To be shocked how much "ordinary" people spend on grooming?

[Daygals]

Let's start by explaining that by ordinary, I mean people on average incomes living not unusual lives. What is normal might also be regional, I live in a world of fake tans and long fake lashes.

I am shockingly low maintenance but I thought I might make a bit of an effort for a special occasion and have my brows tidied and nails done, so I looked up some salons and price lists and this is where my shock comes from.

I had no idea these things are so expensive. The list I'm looking at is a fairly basis salon, nothing upmarket and includes things lots of people I know would consider "need" doing on a regular basis.

The prices are probably fair from the point of view of the therapist's time but I can't imagine spending this on myself on a regualar basis.

Eye lashes £40
HD Brows £20
Gel Nails £30
Pedicure £20
Hair cut £40
Hair colour £80

That's before waxing and and more luxury treatments like facials or anti-aging stuff.

I don't know how often it all needs doing (monthly?) but I know lots of people who are always "done" like this I can't fathom how it's even possible/

I have everything done from head to toe and I spend an obscene amount of money on make-up and skincare. Why? Because I like to look good and I like feeling pretty and attractive.

I like my home to look pretty too, so I also spend a fortune on interiors. I can do this because I have a high-paying job, a DH with a high-paying job and no DC. I recognize that I am very privileged.

I had cancer several years ago and I felt and looked like a bag of spanners. I'm not sure whether I upped my grooming regime afterwards as a direct result of feeling and looking like shite and not being able to do anything about it, but I can safely say that I much prefer the way I look when I am groomed to the gills.

DH on the other hand couldn't give a toss whether I am glammed up, or covered in dog and cat hair wearing ancient Primark pjs.

The whole debate is fascinating, but advertising has always been here and the beauty business is worth zillions , so I doubt much will ever change. They want to sell their products and some of us fall for it.
I suppose I was 'conditioned ' by advertising to shave my legs/ pits etc, but I also like hair free legs and I don't care if others don't. I wouldn't call anyone out on it as it's not my business.
I'm fact, i would admire them to be honest as there is a pressure to look good ( esp the young) and be hair free.
It is a vicious circle!

I'm very low maintenance, my horse on the other hand is not

I always like the idea of getting lots of stuff done at a salon to look good, but in reality I don't really like people touching me and I find it all a bit awkward. I don't do fake tans, I quite like being pale. I do my own nails and feet at home. I tint my own eyebrows now I'm getting a bit of grey in there, when I've had it done at a salon they always look too reddish coloured and wrong. I like to mix 2 tints to get a nice Ash brown that looks more natural. Costs me maybe £10 a year.

I go a couple of times a year to get my eyebrows threaded into a nice shape and maintain them myself with tweezers until the shape starts to not look as good then I go back. Same with hair, I get it cut a couple of times a year and trim it myself in between. I dye my own hair.

I spend a bit on skin care, maybe £60-£70 a month, £23 of that is prescription tretinoin to treat menopausal acne and try and reduce old teenage acne scarring (atrophic so showing up more as collagen production decreases, I'm 43 now) . It's looking worse as I get older and is not as easy to cover with makeup any more. I'm considering maybe getting some peels and microneedling treatments to reduce them a bit. I don't see myself as high maintenance at all.

Ok I'm a bit tired so this may sound like absolute bollocks, but I've come up with an analogy. It only works for me and women like me.

There's a car coming straight at you. The car is negative judgement about your appearance (the accusation of being ugly/scruffy/having let yourself go, etc)

Some women spend time and money building a bridge over themselves for the car to go over, to avoid being run over.

What I try to do instead, is let myself step aside out of the path of the car. This means refusing to agree with the concept of the 'car', that is, refuse to feel judged on how I look.

IT's really hard and I don't fully manage it, but that's my aim. When I look in the mirror, see the flaws, and still love myself, that's when I feel good

Well I like it, so no doubt everyone else on the thread won't.....

£23 of that is prescription tretinoin to treat menopausal acne and try and reduce old teenage acne scarring

Are you in the UK? If you need regular prescriptions you can get a prepay card for £10 a month that gives you as many prescriptions as you need. No-one needs to pay more than that amount for prescription medicine.

I'm only awarding myself 4/10 for that analogy 'could do better'

I get my brows threaded at Superdrug every 3 weeks. And box dye for my hair once a month. I solved the whole waxing thing by investing in a Phillips Lumea a couple of years ago. I hate hair salons and mirrors in them so never go to salons.

I love myself with or without makeup, nails or hair. I just like doing it.

If you’ve got the cash why not?
I have haircut n roots touched up every 6 weeks which costs approx £400 a year
Nails every 3 weeks approx £350
I have eyebrow wax n eyelash dye 3-4 times a year so approx £60
I don’t wear make up, use expensive skin care routines etc so think I’m fairly low maintenance
On the other hand I spend a fortune on fashion, accessories and jewellery

I am in the UK, but you can only get tretinoin with clindamycin on the nhs, and I really don't fancy using antibiotics long term. I'm happy enough paying my £20 + postage to dermatica, it really has done wonders for my skin so far so I feel like it's worthwhile

poppa the research I've seen is specifically for cosmetics products. I think almost all advertising is using sex/beauty to sell, so there isn't as big a differential as there could be, but cosmetics are the absolute worse for clobbering self-esteem.

This honestly isn't an accident - they are selling a product that relies on people not realising they don't need to alter their appearance to be successful or liked.

What really fucking sickens me is when they wrap their toxic message up in sentiment that says the exact opposite. Like those Dove adverts that were supposedly feminist, but were actually still just a barrage of 'whatever you do make sure you are focussing completely on how you and your friends think you look' or anything with the phrase 'because your worth it' in it.

I don't know if anyone has seen the break down of formula adverts and how they manage to use the phrase 'breast milk is best' to embed exactly the opposite message but its very much the same deal here.

Btw my kid is just fine. She's 8 and hasn't really noticed that people come in different bodies. We don't watch TV or anything with adverts in so I'm hoping to keep her exposure as low as possible through this critical time.

Its hugely unfair to push the burden of dealing with mental health issues created by corporations chasing profit onto literally millions of individual parents.

All we have to do is leave the lipstick/hair dye/foundation/anti-wrinkle serum on the shelf. Show them we actually are worth more than our physical appearance.

It's so much easier said than done though M3lon. Literally this minute I'm looking up about adult braces

I'm reading this feeling a bit guilty because I probably should be better groomed than I am. I get my hair cut maybe three times a year at £40 a pop and that's it. I should go more often really but I just don't have time! I can't imagine having time for more appointments. I have plenty of disposable income (that I don't have time to spend). My daily make up routine consists of mascara and eyebrow pencil and that's all I bother with. But now I'm approaching 40 and I'm conscious I should probably do more. But I have a full on job and quite a few hobbies that take away from my time with the kids - tomorrow I am out literally all day for two hobby things and I'm feeling really guilty for abandoning DH with the kids all day. I also go to the gym a couple of times a week. I can't find any more time in the day. My eyebrows are really bushy but I have no idea what I could get done to them or where. Luckily as I'm blonde my eyebrows are basically invisible unless I put eyebrow pencil on, so I just draw them on every morning. I'm sure getting them done would make me more groomed though. I did get a pedicure last summer and my nails looked amazing - might have to do that again before I go away this summer. I hate having stuff done to me though and always feel uncomfortable. Do you have to cut your toenails before you go??

That was a bit of a stream of consciousness, sorry!

Yes - I know someone who once told me it has taken her 18 months to re-educate her brain into not finding her armpit hair disgusting.

Its so very sad when people find any part of themselves actually disgusting.

At least one women in my work place wears sleeveless tops with hair poking out of the armpits. Its taken a while for me not to be surprised by that!

I realised I genuinely wasn't bothered that my fluffy legs were out at badminton last week. Nobody commented...who knows if they noticed...slowly slowly we normalise natural female bodies.

wincher or you could go the other way....its obvious the effort you are making isn't for you, but something you feel you should do.

So how about you don't?

I get my hair cut 6ish months.. or when Less often if I don't feel like it which is about 45.

My partner and I got into some money and I booked a few appointments but when I realized if I start I'm gonna have to keep it up and I just cant be arsed to so I treated myself to a Fitbit and a new phone which was really needed instead..

I spent about 60 every 3 months I think on no7 products (face wash/cleanser/makeup and such), I like spending it all at once lol so I tend to save the money per month and get it all at once which makes me feel good. I tend to also get some make up done every so often (before a date or something at boots with no7).

I pluck my own eyebrows, I have nicely shaped eyebrows of my own (whenever I get a make over done for free somewhere they tend to always comment on my greatly naturally shaped eyebrows and ask me if I had them done), I don't get waxed I just shave everything myself.. occasionally I get my nails done but never fake nails..

M3lon - you're not wrong, but I think your approach is. I’d wager most women on this thread who spend money on this stuff, myself included, are caught up within society’s expectations about appearance. Some women may not spend the money on professional treatments but I’d wager there are very few women in western society who don’t conform to some degree to this. Why? Because we are raised on it, practically from the moment we are born. Our identity is wrapped up in our appearance, and also to youth. Why? Because that’s our culture. Most of us know it’s toxic but we all want to feel we belong, that we are worth something, so to a greater or lesser extent we conform.

If you want to help break this cycle, educate, talk about it, campaign. Don’t have a go at the women who were once young girls like your daughter(s). We are all doing the best we can.

Great post Writersblock

People are getting ripped off as far as I can see. I spend 15 on a haircut twice a year. I look after myself. I am fit and not overweight. Wear make up occasionally. Paint my own toe nails and thats it. If i had more money i wd get gel nails. Cant be bothered with the eyebrows etc. I dont want to spend my life getting ready. I want to be out enjoying myself

If people put as much effort into actually doing something as they put into policing the message, things might actually change.

I'm sorry you don't think I'm going about it the right way. I'm also mystified as to why everyone thinks my primary concern is my own daughters mental health.

She fine! Honestly. She's 8 and she doesn't watch adverts.

I'm actually worried about the 33% of teenagers who are very VERY far from fine. And unlike some on here I don't blame their parents....

It's their money and their choice. Why would it bother you?

Personally I just enjoy making myself look pretty so that I like what I see in the mirror.

I like things to look good therefore it follows that I want to look good.

Maybe I'm vain but I don't care, you only live once!

I consider myself quite well groomed, but that amounts to having a £60 hair cut/color every couple of months, doing nails and hair removal at home and leaving my fairly decent eyebrows reasonably well alone I do think it's pretty insane what some women do to themselves!