Couples holding hands is really cheesy beyond the teenage years

[HamptonLucy]

I've been watching several episodes of Escape to the Country (please don't judge me too harshly). Almost all the couples clutch each others hands on the sofa and cling on to one another for dear life when they're trundling around the countryside with lovely Alistair, Nicki Chapman or Jules.

Do you think it's a bit cheesy? The Obamas, the Macrons, Harry & Meghan, the Clooneys - all serial offenders.

Harry and meghan shouldn't be holding hands when 'at work' apart from that, I'll jus say I agree with the high mass majority of votes

Don't kill the love.

The world would be a better place if more of us woke up as otters.

Happy to be cheesy. My husband is 75 and I'm 70.

I see it as a bit cheesy too, OP.

But also sweet when it's older people.

My hand would have to be cold and attached to my dead body before I'd hold my dh hand in public, bleurgh. I really am not a fan of grown people out in public clinging on to each other

Holding hands is hardly clinging onto someone.

I think having such strong views against it is more deep rooted tbh. Ppl I know that don't like hand holding have had issues and one or more of these apply:

• Lack of their own space as a child

• They are from large families

• went to boarding school where they weren't allowed to touch others

• they lacked affection from their caregivers growing up

• They didn't see loving, affectionate relationships growing up

• They are very independent and see this as a sign of weakness or dependency

The reason may be subconscious, but in most cases these dislikes stem from somewhere.

I was out with my teenage DDs once and we saw some family friends (a couple) holding hands. My DCs commented on how sweet it was.

DH and I held hands all the time. I also held his hand while he was dying, and didn't let go until 2 hours after he died. I don't care how cheesy it is - we loved each other.

We're currently sat quite happily on separate sofas watching Netflix

No physical affection, no talking in public, and now you’ve bought yourself separate sofas so you don’t have to sit next to each other? OP this sounds more like a room mate situation than a marriage. If it works for you then great, but don’t make out that the rest of us are the ones with the problem.

I am with you OP. But then any mention of being in a relationship makes me want to vom. I'm a bit damaged and bitter

That's beautiful, @AndNoneForGretchenWieners.

No... I love that my new man holds my hand

My aunt and uncle are both in their early 90’s. they’ve been together since they were teenagers. I took them out for lunch last weekend and they held hands on the way in and out of the restaurant. Lovely, not “cheesy”.

I hold hands with my dad my mum my adult daughter and sometimes with my best friend #nofucksgiven

I held my mum’s hand when she was dying.

I find a hand hold rather soothing when I feel down or anxious, more so than a hug because it’s subtler. YABU.

OP is not referring to dying relatives -just Escape to the Country.

I haven't seen Escape to the Country since that posh woman Catherine was on it.

She may still be on it

Even though I think the OP is BU, holding hands when someone is dying is not what she's talking about. That's a very different situation.

Holding hands with someone who is visually impaired is also not what she's talking about.

Who made you the judge of the ways to show affection?

The AIBU topic.

What?

The OP was asking for confirmation that holding hands is "cheesy".

You said that there are better ways to show affection - as if there was a universal standard that applies to everyone.

You both sound like a barrel of laughs.

Maybe OP doesn't have someone in her life who wants to hold her hand......possibly slightly jealous of us lucky ones that do.....but with her attitude I am not surprised lol

Yet you would choose to make someone potentially lonely feel shit. Nice.

Face it, OP... he's just not that into you.

We're hand holders here. Never considered what other people would think, because they're not my concern. Bizarre thing to get your knickers in a twist about.

Oh bite me OP. It's cute! And comforting.

Although if we are officially writing off handholding as a way to show public affection, can I suggest replacing it with piggybacks?

Oh ok Op, you were raised in a family that viewed hand holding as childish and not something grown ups did

I didn't say anything of the kind

@TalkinAboutManetManet That is actually adorable ... I love it