Kids playing in street

[Daydreamer34]

Hi my kids are still only young. Youngest is 4. Other children in surrounding houses play out but my husband and I aren't comfortable with ours doing that yet as they aren't road aware etc enough to be trusted. I will occasionally go out with them and watch them but I don't want to be doing that all the time. We have a large garden with lots of play things and hubby and I want to sit out and relax in our own garden with our own kids and pets .
My aibu is that my kids are hating me for it. They are begging to go out almost every day. I've explained as best as I can but it causes lots of arguments. The other children also knock on for them.
I know people feel differently about it, some don't mind at all which is fine. But it's driving me mad that my kids are getting so upset and it's making me feel a bad mum, but if I give in then I'm doing something I don't agree with. Any advice?

I can't stand children playing out in the street at any age. I think it's tacky and bad parenting. I was never ever allowed and I won't let mine do so either. Play with your children at the park or something, don't let them play in the street alone

I agree with you, happymummy. Fortunately I've never lived anywhere that it is done.

Tacky????
Try natural, experimental, sociable, explorative, flexible, opportunistic, realistic, confidence building, open ended, honest, informative and free (in every sense).

If children had more free time truly playing and less time being ferried about to activities and organised groups or on screen time, children would be happier, have less mental health problems and would have better developed life skills when entering school.

Tacky.... I have never heard the likes of this

natural, experimental, sociable, explorative, flexible, opportunistic, realistic, confidence building, open ended, honest, informative and free

best description of kids running wild - let's not say feral I have seen on this site.

I love Mn

Are we talking about housing estate roads here or actual city/town roads?

Roads that have pavements and houses which most have.

Children can be free and sociable at the park or in the back garden. Mine had adventures with friends in the garden, it was great fun. I wasn't watching them all the time. None of them ever played at the front or even suggested it.

I think perhaps the different opinions reflect how we were all bought up differently. I grew up in a cul de sac that was police houses on one side of the road and fire houses on the other (in the 80s when those houses still existed). We had a green in the centre and we all played out with little supervision.

I suppose I emulated that with my children when the time came. And they seem to be doing the same with my grandchildren now.

surely if anything it’s an absence of parenting? Nothing wrong with that per se, children need space from their parents but you can’t really call it an active form of parenting

No. Part of parenting is giving your children increasing amounts of independence and freedom as they grow.

I can't stand children playing out in the street at any age. I think it's tacky and bad parenting. I was never ever allowed and I won't let mine do so either

Tacky? How?
Bad parenting is mollycoddling your children so much that they never learn how to cope on their own.

I feel sorry for all the children trapped in their house, sadly looking out the window at the children in the street having fun.
So many overbearing parents, no wonder so many children these days have mental health problems.

I too feel sorry for over parented children, who's schedule is packed to the brim.

I could be wrong here but I get a sense that some on here think it's 'a bit rough' to let children play out and that they are above all that.

Of course it's a bit "rough" to leave your kids wander around in the street.

I love the fact that if you don't leave your kids in the street it means they are miserable with overbearing parents.

There are plenty of opportunities to learn independence, build shelters, explore and play. There's absolutely no need or justification to leave the kids screaming and playing balls around cars and in front of neighbours houses.

It's never too early to teach them manners and respect for other people and their neighbours. Who on earth would leave a 4 year old unattended in the street for a start?

Fgs, not allowing your child to play in the street is not 'over parenting', it's quite normal for most families and the kids don't sit, miserable, with their noses against the window pane. What would they see anyway except people coming back from work or shopping and cars? Playing in the back garden is fine, can be extremely boisterous and inventive and parents don't spend their time looking out of the window or sitting by the back door.

Let them go with the other kids. What's the harm?

Have a look at the 'Playing Out' scheme - it allows roads to be closed for the purpose of independent play. It started in the Bristol area but has spread across the UK and beyond. I'm setting up our first session in our street the first weekend of the summer holidays - I can't wait to get out there and watch my kids play with the neighbours' kids just like I used to do as a kid. It also means I have been round to every one of my neighbour's houses, meeting some of them properly for the first time, to talk to them about kids playing out and get their support.

children had more free time truly playing and less time being ferried about to activities and organised groups or on screen time, children would be happier, have less mental health problems and would have better developed life skills when entering school

Wow 😮 I am definitely in the playing out camp . But I am so risk averse . London here and mine didn’t get let out until older than Op

But we have had boys getting beaten up and attacked for their phones

I just don’t know anymore what’s safest

I’m so envious of all the playing out kids! We live in London and nobody plays in the streets any more, we go to the park but I’d love my son to have this street playing experience especially as I had it when I was young. Where do you live OP? Sounds great, make the most of it!

There are quite a lot of Playing Out streets in London Jillyhilly: playingout.net/near-you/

@QuickQuestion2019, yes I completely agree. I don't know how anybody can even say it with a straight face, let alone write it down!

I like the idea of the 'Playing Out' scheme, it seems good and quite a different scene to kids playing in the street/on the pavement near to where they live. I wouldn't have minded mine going to a 'Playing Out' street if they wanted to but we didn't have anything like that then.

I clicked on the link, entered my post code and there isn't such a street in my vicinity. Not that I have use of one now but I was interested and had there been one, might have driven round there to be nosy and report back.

‘Tacky’? There aren’t enough eyeroll emojis in the world...