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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours using road as their back garden...

104 replies

lovesamumbun · 21/06/2019 20:39

So 6 months ago we moved into a a new build (shared ownership through a housing association). Our house is slightly set back off the road, 6 houses but not quite a cul de sac. And now the weather is getting nicer the neighbouring kids are coming out to play. Now I’m all for kids being kids but they are starting to treat it like an extension to their gardens. Around 13 kids, every night, screaming/shouting/kicking footballs at windows and cars until nearly 9 oclock. My 2 year olds bedroom is at the front of the house and it keeps him awake every night (when it’s not raining anyway!) Is there anything I can realistically do? I’ve had words with the parents and it just gets brushed off and they carry on. There is a park literally 30 steps from our houses. I’m losing the will to live. Not here for judgement, just need to know what on earth I can do!

OP posts:
PrawnoftheShed · 21/06/2019 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grainedmonkey · 21/06/2019 21:56

I’ve had words with the parents

What did you expect to achieve apart from gaining a reputation as the misery guts on the street? You need to lighten up OP.

CripsSandwiches · 21/06/2019 21:59

YANBU. I think it's lovely for kids to be out playing but not late in the evening and not shouting and swearing and kicking balls into windows and cars. That's very obviously bad behaviour. If there's a park nearby that's clearly the more appropriate place to play football.

Nanny0gg · 21/06/2019 22:01

Most people object to screaming, shouting, balls being kicked at cars and houses at 9pm. If it was a group of teenagers or older doing it, MN would be urging the OP to report it to 101

^^This

It's not a group of toddlers or 7 year-olds. And 9 o'clock in the week is unreasonable- especially with a park right there.

And those sorts of games are very intimidating for non-football playing kids who might prefer to play something quieter or just ride their bikes or scooters around safely. I bet they're using a hard ball too.

You can ask the HA to put up a No Ball Games sign perhaps?

You have my sympathy OP.

Original poster
lovesamumbun · 21/06/2019 22:04

Just to clarify: I’m not opposed to the kids having fun aspect. It’s summer and like we all say, it’s better than being in front of the TV etc. It’s the behaviour and the lack of respect that irritates me. Thanks everyone, looks like it’s a mixed bag 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Waveysnail · 21/06/2019 22:07

Ask parents to swap to beach ball type balls. We did this in our street to.stop cars getting damaged.

Waveysnail · 21/06/2019 22:07

And wouldnt mind during the day but past 8pm I would be annoyed

StoneofDestiny · 21/06/2019 22:08

No point speaking to the parents as they must be able to hear their kids swearing and see them kicking footballs at cars etc.
YANBU - but I'd move to get peace.

PinkSpring · 21/06/2019 22:08

I lived in a HA house once in a cul de sac, nearly every house let their kids play outside in what was essentially the communal parking area.

Screaming and shouting until late, footballs smashing into cars, bikes left everywhere and the parents didn't give a shit.

Was so glad when I got out of there, I don't buy the "it's part of a childhood" to play outside, it's a nuisance and not everyone wants to be subjected to it. I would never allow my children to do it.

When we were house hunting, I refused to look at anything that was in a cul de sac!!

AlexaAmbidextra · 21/06/2019 22:09

The thing is, a cul-de-sac IS an extension to their gardens.

Er, no. I think you will find that they’re two completely different things. And as for people saying they think it’s lovely, I can only assume they let their kids run riot and don’t care who it affects.

PepsiLola · 21/06/2019 22:10

I've gone out and said "play outside your own house I have a baby in the front bedroom and you're keeping her awake"

When in fact my baby is sound asleep but the footy was annoying me

ineedaholidaynow · 21/06/2019 22:16

Why is it lovely having footballs kicked at windows and cars?

A cul-de-sac is not an extension to their garden

HardofCleaning · 21/06/2019 22:20

I sometimes think people on AIBU are so desperate to have a go at the OP they deliberately misread the posts. Kids having fun outside is fine and lovely. Kids playing football in the middle of the road, so the ball crashes into and possibly damages cars is not lovely. Nor is kids shouting and swearing and 9pm is too late.

Yabbers · 21/06/2019 22:31

There is a park literally 30 steps from our houses.

They won’t be any quieter there.

blue25 · 21/06/2019 22:36

Sounds awful and is exactly the reason we avoided cul-de-sacs and new build estates when we bought a house. I need my peace and quiet at home.

My advice-move.

butteryellow · 21/06/2019 22:38

My kids stay in because they're new here and a bit young, but the other kids play out with footballs/on scooters, probably I see the older ones until nearly 9. BUT, they're quiet, and they're careful (another reason I don't let mine out on scooters - they're a bit wobbly).

I don't mind them - we even had some kids playing knock down ginger a couple of times the other weekend - and TBH I thought that was a thing of the past (and the kids were so innocent with it - I saw them waiting 2 doors up and running away when I opened it). It would get annoying quick if they kept doing it I admit.

I like that it's friendly here, that the kids do get on, and that they seem to be good kids.

What I find more tricky is the icecream van coming round at 8:30, when mine are already in bed!

Rainonmyguitar · 21/06/2019 22:38

Was so glad when I got out of there, I don't buy the "it's part of a childhood" to play outside, it's a nuisance and not everyone wants to be subjected to it. I would never allow my children to do it

It absolutely is part of childhood to play outside. I hope you didn't move to another estate with families.

LL83 · 21/06/2019 22:39

Come back in 5 years and tell us your child isn't out there. He will see them and ask to go, then make a friend from school who will invite him out. You will go out and watch for a while, then sit in front garden, then kitchen window before leaving him to it knowing he knows the boundaries and leaving the window open to listen out.

Stefoscope · 21/06/2019 22:39

Amazed at how many people think it's ok to let kids kick balls at cars and windows because at least it gets them out of the house!

Terramirabilis · 21/06/2019 22:52

Sorry OP, sounds like a pain. Maybe daydream about when your kids will be out there causing a ruckus and disturbing their parents by then serene empty nest evenings?

LolaSmiles · 21/06/2019 22:52

Stefoscope
Or as some of us have said, it's not on to pick balls at windows or make excessive noise etc, but a bit of kids playing noise is to be expected.

There are some people who seem to think any sound of kids playing is some sort of terrible antisocial behaviour because they prefer peace and quiet. I've got family friends and relatives who will tell us about the 'appalling' noise and how awful it is and then when we stay they're like 'see... see... they're always like that shrieking and shouting' and it's not antisocial screaming at all, it's a family playing in the garden at 7pm. Some people are oversensitive and that can affect the way they report otherwise reasonable neighbour sounds (as seen on millions of threads where mowing the lawn is a sin, kids playing in gardens is a sin etc).

LolaSmiles · 21/06/2019 22:54

Just to clarify, balls at cars and windows and loud swearing, running over gardens etc is not ok.

I just find the uptight comments about how playing outside is horrible and outrageous to be bizarre.

PregnantSea · 21/06/2019 23:00

It's the UK. Pretty soon the weather will be absolutely vile again. I wouldn't worry about something that's probably only going to happen a few weeks a year, if that.

BonnieBelleStarr · 21/06/2019 23:00

I am trying to get the dc out more . We don't have a garden so we go to the park. I'd love this op. Let them out to play and come home when they are hungry 😊

IceCreamFace · 21/06/2019 23:05

They won’t be any quieter there.

No but OP and other residents will be more protected from the noise as it won't be directly outside their windows and won't have footballs launched at their windows while they're trying to get the kids to sleep.

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