's never been good enough at picking up after her dog. Last year I went out to the garden daily and there was usually shit out there (in our bit and the back), and it was clear that a few days would pass before she picked up. This year it's a bit more important as DD is a walking toddler now. When there's shit out there, I text her. Responses range from "Oh, I'm on top of it now that I have such lovely neighbours!" to "Done x" to "We're away but will tell DD/DS to sort" etc. She's away a lot.
I'll cut to the chase - if this was me, I'd be fucking crawling under a rock with embarrassment at needing to be told to clean up after my own dog. I've had dogs; their bowel movements aren't a mystery.
This weekend DH picked up a few days' worth because he needed to mow the lawn. I texted NDN in the evening. Got a reply to say she'd text her (adult) DD. Then hysterical wailing and sobbing from downstairs for over an hour as they spoke on the phone. And a text from her DD very late at night to say that she's very very sorry she dropped the ball, she has a mood disorder that stops her doing basic things, if it's ever a problem again can we text her.
Very bluntly - this has been going on for ages now and I have no reserves of sympathy left, everything sounds like an excuse at this point.
It's not my job to text anyone before I go out to use my own garden.
I have more than a touch of "When I was your age..." with her kids (we're all of five years apart) which is colouring my response.
I think she got away with it for years because no one else used the garden. But that's not my problem, and actually I've put a lot of effort and money into making it nicer for all of us (which she's acknowledged).
AIBU? And can someone please tell me how to say "It's your fucking dog, just deal with it", but, you know, sympathetically? Because otherwise it's a choice between fencing our bit of garden (expensive, ugly) or waiting for the dog to kick it.