To be shocked how much "ordinary" people spend on grooming?

[Daygals]

Let's start by explaining that by ordinary, I mean people on average incomes living not unusual lives. What is normal might also be regional, I live in a world of fake tans and long fake lashes.

I am shockingly low maintenance but I thought I might make a bit of an effort for a special occasion and have my brows tidied and nails done, so I looked up some salons and price lists and this is where my shock comes from.

I had no idea these things are so expensive. The list I'm looking at is a fairly basis salon, nothing upmarket and includes things lots of people I know would consider "need" doing on a regular basis.

The prices are probably fair from the point of view of the therapist's time but I can't imagine spending this on myself on a regualar basis.

Eye lashes £40
HD Brows £20
Gel Nails £30
Pedicure £20
Hair cut £40
Hair colour £80

That's before waxing and and more luxury treatments like facials or anti-aging stuff.

I don't know how often it all needs doing (monthly?) but I know lots of people who are always "done" like this I can't fathom how it's even possible/

If you think it’s just about adverts you’re very naive.

I get my eyebrows tidied up every 6 weeks or so which costs me £6.50 and have my hair cut twice a year for about £30. I do paint my nails often though, wash dry and straighten my hair every day and wear make up so i make the effort, I just don’t spend a lot of money doing it.

I dont want to spend my life getting ready. I want to be out enjoying myself
I like this

Do whatever you want with your money, people. But remember that most men feel that their faces and nails etc are perfectly okay the way they are. And I personally think that most people look worse with make up on.

Writersblock, yes, but it's not a "western thing"

Go East and find the addition of skin bleaching, and equally tough beauty standards as we have here...for women

Men "just" have to be tall and rich, and nicely muscular, and not bold, so they don't hAve it easy either

It's the human condition....

writersblock how in any of this have I given the impression I think its only about adverts? I've said that adverts HAVE a massive negative effect on people's self-esteem (particularly teenagers)...I haven't at any point said they are the only thing impacting self-esteem.

But yeah...lets all just keep funding companies to make our kids lives shit...its our money after all!

It's just about priorities, really. I pay a lot for a good cut and colour, and have expensive make-up but I don't spend money on anything like manicures or filler or spray tan. I was brought up with a low maintenance mother on a low income, and I suppose spending lots on my appearance has always seemed very self-indulgent to me because of her attitude to it.

I do have a high income now but I fritter my disposable income on books, on nice furniture and on artwork, which is equally self-indulgent in its way, and I can see why someone else would think those a complete waste of money. I have very good skin for my age but I am quite vain - maybe once I start getting wrinkles, botox will seem more of necessity than books!

Those PPs that say we have a choice - isn't the point that we (women) don't have a choice- if we groom we are doing it because society or the patriarchy has conditioned us to believe we should do, and we will look and feel better (and possibly be more attractive to men too I suppose).

Why is that so hard to understand? Surely it wouldn't even cross our minds to poor hot wax all over our genitals unless someone else has made us think that's a good idea? All the bollocks about it being cleaner are just that...

That said, I groom: My hair is cut, my feet are pedicured, my foof is waxed, my eyebrows are threaded. I spend more than I should on lipstick.

I spend a lot less than other women because I cba to sit in a salon - I don't find it relaxing and I have limited funds which I'd rather spend on cocktails or holidays.

anna I think that's true. In order to NOT be influenced by all the adverts and societal pressure you would need to be verging on sociopathic. You have to really genuinely not care about what other people expect or what counts as 'normal' behaviour.

I think people often confuse being told they are swayed or overwhelmed by peer pressure for a bad thing. Its not. Its the way we have evolved and being utterly unresponsive to peer pressure is worse than being swept up by it!

But we also do have brains capable of at least perceiving the argument that our behaviour is peer driven, even if it can't win a battle with the desire to 'fit in'.

If we can use this to take even baby steps towards making society a less pressurized environment for our children then that would be fantastic.

Of course social media has done the exact opposite. Now you can be personally judged by someone living on the other side of the planet at the touch of a button...

The problem with these threads is they always assume all grooming is a sign of female sexual oppression. But if you look back historically, from Egypt to Mesopotamia, Persians, Spartans, Germanic Tribes they often had very complex relationships with hair, body hair, make up, being perfumes etc. Egyptian men put gold powder in their beards, the Spartans were rumoured to wax with oil, massai tribes have profound relationships with hair and shaving - it symbolises manhood and status and if you look at British history - it was men (upper class) who wore heels... they wore as much make up as women.

If you've read Emma Dabiri Don't touch my hair - in many west African societies their relationship with hair grooming is a huge part of their self identify and family bonding, they can spend hours. Would you call that shallow and ridiculous?

Self expression is a very valid and key part of being human. I like having colourful nails not because they are "sexual" but because I love having the splash of colour.

Im not saying we aren't victims of advertising encouraging us to look a certain way but this isn't new!

@NEtoN10 definitely. I have holographic nails which make me grin every time I see them
My Botox was because I was sick of looking in the mirror and seeing a pain line on my face. It wasn't ageing, it was what 5 months of severe, uncontrolled pain had done to my forehead. The pain had gone and I wanted the line gone

Surely it wouldn't even cross our minds to poor hot wax all over our genitals unless someone else has made us think that's a good idea? All the bollocks about it being cleaner are just that...

except...

Male sportsmen - cyclist for example - shave their hair (or wax, I have no idea what the prefer).

Women with heavy periods find it much cleaner to have as less hair as possible down there. At least some do.

Women shave their armpits because otherwise they smell a lot worst. At least some of them do.

Not everything is about the patriarchy.

Of course we follow our culture and the current fashion, it will always be a part of it, but let's not pretend all women who like to spend money on grooming are poor victims trying to reach an unattainable image imposed by the patriarchy.

I think you're wrong actually. Why do women shave their legs? I don't need to be aerodynamic. And if armpit hair is about smelling, why don't men shave? Why's it ok for men to smell? (if you agree that a hairy pit means you're more likely to smell - I don't agree, washing and deoderant is fine generally)

we're not poor victims, but I think of course we (women) are a product of our society, fashion, and what men tell us is ok. It's perpetuated then by instagram, our peer groups, tv and film.

I think you're wrong actually.

of course I am not wrong.
Part of what we do is cultural and fashion, but part of it is just personal preference.

Both men and women get their eyebrows done - not all women, not all men, but of all the ones who do, it's about 50/50. Women are just the only ones painting or colouring theirs.

we (women) are a product of our society, fashion, and what men tell us is ok
the ones most likely to judge and criticise (let alone notice) are women, not men! Let's not pretend everything we do is because of men, that's utter bollocks.

If nothing else, read all the various studies when the ideal for women left the men absolutely puzzled and not that impressed by the fashion make up and choices made.

I like to look and feel good but am by no means high maintenance.

I have my hair cut and coloured every 2-3 months by a mobile hairdresser.

My eyebrows tinted and threaded hair once a month.

I have learnt to do a basic manicure and pedicure and paint my own nails with no UV gel polish.

I put a face pack and hair masque on a couple of times a week at home. A hot bath and a bit of a pamper makes me feel lovely.

Don't wax, just shave a couple of times a week.

Only ever have false lashes and nails on special occasions.

earl well I agree its a bit of both...but like 90% societal pressure and 10% personal preference.

Probably worse if you are a teenager....

Also for the record, hairy pits are infinitely superior from a smell perspective. The whole evolutionary point of armpit hair is to wick out the moisture that will otherwise feed the stink producing bugs.

The consmetics industry must regularly cream themselves over the armpit situation...first they sell you the lie that your body hair is ugly and unattractive and truly successful people are so naturally hairless that they don't even show hair in adverts...people shave already perfectly smooth skin! Then they sell you razors that as well as cutting hair damage your skin...so they can sell you shaving foams, gels and skin soothing balms...then having reduced your choice from hairy or not, to how do you prefer to shave...they can start selling you hundred quid machines to improve your shaving experience, and hair dissolving solutions (fuck knows what they do to your skin after 30 year of use - I guess we will start finding out soon). Finally because you removed all your hair you are now sweating a lot more and developing bacterial infestation in your pits...well what can they do about that? Oh yes, sell you a massive range of deodorants, anti-perspirants, antimicrobial sprays and fuck know what else these days....

The only think likely to supplant this bit of marketing genius is the scented tampons...similarly they have a great capacity to a) solve a problem that doesn't fucking exist in the first place b) create a whole swathe of additional problems that you can then sell people the fixes too.

I suppose one day they might come up with an eyeball cleaning system that similarly cleans up dirty horrible eyeballs, while actually putting them at greater risk of infection and actual problems...in fact I might patent that just in case....