AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

[ThunderandPharoah]

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

Its not one holiday though Micah, its the whole attitude of valuing something like a holiday over education.

Of course your teenage kids would rather have a flash holiday. But I imagine when they are students working their 4th waitress shift of the week with an essay due in, they would rather have the £2k.

If you have more than one child you have to think perhaps a family holiday will benefit more than one child.

Our holidays as a family are some of our most precious shared memories.

I agree @Fibbke my father died a decade ago and family holidays are clear in my mind. Important in ways I think people don’t always appreciate at the time.

We struggle to go away much now for various, mainly financial reasons, but we all often talk about the holidays we had. Happy days.

Lets hope the younger siblings don't want to do maths then, because a year out is really not recommended by unis for that choice..
Don’t be ridiculous.

@daisypond We knew we could afford the £3k, plus rent and maintenance, but the sudden rise to £9k was a bit of a blow. how is this relevant? Parents don’t fund the 9k, or the 3k as it used to be. Parents don’t pay tuition fees at all. What do you mean rent and maintenance? They are part of the same thing.

Ds has no student loans whatsoever. We funded the tuition fees, paid the accommodation and provided money to live on. That meant paying £3k at the start of each term for tuition, then whatever Halls were per term for the first year, plus a monthly allowance to live on. In year 2 rinse and repeat, except I paid the rent direct to the l/l. Same in year 3. Some parents do fund the tuition fees.

For his MA there was a discount on the tuition fees as he was returning alumni, again, we paid termly. We paid 4 times for his Halls for his MA as he stayed til the end of August, when his project was handed in (more than the tuition fees, but brand new town houses for post grad students), and an allowance again.

As he was at university from 2014-18, and I dealt with all the payments, I know that we paid the tuition fees, and I have the receipts to prove it. Ds did not apply for a student loan, as we were willing to fully fund him.

*Its not one holiday though Micah, its the whole attitude of valuing something like a holiday over education.

Of course your teenage kids would rather have a flash holiday. But I imagine when they are students working their 4th waitress shift of the week with an essay due in, they would rather have the £2k*

Education is over rated. I say that as someone with a PhD. I went to uni at 18 bowing to parental pressure as “there was no money” in the field I wanted to go in to and I “needed a degree” for a good career.

Guess what? Pay in my STEM field is shit. I actually ended up in the NHS as the pay was better.

If I’d have stayed in the field I originally wanted, where a degree wasn’t necessary, seen by my parents as “beneath me” as back then it was min wage, I’d now be doing extremely well- the field has exploded and there is massive money in it- way more than STEM. Or I’d be looking at retirement at 50 with a great pension.

I did love my uni and my degree course. But it mainly got me into a lot of debt that will never be recouped.

2k is £12 a week over a 3 year degree course. A couple of hours waitressing, hardly 4 shifts a week.

To those who said "you had kids" tuition fees were £1000 a year when dd1 was born and we set up a trust, it has over £10k in it from us saving. The government tripled the fees in 2012, by then we had two kids and £60 a month each was all we could afford to save so had to accept they would need loans. The maintenance is just crazy, but because we saved we will cope by no way have I got £10k spare each year, our family outgoings eg mortgage are quite high, car is on last legs, huge vets bill and no pay rise for 5 years

They each have ISAs. The way they're going their going to have a few £K in there by 18. So if they want to go to Uni they can use their own money. That money has come from money we were given at their births, birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc

If they will have enough money to top up the loan amount anyway, why are you going on about them having to have jobs if they want to do a degree and having to go somewhere you specify etc. You are constantly changing your story and I can't take your seriously.

Halls are stupid prices though. A friend's DD turned down a place at Durham because the college she was allocated was £7k hall fees. So even with her parents topping her up to full loan levels she would have struggled.

My kids have been fortunate to choose northern unis, get the cheapest halls as first years and live in cheap shabby student houses for the rest of their time.

Fwiw dh has no degree and earns significantly more than me. Plus he has more working years behind him. Not going to uni, especially not going at 18, is not condemning to a lifetime of poverty.

They are much more likely to have a minimum wage job with no degree nowadays though. I don't know how old you and your DH are but things have changed very much with regard to whether or not a degree is required in recent years.

To those who said "you had kids" tuition fees were £1000 a year when dd1 was born and we set up a trust, it has over £10k in it from us saving.

You don't have to pay those though so not really relevant. Parents are only expected to top up the maintenance loan to the full amount if the students are not eligible for the full loan due to the parents relatively high income.

Full maintenance loan is just under 9k. So if accommodation is 6k, that’s 3k for food, travel, books, clothes etc. £250 a month.
Yes that’s about what an average student lives on.

I'm sure most students will see the difference between parents spending money on the occasional memorable family holiday, and parents who have constant holidays for themselves but apparently have no cash to assist their children.

We are only talking about well off people here who are making choices on how to spend their money. Some will cut their children off in the hope they will get assistance elsewhere rather than put their hand in their own pocket, and think they are being clever.

Remember they are home for a lot of holidays .

Education is over rated This makes me incredibly sad.

Education in not, and never will be overrated. You mean qualifications not education and even then I think there is always something that can be taken away.

In this country we take education for granted. We're lucky.

Length of holiday depends on the degree. The medical degrees I know about have very short holidays. And many more years of incurring debt.

Halls are stupid prices though. A friend's DD turned down a place at Durham because the college she was allocated was £7k hall fees. So even with her parents topping her up to full loan levels she would have struggled.

The 7.5K includes food though (breakfast lunch and dinner) so wouldn't be a struggle if her parents top up the loan.

@Dungeondragon15 a couple of £K probably not the estimated £12K they would need.

The 7.5K includes food though (breakfast lunch and dinner) so wouldn't be a struggle if her parents top up the loan

Not much use unless you can get to the (fixed time) meals though.

DS1 (similar arrangement) was in labs till 5:30 and tended to miss the lunches and half the 6-6:30 evening meals as he couldn't get back in time.

DS1 (similar arrangement) was in labs till 5:30 and tended to miss the lunches and half the 6-6:30 evening meals as he couldn't get back in time.

True but you can choose a self catering hall. DD lives in a hall that caters as she is doing an arts subject and can usually make the meals. If she was doing a subject with labs and a lot of contact hours self catering is best.

rue but you can choose a self catering hall. DD lives in a hall that caters as she is doing an arts subject and can usually make the meals. If she was doing a subject with labs and a lot of contact hours self catering is best

Do you know what your timetable is before you choose halls then?

I would automatically think that catered halls know and work round timetables? A 5.30 finish isn’t that late, and surely they can do what schools do and offer a packed lunch or a voucher for a sandwich?

I think students doing worthwhile degrees should be fully supported by the state as a public investment. Of course, a "worthwhile" degree is subjective. I'll add that I don't think my degree deserves to be free!

For degrees like mine, I think the student has to find a way to fund it, whether that's getting a job or getting their parents to pay.

Do you know what your timetable is before you choose halls then?

You can get an idea by talking to the staff and particularly the students on open days, particularly the offer holder days.

I would automatically think that catered halls know and work round timetables? A 5.30 finish isn’t that late, and surely they can do what schools do and offer a packed lunch or a voucher for a sandwich?

I wouldn't as I know the halls and courses aren't run by the same people. Perhaps it is not obvious to those who haven't been students though and they really should make sure potential students know about it before choosing a hall. Some courses don't finish until 7 nowadays so no chance of a meal.

Do you even get to choose your own hall at Durham considering it is the college system?