I do nothing all day at work and it’s draining the life and soul out of me

[ZombieWorker]

Hi all. Posting here for traffic. This will be long so I apologise. The TLDR is the title.

I graduated 7 years ago and this is my third job since then.

My first job I did nothing. I didn’t mind because I was a young graduate on a big team of people my age, and spent the day talking on the instant messager and having long lunches. When I left I said to my boyfriend (now DH) ‘finally, the real work begins’.

My second job I did a little more, but still vast amounts of nothing- think 1-2 days of work a week max. I was in a corner with my PC facing the wall behind me, and wasn’t being overlooked, so I used my downtime to write a book and do some online courses- learnt a bit of coding, French and some advanced Excel. This suited me very well, but I was still chomping at the bit to leave by the end, as the monotomy of doing nothing for 5 years was really starting to build up.

My third job I started 18 months ago. I was over the moon to get it, and AGAIN said to DH ‘it will be nice to finally start doing real work’. The first 8 weeks were a whirlwind of being taught things, but after that I was told ‘we work responsively’ and ‘you’ll be trained ad hoc as and when things show up’. Clearly, they don’t show up much- I am less busy than I was at job 2.

I’ve mentioned this before in other mumsnet chats before and the answers are always ‘talk to your boss, create your own work, get a new job, fill your day with other things’. So to address those points;

I have talked to my boss many times, always asking for things to do, and about two weeks ago it came to a head as I was nearly in tears telling her that I feel useless, that I don’t know anything more than when I started. He seems to be trying to address it and has mentioned more training, but nothing has materialised yet. I suppose it might over the next few weeks, but I can’t be confident, and it doesn’t help where I am now.

I’ve created so much work at this stage that I keep getting commended for my efforts- why nobody can see this is happening because I have NOTHING ELSE TO DO I have no idea. I’ve gone back through old folders and tidied them up, created new projects to work on, created filing systems, procedural documents- it all gets me through a few days then it’s done and I have nothing to do. I am at the point where I can’t think of a single thing to do myself. I spend a lot of time filing my emails, of which I came in this morning to a grand total of zero, triggering this post.

I could of course get a new job, this seems the logical solution, but this one is very close to my home, with a walking commute. It’s also a good wage, and I have a mortgage to pay. I like my boss, even if nobody is overly friendly here. I don’t know how I could find anything on this wage nearby. Plus, this is my third job that has been like this, so I have no faith jumping ship would leave me in a different spot.

Filling my day with other things is how I have spent my entire career to this point. This worked brilliantly at previous jobs, but I am very overlooked here and don’t feel it’s possible. We are all sat very close together in an open plan. I can listen to podcasts, and get through hours of them a day, but that still leaves me the issue of what to do with my hands. Yesterday I genuinely stared at a blank excel page for about an hour. It’s soul destroying.

My DH tries to help but what can he do. He gets upset with seeing how drained I am on coming home, and how miserable I am getting ready in the morning. He has been looking for jobs for me and sends me links but it doesn’t help that he has no idea what I do, what I’m qualified for- all the links he sends me are either not enough money or vastly past my knowledge grade. I work in a very niche area of planning regulation which I kind of stumbled into, and have no idea what my transferable skills are.

I feel stuck and it’s affecting my quality of life. I’ve gained two stone as I buy large quantities of food on my lunch to eat all afternoon. I know this is boredom but I can’t stop myself- I’m working on this now as I know a bad diet will be effecting my mental health too. I feel like a zombie trudging through the same routine every day, eating to give myself comfort, and it’s shameful. I’m at breaking point here and am really hoping somebody can magic up the answer. Thanks for reading this far.

How strange, I'm currently in the midst of reading "Bullshit Jobs" by David Graeber, and this thread comes up as the perfect example!

I think you should read it, OP. It may help you to understand why you feel this way, throw some reflection on your own situation, and it may help you to move forward.

I have no more practical advice to add, but just want to say that I'm 50% sympathetic for you, because it must be awful to feel as though you are "useless". On the other hand, I'm a secondary school teacher, and am 50% amazed that jobs exist where you could have SO MUCH DOWNTIME during the working day. Most of the time, I feel as though I need to work a 10-12 hour day and mark all night just to stay afloat.

(I think if I were you, I would read books all day.)

Gosh I'd love this, being paid to basically do nothing. For most people it's the reverse, they are vastly underpaid and expected to do a huge amount. But if your not happy then you need to leave, and if you think they are all going to be the same you need to retrain into another work area

Thanks for all the messages- I came back from lunch to a piece of work in my inbox so have been busy. I know! I’m as surprised as you are!

@LimitIsUp yes the pay drop would be excessive, the key thing keeping me here is the mortgage. I did enjoy my Law degree, and I would quite enjoy a more legal focused job, but without being an actual lawyer its hard to do that without a pay cut. I take your point about being a procrastinating wuss though, guilty as charged. I may buy the ‘what colour is your parachute’ book and try and get a feel for what I could train as. My dream job would probably be the beauty department at a magazine but that feels very much like a romcom job that real people can’t do, especially with no training or background.

@FieldsOfWheat as a kid I wanted to be a Doctor, but I’m no good at science or biology. Mid teens I decided I wanted to be….a lawyer. Hence the law degree. But mid degree I realised it was too emotionally draining to be a lawyer, so went for regulation instead. And here I am! I will definitely look into more courses though.

@amusedbush I will take a gander at the legal and compliance roles in higher education, thanks.

@bigKiteFlying I do courses on the OU, but wouldn’t know what actual degree to do- also this issue of being overlooked.

@theWarOnPeace this one gave me pause, I must say. I am sure there are ways I could make it work for me if I was a bit more ballsy about doing online training. I think at this stage I have nothing else to lose. Your point about not wasting away for them is really key for me. I will muse on this more, thanks.

@Cotswoldpuppy it really can be. I love this ideas, thank you- especially the one about looking at minutes. There’s a future goals section on the intranet, I’ll have a look there- my boss also always asks me to think of job objectives so I’ve basically been given free reign there. I will do this. Thank you.

@SunniDay I love this idea. It doesn’t hurt to ask, as you say. I’ll look into a degree that might help me and see what they say- our recent gender gap results were very poor, so we’ve pretty much been told we’ll get anything we ask for. So I should be asking. I’ll have a look tonight, thanks.

@roundtable this is my DS’s theory too. I’m a very organised person and used to polishing off my work quickly so you may well be right. In terms of volunteering, I looked into being a magistrate for a while but they closed our local court- I’ll have another look though, thanks.

@Hollycatberry I read the bullshit jobs articles, as soon as I heard the title I thought ‘that’s me!’ and it totally is. I may buy the book.

@transformandriseup sorry to hear this, that’s soul destroying in a totally different way. I often which situation I would prefer and the truth is I have no idea. Grass is always greener I guess.

@HotChocolateLover if I could take long lunches and not show up I would! But what I really want is a motivational, inspiring job that makes me not want to do that. Not sure what it would be!

@mindproject I quite enjoyed it 7 years ago, but the novelty has long since worn off!

@SnowyAlpsandPeaks ridiculous. Luckily they are open to WFH here but I’ve always shied away from it as I like the office environment. Might need to rethink.

@fatcatshavemorefun yes I think I will look into this, reading PDF’s makes me nervous but worth a go. The reason I spent so long doing the excel course is that excel always looks work related!

@septembersunshine touch typing has gone on the list! Thanks

@RoseWaiting I am private sector. This is not public sector specific it seems.

@Lefields applying for other roles seems to be the key advice here. I’ll certainly look into it. I’m glad you got out!

@Oliversmumsarmy that’s a horrible story. Your poor DH. Can he go into sales now? I temped at a BMW garage once and their top sales man had been there less than a year after leaving the tech industry. In terms of my situation though, I did an aptitude test in sixth form- it suggested law. Go figure! I like your DD’s thinking. I do tend to interview well. I’ll start widening my scope, what have I got to lose.

@Passthecherrycoke I am exactly the same- tired all the time for no reason. How can you be tired after doing nothing all day? It’s all mental. I also feel crap about myself too. I hate how it’s leaked into my whole life.

@onemouseplace yes, this exactly. My work ethic has taken a massive dive and I hate it.

@MagpieWife good spot! Private sector indeed! I’ve been quite subtle about it. I’ve not read the book no, but read a lot of articles about it- it’s very much me! I’ve just ordered the kindle edition, thanks. Good luck on your MBA!

@Pikapikachooo I think that’s key, the big companies kind of forget you. Have to object to ‘hiding’ though- I’m not hiding, I’m trying desperately to be more relevant!

@Happynow001 yes, I suppose that’s possible. Someone left in our Germany team 6 months ago, I emailed the big boss offering to take on any of his work as a result of that but never heard back. I can keep trying though.

@kikibo it is, embarrassing too really. I like you thinking, but I would feel bad threatening my manager- they really are trying to help, I think. If nothing changes in the next 8 weeks or so I may start making my worklessness more obvious!

@Mumserian not good with kids sadly, but I agree- a lot of close friends are teachers and I swear they never stop.

@Totur yes, this is the genral consensus. New job. Scary but necessary I think.

@MauritiusDreaming yes, the maternity package is a point for me too! Will start TTC in the next year. I also thought this was my forever job and have also started using the stairs a lot. Are you me?! Haha

@LordBuckley left pharma to come here! Haha. Will look into some recruiters though, thanks.

@SachaStark have just ordered it on previous recommendations and will start it tonight, thanks. I’ll take your 50% sympathy, that’s good enough for me!

@Daydreamer34 yes I’m aware of this, sometimes I think it seems a bad thing to complain about. All I’ll say is until you’ve lived it you don’t know how soul destroying it can be.

What you need to do is list your skill set. What skills are needed in your role(S)? Then match those to other industries. Legal compliance will be needed in lots of places eg drug companies, HE, ethics. It's a good part of a policy officer job, and some larger manufacturers.

You can always easily learn the "where". (sector) if you know the "what" (skill). Obviously not all employers see it this way, but some do.

Have read a lot (not all!) the replies here and both my industry and my exact job role have been mentioned as suggestions for you to move into as they are "always busy"... so just a warning to be a bit cautious with recommendations because I'm in exactly the same position as you!
I am also not leaving at the moment because of job stability for maternity rights (plan to start TTC next year) and mortgage etc... everything that sounds more interesting that my current job would be a massive paycut

Meant to add: I am also private sector and always have been for every non-job I've had!

Sorry don't mean to hijack the thread! I saw David graeber (author of the bullshit jobs article and then book) at a talk a few years ago, plugging the book... the talk was highly entertaining but his methodology left much to be desired (I thought) and there are some interesting reviews/take downs of the book online on various blogs etc (which I have indeed read while in the office, obv)

Could you approach boss about doing a distance learning masters? You could then do it during work time.

I'm in a similar position to you OP. I have 2 busy weeks followed by 2 dead weeks each month. Pay and benefits are too good for me to voluntarily leave until I have paid off more of my mortgage.

I recommend Project Gutenberg - free online books. You can copy into an excel spreadsheet/email/word if you need to look like you're working.

Laughable the (wrong) assumption that this is a public sector job!

Going through local authority restructures at the minute.

With a little slim down of duties - 60% cut in staffing, removal of leader roles with jobs regraded ( £5,000 pay cut for a senior leader), new terms and conditions including a clause to prevent independent working for a year after leaving the public sector job, very little professional development ( due to lack of funding), trading targets to meet ( when schools as the customer have deficit budgets too), cuts to travel expenses ( tho due to policy I already pay over half of the fuel costs to do my job).

Not the gilded life everyone assumes

Another suggestion-how about 3 days in this role and 2 in consultancy?

I can't believe how many people were still banging on about the public sector after the op repeatedly clarified (not including those just giving their own experiences, the ones whingeing about their taxes). Have any come back to apologise?
That's what's wrong with workers in the private sector - can't ever admit to being wrong.

OP. I’m in a similar industry but to the side. Things which spring to mind.

Get yourself up to speed with the new NEC 4 contractural changes coming next year. You’ll be one step ahead of others and it’s a very good,
Construction wide piece of knowledge which is a highly transferrable skill to have.

Then ask to go out with others. Surveys, ride outs, site visits, cross training. It’ll break your weeks up, give you different human interaction and development.

My first management job was like this. Apart from a performance report once a day and team one to ones once a week, you did nothing but fire fight. And some days there were no fires. I planned house moves, my wedding and all sorts during that role. Couldn't even tell you how many games of Candy Crush and series on Netflix I got through. It was well known it was an easy (and an extremely well paid role) - and the jobs were very competitive.

In my current role, I'm very quiet. It's an admin role in my IL's family business. I'm open about how quiet I am, and have reduced my hours and my salary to suit it. I feel bad on them that people have managed to maintain this as a full time role for years. It genuinely doesn't warrant it but no one has said anything before.
I'm studying for a professional qualification while it's quiet, and dip in and out of PA work and bits and pieces for other departments - which has left other people seething. The truth is, if they'd either been more efficient or more honest about their workload, they'd get to do more interesting things.

spent the last 40 plus years not having enough time to do my job....i would love a job where there is nothing to do and get paid for it!

StealthPolarBear too right. This thread is an excellent example of confirmation bias. And why people should RTFT.

I think you need to a) look for another job and b) in the meantime get really really creative about how you can do something productive with your time while being overlooked. I think this is a totally ethical thing to do as long as you're sure you've done everything you can to do the tasks that your job requires. If you've done your tasks, asked for more tasks and not got them yet, and can't make any of your own accord, there's nothing ethically better about doing nothing than there is about doing something fruitful/enjoyable. I had this once in a call centre job. I was at uni and between calls there was no paperwork for me to do, nothing else, so I read old novels on the internet, on project gutenberg. That was great! Sounds like you're doing some of this already, but it's a matter of now having something to do that also looks relevant.

Is there something you can do that relates to your field, and could add value to your current company, and also help get you a job elsewhere? If it's about planning, maybe, for instance, researching how some of the same planning issues get dealt with in other cultures/countries, or if there are any good new strategies/research papers that you can tuck into your skill set?

But don't be bored! If you've done your work, there's no reason to sit there and waste your life!

also, brainwave apols if someone's said this. Another way around the 'overlooked' thing be really upfront about what your time filling activity will be. Have a meeting with your boss and suggest three things that you propose to do between tasks that you think will add value to you and the team, and get their blessing to do this work/study. Unless you think they will say - no, better to stare at the blank screen? Hopefully not!!

These jobs exist, and whilst it sounds great, I found it hard! I worked for a management consultancy where everyone guarded their work and clients, and us, the department of research analysts had nothing to do.

I was recruited as the research manager had done so well pretending she had too much work, they hired extra staff (me)

She then guarded what little work she had, and did not allow me to offer help to others as it would advertise to others we did nothing.

My colleagues and I made a replica of the golden gate bridge out of paperclips between our desks, we also had long lunches every day, sometimes coming back to the office just to get our coats....

It was so boring and despite the great salary I only lasted a year

Also have a law degree, employers love a law degree

Am now in software! Always lots to do, which is more fufun

Honestly, the easiest move might be into a planning role in the public sector. We're massively understaffed and there's always too much to do. There are usually good maternity benefits and flexible working.

I have no idea whether the stories of public sector workers having nothing to do are out of date or only apply to particular organisations, but it's the opposite of my experience. It is hard to sack lazy people, but that's a whole different rant.

*It makes me cross that so many public sector workers are being paid for doing very little out of our taxes.

That doesn't really help though OP. Look for a job in the private sector.*

@DonkeyHohtay She IS working in the private sector, put your biases aside and read the whole thread for God's sake.

I sympathise OP., not having a purpose is soul destroying.

A couple of thoughts (and sorry if they've already been suggested as haven't read the whole thread.
If you want to stay:
Can you identify where you want your career to go - are there people higher up you can approach for career advice and find out if this is normal for your industry? Is there career progression at this company?
Can you start anything that will help with your career - like a blog, LinkedIn articles, contribute to professional publications?
Could you do an MA or next step qualification?
Can you start a side hustle - matched betting, crypto currency, create another job that makes you money that you just happen to do at their desk whilst being available to them at all times?
Does you company have any community outreach so you could get out for a few hours - mine used to have a scheme where we went and read with kids at the local school once a week.
Can you exercise or go the gym at lunch-time.
If you combine ideas like this can you come up with a scenario where you don't dread going in? If not then you've got to get out!

Could you use your French to do some freelance translation work?

It does sound soul destroying. I'd be putting my cards on the table with your boss and explaining that lack of work is affecting your mental health. Book a weeks annual leave asap and say when you come back you need a job plan that is going to keep you busy and feel at least somewhat meaningful.

OP - have you thought about becoming a planning consultant? Or property developer? Knowledge of planning regulation is like gold dust and can make a lot of money... I’d be planning to set up on my own if I were you.