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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours using road as their back garden...

104 replies

lovesamumbun · 21/06/2019 20:39

So 6 months ago we moved into a a new build (shared ownership through a housing association). Our house is slightly set back off the road, 6 houses but not quite a cul de sac. And now the weather is getting nicer the neighbouring kids are coming out to play. Now I’m all for kids being kids but they are starting to treat it like an extension to their gardens. Around 13 kids, every night, screaming/shouting/kicking footballs at windows and cars until nearly 9 oclock. My 2 year olds bedroom is at the front of the house and it keeps him awake every night (when it’s not raining anyway!) Is there anything I can realistically do? I’ve had words with the parents and it just gets brushed off and they carry on. There is a park literally 30 steps from our houses. I’m losing the will to live. Not here for judgement, just need to know what on earth I can do!

OP posts:
FullOfJellyBeans · 21/06/2019 20:40

Not sure I have any helpful advice but YANBU that does sound annoying - especially balls flying at windows and cars.

Pagwatch · 21/06/2019 20:44

I honesty don’t think that uncommon.
Whenever I’ve known people living in cul de sac the fact that the kids can play safely was discussed as a huge plus.
Must be annoying for you now but I suspect if you had 10 year olds you’d be sending them out too.

LL83 · 21/06/2019 20:48

Same here but I love it. Kids out playing and chapping for each other is so rare these days. Understand it is annoying just now but huge benefits for your ds later.

Perhaps if you ask them to stop playing with ball it would be reasonable (and they might move on to park) Also if park is very close you would still hear them.

DocusDiplo · 21/06/2019 20:51

Sounds lovely to me too

werideatdawn · 21/06/2019 20:55

I doubt you can really do anything. We have kids out playing right now. We find it a plus side of living here. All summer the TV is off and the kids are all out having proper childhoods playing. Annoying for you now but your child will probably love it in the future.

Breakaplate · 21/06/2019 20:55

Agree in a few years yours will be out there, sorry nothing you can do, I black out the windows shut the windows and use a fan on low which keeps him cool and acts as white noise.

SophyStantonLacy · 21/06/2019 20:56

I have such happy memories of growing up playing out on the cul de sac with all the neighbouring kids.

RosaWaiting · 21/06/2019 20:57

I don’t think there’s anything you can do
I agree it’s annoying especially when the park is seconds away.

Oysterbabe · 21/06/2019 21:01

Same here and it's lovely. All the kids in the cul-de-sac go out and play on their scooters and let off steam. You'll love it in a couple of years when your child does the same.

LolaSmiles · 21/06/2019 21:01

Kicking footballs at the windows and making excessive noise etc isn't on by 8/9pm

Normal pre teens- early teens playing football on a summer evening noise is totally reasonable.

Then again I grew up in an area where it was normal to play out til 8/9pm in the summer. On MN I've since found out that this is a massive sin for some people and every child should be in a park because of a right to live near neighbours whilst insisting on peace and quiet at all times (hence the number of whinging threads about people gardening, kids in the street, kids in the garden, people having friends in the garden, people having the kitchen radio on with the windows open).

FrancisCrawford · 21/06/2019 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 21/06/2019 21:03

I love hearing kids outside playing, and I have fond memories of falling asleep listening to it as a kid. I really wouldn't see it as a problem.

ithinkimightbecrazy · 21/06/2019 21:04

I agree that it would be annoying for you now but I bet your child will end up with some great memories in future when he is allowed to play out with the other children. my DH lived in a grove growing up and honestly I am quite jealous. It sounds like a tonne of fun.

you can't be against kids having fun outside when the norm is children glued to smartphones/ ipads and the like.

just enjoy the fact you have a perfect place for kids to live.

floraloctopus · 21/06/2019 21:04

I think it's lovely. A lot of children play out here and I never mind their noise, my DCs used to and now it's lovely that younger children do.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 21/06/2019 21:08

Am I understanding it correctly that your issue is the children who live on the street are playing on the street?

RosaWaiting · 21/06/2019 21:16

I grew up in a close and no one played out there, it was park or garden.

I feel like it was a happier and more considerate time!

In later years, my parents tried to sell and there happened to be some children playing in the street for a second viewing

The family declined after that and said it was that had put them off buying. I think it’s just too close to windows, cars etc

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 21/06/2019 21:17

Your DC will be out there in a year or two, not as late to begin with, but before long the older kids will have moved on to going out with their girlfriends and your DS will be the one out there until later.
How would you feel having neighbours criticising you for letting him play out?
I know it is hard to imagine now but time flies.
White noise machine? Moving DS to a different room an option? If not go with the white noise.

YesQueen · 21/06/2019 21:18

@JoxerGoesToStuttgart if it's anything like where I live it's the screaming/banging/footballs that are the issue
I've had my car damaged before because of a football and the repetitive bang bang bang is frustrating when the park/football pitch is 2 mins walk and the kids are plenty old enough to be there

SuperSara · 21/06/2019 21:22

It's not fucking lovely. It's shit!

I'm with you, OP.

There's a world of difference between young kids enjoying themselves outside on an early summer evening and older pre/teens hoofing balls around at cars and windows and screaming and shouting.

When we first married we bought a nice new build house in a small cul-de-sac and sold within 18 months after the first full summer of them kicking balls everywhere, damaging cars (ours twice) knocking a drain pipe off and breaking the brackets out of the wall, etc, etc.

Neighbour's car was badly dented by a hard cricket ball when other next door dad (a uni lecturer, so not a fuckwit (I thought)) decided that it would be great to have a knockabout with his preteen daughters one evening.

People who say, 'oh, it's lovely...' are either the parents allowing such behaviour or have no clue but are living in a rose-tinted imagination.

DistanceCall · 21/06/2019 21:23

Now I’m all for kids being kids but they are starting to treat it like an extension to their gardens.

The thing is, a cul-de-sac IS an extension to their gardens.

WhiteDust · 21/06/2019 21:27

Around 13 kids, every night, screaming/shouting/kicking footballs at windows and cars until nearly 9 oclock.

How on earth is this 'lovely' ?
YANBU OP

icedgem85 · 21/06/2019 21:28

Are you my neighbour :) it’s like that where we are and I love it. I wasn’t such a fan when I had babies and they were out chattering while I was trying to get him down but now they’re older and join in I love it, it’s a little community.

Jux · 21/06/2019 21:41

I would swap houses with you in a heartbeat, though dd is now 19 and wouldn't benefit. We're quite near a school and I used to love hearing them play at morning break and lunchtime (then dh double glazed the window - divorce nearly happened!).

If you don't make a fuss then your son will quickly get used to it. Otherwise, put him in a back bedroom.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 21/06/2019 21:52

Sounds a brilliant place to grow up.

Original poster
lovesamumbun · 21/06/2019 21:56

No, my issue is with kids swearing (we’re talking primary school kids) kicking balls at cars and running across gardens with no respect. It also isn’t a full cul de sac and cars come and go so it isn’t particularly a safe place to play to begin with. Personally mine won’t be playing out there. We have a perfectly good garden. Maybe that’s just personal preference 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts: