To wonder why so few women use the diaphragm nowadays

[Jemima232]

I am forever reading posts about contraception and wonder why so few women use the diaphragm or cervical cap nowadays.

I used both for years and found them very reliable.

No hormones, no coils leading to heavy bleeding/pain and no condoms.

Why have they gone out of fashion?

morehen don’t worry too much about it - if you’re unlucky to not agree with it the obviously it’s really not very nice but many women get on just fine with them. I’m on my second one now which I’m having replaced next week as it’s at the end of its term, so that’s 20+ years with no problems whatsoever and I never have to think about it.

When quoting failure rates it is important to look at typical use as well as perfect use and not just assume that you are or will be "perfect".

Both "only 4-8% failure rate" (not sure I'd consider that "only", TBH) and "only 71-88% effective" are true, but they are measuring different things.

The huge gap between "perfect" and "typical" shows how easy it is to use imperfectly.

Did anyone here ever use a Femidom?!

Those things that looked not dissimilar to a latex windsock and crinkled like the tunnels dogs run through in agility classes? Mmm, sexy.

I was put off when we were shown different contraception in school. The diaphragm looked just like the weird plastic toy that my younger brother had got in his cereal that morning. The plastic disc that you turn inside out and after a few seconds it would spring really high in the air with a pop? I kept imagining it doing that inside me (rationally I know/knew it wouldn't)!!!

I tried a femidom once because I got a free sample. Once was enough.

MirriVan to be fair, I wondered that too

It turns out there is no such "risk of pregnancy per shag" at all. If you have sex within your fertile period without contraception/contraception fails, you have about a 20-25% chance of getting pregnant, assuming you have ovulated, both your partner and you have normal chromosomes, and you have a normal length of time between ovulation and period. It doesn't matter if you have sex once during that fertile period or 10 times (it's about 5 days long). The reason they tell you to shag more than once a month if you're TTC is not because more shagging is better but more because it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly when that 5 day window is without intensive tracking, and even then it's not really possible to be certain until a couple of days after it's passed, so to be sure you want to have plenty of sex around the right time in order to "carpet bomb" the potential fertile period.

People aren't really more fertile than others in the sense of a scale, but some people can have specific fertility problems such as low sperm count or sperm that swim poorly, or for women anovulatory cycles or a short luteal phase meaning an egg doesn't have time to implant. Or either couple has a genetic issue such as a translocation (or simply age related chromosome issues) which causes more pregnancies than usual to fail before they even implant. And some things we don't know exactly why but it's not as though some people have really welcoming vaginas/super sperm or anything like that. It's simply that most people have very few pregnancies in a lifetime so you tend to look at this very small number and try and see patterns in it where there probably aren't any patterns at all. It's just like rolling a dice really - sometimes you'll get a string of ones and sometimes you'll roll double sixes three times in a row and end up in monopoly jail.

A lot of people seem to be making the argument that it's the only non hormonal choice. The copper coil has no hormones and in my experience hasn't caused massively horrible and painful periods. I've always had 7/8 day periods and it's made no difference.

The NHS does push easier methods because they are cheaper and work for most people at the end of the day. They also advise on alternatives and will prescribe what the individual wants.

I’ve always had fairly light periods, lasting a few days, but the copper coil gave me very heavy periods lasting 3 weeks (with only a one-week break till the next period).

Yes sadly the coil just doesn’t suit everybody.

I remember learning about them in school 20ish years ago and even then they seemed old fashioned.

I’ve never really thought about using one, the failure rate is too high for me. I don’t like the idea of putting something inside me each night(I don’t use tampons/mooncup either) and tbh we like to have sex spontaneously not always once we’re in bed, it would ruin the moment! Neither of us mind condoms and used them between dc and now DH has had a vasectomy.

Never used one, and never intend to after seeing those stats tbh. I'm a mooncup user so I suppose I'd be a good candidate, but you might as well use the withdrawal method.

I can see why the NHS are reluctant to promote them with those failure rates, need to replace with weight fluctuations etc. Never mind the hassle of that, but the cost associated with an unplanned pregnancy to the NHS is £££ compared to the pill, IUD or injection.

If you want a contraceptive that doesn't stop you from getting pregnant wouldn't you just use a calendar? Or nothing at all? Surely the lack of pregnancy is the aim? Or protecting against Sti and this does neither

I tried it but couldn't use the spermicide (fire!!!!!), got the worst uti ever and got pregnant.

Full house Jamhandprints :o

I’ve had two stints of using them over the (many years), and I thought they were great. They could be a bit fiddly to insert but not too bad once you got the hang of it

They were also good for having sex during a period - nothing could get in so nothing could get out!

The only thing I wasn’t mad about was the smell of the spermicide, it reminded me of fly spray!

My gp refused to give me one the otger day. I didnt want hormones and wanted to get back to my regular cycle. He said no. Gave me a different pill and pushed the kitena. Really not happy

Mirena not kitena

He also wouldnt give me the copperncoil as for every 30 mirenas they fit 1 copper. He was really pushing the mirena...

I don't know why but I find the word 'spermicide' really funny!

A mother who had at least 2 unplanned pregnancies and a sibling who experienced at least one (but I suspect two) unplanned pregnancies while using a diaphragm was enough to put me off.

The failure rate is ludicrously high. I've always felt I might as well use nothing, or just go with withdrawal or natural methods. I've either wanted to get pregnant or not wanted to. Even in a long term relationship, when it supposedly wouldn't have been a disaster, there wasn't really a middle ground in my mind. So when, for most of my adult life, I've wanted to have sex and not get pregnant I've wanted to use something as effective as possible.

I had one in my 20s, absolutely no problem until the boyfriend who managed to blister himself on it a couple of times - don't know whether it was friction or an allergy to the spermicide, but we went back to condoms after that!

Loved mine. Didn't get pregnant. Can be used in addition to other methods.

(Did get pregnant when I wanted to - almost immediately - so I guess it was effective)

Wasn't there a bit in SATC where one of the characters got one stuck and another one had to pick it out?

That was enough to put me off. I've got enough to do without spending time rooting round my fanny for missing contraception.

I really don't understand this state of being where a person "wouldn't be too bothered" if they got pregnant. I am either looking for something that is as close to 100% as possible or I'm full blown mental ttc, with ovulaion kits and phantom symptom spotting every two week wait. I just can't comprehend that level of chill about something so life changing.