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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I do nothing all day at work and it’s draining the life and soul out of me

209 replies

ZombieWorker · 20/06/2019 09:49

Hi all. Posting here for traffic. This will be long so I apologise. The TLDR is the title.

I graduated 7 years ago and this is my third job since then.

My first job I did nothing. I didn’t mind because I was a young graduate on a big team of people my age, and spent the day talking on the instant messager and having long lunches. When I left I said to my boyfriend (now DH) ‘finally, the real work begins’.

My second job I did a little more, but still vast amounts of nothing- think 1-2 days of work a week max. I was in a corner with my PC facing the wall behind me, and wasn’t being overlooked, so I used my downtime to write a book and do some online courses- learnt a bit of coding, French and some advanced Excel. This suited me very well, but I was still chomping at the bit to leave by the end, as the monotomy of doing nothing for 5 years was really starting to build up.

My third job I started 18 months ago. I was over the moon to get it, and AGAIN said to DH ‘it will be nice to finally start doing real work’. The first 8 weeks were a whirlwind of being taught things, but after that I was told ‘we work responsively’ and ‘you’ll be trained ad hoc as and when things show up’. Clearly, they don’t show up much- I am less busy than I was at job 2.

I’ve mentioned this before in other mumsnet chats before and the answers are always ‘talk to your boss, create your own work, get a new job, fill your day with other things’. So to address those points;

I have talked to my boss many times, always asking for things to do, and about two weeks ago it came to a head as I was nearly in tears telling her that I feel useless, that I don’t know anything more than when I started. He seems to be trying to address it and has mentioned more training, but nothing has materialised yet. I suppose it might over the next few weeks, but I can’t be confident, and it doesn’t help where I am now.

I’ve created so much work at this stage that I keep getting commended for my efforts- why nobody can see this is happening because I have NOTHING ELSE TO DO I have no idea. I’ve gone back through old folders and tidied them up, created new projects to work on, created filing systems, procedural documents- it all gets me through a few days then it’s done and I have nothing to do. I am at the point where I can’t think of a single thing to do myself. I spend a lot of time filing my emails, of which I came in this morning to a grand total of zero, triggering this post.

I could of course get a new job, this seems the logical solution, but this one is very close to my home, with a walking commute. It’s also a good wage, and I have a mortgage to pay. I like my boss, even if nobody is overly friendly here. I don’t know how I could find anything on this wage nearby. Plus, this is my third job that has been like this, so I have no faith jumping ship would leave me in a different spot.

Filling my day with other things is how I have spent my entire career to this point. This worked brilliantly at previous jobs, but I am very overlooked here and don’t feel it’s possible. We are all sat very close together in an open plan. I can listen to podcasts, and get through hours of them a day, but that still leaves me the issue of what to do with my hands. Yesterday I genuinely stared at a blank excel page for about an hour. It’s soul destroying.

My DH tries to help but what can he do. He gets upset with seeing how drained I am on coming home, and how miserable I am getting ready in the morning. He has been looking for jobs for me and sends me links but it doesn’t help that he has no idea what I do, what I’m qualified for- all the links he sends me are either not enough money or vastly past my knowledge grade. I work in a very niche area of planning regulation which I kind of stumbled into, and have no idea what my transferable skills are.

I feel stuck and it’s affecting my quality of life. I’ve gained two stone as I buy large quantities of food on my lunch to eat all afternoon. I know this is boredom but I can’t stop myself- I’m working on this now as I know a bad diet will be effecting my mental health too. I feel like a zombie trudging through the same routine every day, eating to give myself comfort, and it’s shameful. I’m at breaking point here and am really hoping somebody can magic up the answer. Thanks for reading this far.

OP posts:
Ijustwanttoretire · 20/06/2019 11:00

Until you have been in this position you can't know what it's like to have nothing to do all day every day. It is soul destroying. If it is local government then take up all the opportunities you can for training, particularly external as it gets you out of the office, some depts give volunteering days, can you 'help out' other departments (like when there are elections and stuff). Sorry I can't help more but you have my sympathy, particularly as this is the 3rd job like it. You could also try a 'privacy screen' for your laptop/computer so you can write another book without anyone being able to see what you are doing unless they are directly behind you...

Fatted · 20/06/2019 11:00

Oh God OP, you definitely need to find a different sector to work in if you're finding this problem across the board in different work places. Like others have said, can you move for public to private or vice versa.

With my very first job after uni, I realised after 9 months it wasn't the job or industry for me. I handed my notice in, started temping and was then able to make my way into a completely different line of work and I'm still here in the same organisation after 16 years.

You do need to accept its not working and it's going to take a sacrifice. Either with your salary, commute and working conditions as you move elsewhere or putting up with the monotony for the sake of the money.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 20/06/2019 11:03

Yet people with the exact same role sitting next to me bleat on all day about how busy they are.

Have mentioned this before, but used to work in a team, where workload was shared out amongst the others when you were on leave. So it would take about 30mins on your first day back to quickly scan and double check nothing had been missed, then crack on.

Not my colleague.

She would print out every single email in her inbox - including the ones which were replies to replies (so she'd have potentially dozens of pages with identical content and just the very newest email at the top). The whole stack would be old to new. She'd then put herself on "Do Not Disturb" and go through every page, usually calling the people to check the thing had been done, then finding out on the next email in her stack that of course it had, like it was agreed and planned for in the team.

It was so passive aggressive. She's probably still there I expect,. doing the same thing as Queen Bee.

straighttalker33 · 20/06/2019 11:03

@ElleDubloo You obviously can't relate so take your unhelpful comments elsewhere.

OP I feel for you, I have had 3 jobs like this. There will be a couple weeks where I'm busy but then it will just slow down again to the point I feel worthless. There is nothing worse than people around you seeming to be rushed of their feet. The fear of changing career is debilitating too, it's not just that easy to spend large amounts of money on being re-trained in something and then falling into a suitable job, I don't know what economy some people think we live in. I'm sorry I can't give any helpful advice but just know you're not alone Biscuit

ginghamtablecloths · 20/06/2019 11:03

I sympathise - I'm ill-qualified academically but had to spend all day in a job where I was bored to tears. Not enough to keep me busy and I had to 'look busy' as I sat by an open plan corridor - visitors walked by so I couldn't read a book. There's only so many times you can tidy the stationery cupboard. Others couldn't/wouldn't share tasks as they were scared of running out of work too.

I mentioned it to the boss and he didn't see that the problem was permanent - the previous woman had left for the same reason. In the end I had to find another job for my own sanity. Hope you solve this OP as it is soul destroying.

snowy0wl · 20/06/2019 11:04

OP - you mention that you have been teaching yourself coding. Is this something you would be interested in moving into? The tech industry is crying out for female coders and there are various schemes you can join to help you move into the industry.

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/06/2019 11:04

Just to say I went from data processing and filing to hard hat and steel toe capped boots and working as a developer.

Best move I ever did

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 20/06/2019 11:04

OP you don't know how lucky you are

Not a clue of the reality of "working" like OP is.

growlingbear · 20/06/2019 11:05

@ElleDubloo it's not necessarily taxpayer money is it? It could be a private company.

thenightsky · 20/06/2019 11:05

I had a job like that for a number of years - about 7 years I think. I joined the union and became a workplace rep. With away days doing training and meetings and representing members, I was kept very busy. I did my 'real' job in 2 days and spent 3 days on my union work, which was very satisfying.

MadeleineMaxwell · 20/06/2019 11:07

Honestly, if I had all that paid time, I'd be teaching myself something else. Open University, Lynda.com, another language - whatever works for you. There are also bags of free online courses to go at (quality may vary).

If you're unhappy with what your current qualifications are doing for you, then you need more/new/different ones that will take you in the direction you want to go.

HotChoc10 · 20/06/2019 11:08

I’m at a university but otherwise could have written this post. I have maybe 2-3 tasks per day but nothing takes more than about 45 minutes which leaves a lot of downtime…. However before this I worked the same job in a big international company and if anything I had less to do there so I don’t think it’s accurate that private companies are always busier.

ZombieWorker · 20/06/2019 11:09

Thanks so much for the responses, it means a lot. I’ll try and address all the points.

I am private sector, not Government, so no chance of transferring. Planning Regulation is kind of a catch all phrase for the department. I work for a big company that partially involves building fancy buildings (hotels, golf courses etc) and we ensure there are no issues with legislation, regs etc.

@Passthecherrycoke – it’s reasonably vague, as have all my job descriptions been. The phrase ‘ad hoc’ is used twice. I am interested in your point about nobody else doing anything. They certainly seem busy! My boss made mention last week of ‘asking if there’s anyone else you can help’ so I will push this point at my next catch up. I have two professional qualifications from my previous job (one in audit, one in the specific regulation) so I’ve tried that, they are both irrelevant here. Your point about being fussy about asking if the culture is dynamic is one I totally agree with. I asked them this in the interview and they assured me it was a ‘busy, fast paced environment’. Our London office calls this office ‘the morgue’.

@Outreach29 – maybe not helpful but accurate!

@Herocomplex – can’t be self employed no, I would have literally no idea what to be employed in. I am not specialised enough to consult. I will keep being frank with my boss as I have hope it will shift something. I also don’t understand why they are happy with someone doing nothing- ditto my previous jobs. It seems like a massive waste of money to me.

@WizzyBee – I fantasise about being a bike messenger! Cycling out in the fresh air all day, blissful. But no, cannot consult. I will keep bugging the manager. You have my sympathy!

@Caselgarcia – I am way too much of a pansy to work with the police. I volunteer at a soup kitchen Thursday nights and help with distribution of food bank parcels sometimes. But it doesn’t fill the hole left by my career issues sadly.

@VivienneHolt- no idea really if it’s industry specific, my previous experience suggests yes but people seem busy. I could speak to a recruiter, I’ll look into that. I get a lot of emails on linkedin but they are all London based (which I would hate) or not as much money.

@Lastbustowhitehawk – I do worry about this. I’m a pretty positive person but this has drained me and I hate it. I have no idea what I would retrain in though, and how I would earn in the meantime.

@RosaWaiting – not Government no, big name private sector. I did enjoy doing nothing in my first job after the stress at Uni, but I didn’t think I would still be doing it 7 years later! It’s a whole different kind of draining than stress!

@CSIblonde – I like this idea, but I have no idea which dept to target. I think it’s something I’ll direct my energy towards for a while and see what happens- my office is lots of little teams doing different things so it’s possible.

@Idontwanttotalk – tedium is correct. The lack of sense of achievement is exactly what kills me. I feel like I’ve not grown or achieved anything since my degree. I would take a pay cut to a certain extent to start something fulfilling but I don’t know what that would be, and as I mentioned, there’s a mortgage to think about.

@MinisterforCheekyFuckery - I too find it weird that multiple people have suggested nursing! I got terrible biology results and can be impatient so would have a terrible bedside manner. I would also need a totally different degree, as mentioned. I would also utterly hate to do that job. Also, my mother is a nurse and works insanely hard- I think it would totally devalue her career to say ‘oh, I’m bored at work, I’m gonna come and do what you do’. Hobbies wise, nothing career related really. I like running, yoga, theatre, reading and writing- I used to want to be an editor but the industry is very unstable. I have no idea what I want to do is the thing, but my degree is Law with a side of business management. (don’t want to be a lawyer, my friends who did it are always mentally and emotionally drained).

@MikeUniformMike – interestingly, I did accountancy during my degree and got 98%, my highest grade! This is purely because I memorised all the formulas though, I remember none of that now. I don’t think I’d be naturally good at it really.

@Jingeljanglefish – my best job was working at a bookstore ages 17-20. I loved reading, loved the customers and was always busy. Gutted to think I’ve hated my career since then!

@Katewhinesalot – it’s not something I confess to in public really, I don’t think it reflects well. Most people I know are also stressed, I just don’t join in with the ‘work stress’ conversations.

@EverybodyLovesMagicalTrevor – I planned my wedding and house move at work, which was handy! I am surprised there are so many of us!

@BurningTheToast – I don’t have enough knowledge to freelance, I don’t feel like I’ve gained any specialist knowledge in anything. I will look into potential employer funded training though, thanks.

@ElleDubloo – I can’t argue that. As I mentioned, my mum is a nurse, NHS mental health, and I don’t contribute to the world like she does. Gutting. But I can’t help with your NHS funding, as mentioned, I am private not Gov. So your tax money is not paying for me. Thank you for your rage though, it’s helpful to kick me when I’m down.

@RhodaDendron – I will start looking into it I think. No idea what I want to do but the resounding response from this thread has been retrain, I can’t argue with that.

@growlingbear – I don’t know the secret I’m afraid, but I do find it bizarre that all my post degree jobs have been this same pattern. Maybe the secret is ‘get a law degree but don’t be a lawyer?’ I do try and tell myself I’m lucky to have the time, but as I mentioned, I am overlooked, and I’ve always been quite achievement driven so it doesn’t suit me to have nothing to achieve.

@Damntheman – solidarity indeed! That’s a good arrangement you have there. I did register for a few courses on Future Learn and got the green light from my boss to do those, still feels like I would get into trouble if spotted though. But if I have nothing else to do I may bite the bullet and start openly doing those.

@BirthdayCakes – yes can work from home, but I find that worse as I spend the day in bed in my pyjamas. At least going into the office helps a bit. God I sound sad. I am.

@Tensixtysix – I’ve worked my time in retail and I do know I am better off here, just hard to feel it.

OP posts:
outreach29 · 20/06/2019 11:14

Bloody hell OP - you have an amazing facility for attention to detail. ie. doing all the individual replies on this thread.

I really think you need to re-train and basically use your brain and skills to the full!

mrsbeeton999 · 20/06/2019 11:14

A colleague of mine working on planning strategy is similar. When local plans are being developed they are busy and love the job but there’s whole years when they do nothing- pretty soul destroying. How about getting in to planning inspection so you’re out on site 4 hours a day?

0lapislazuli · 20/06/2019 11:17

Move to the public sector. You’ll get paid less, but will be doing the work of about 5 people. You’ll never get bored that way!

But seriously, working in the public sector is a lot more rewarding and you get much more flexibility in when / how you work. They are great about personal development too.

ElleDubloo · 20/06/2019 11:18

Sorry, didn’t realise it was private sector! In that case, not angry anymore. Guess I can’t really sympathise with you though, as have had the opposite problem all my working life and can only dream about all the useful ways I could spend all that free time Smile - top of my list would be doing an online course in something completely different and useful to society - nursing, psychiatry, law, education?

DonkeyHohtay · 20/06/2019 11:24

It makes me cross that so many public sector workers are being paid for doing very little out of our taxes.

That doesn't really help though OP. Look for a job in the private sector.

Alsohuman · 20/06/2019 11:25

She’s IN the private sector. RTFT.

FinallyHere · 20/06/2019 11:25

It's heartbreaking to not feel useful and busy at work. If you are currently in public sector, how about contacting the organisations who would use that service to see whether they need help ?

By contact, I do not mean ask straight out for a job but ask them how their business is going and what challenges they face currently snd in the future. If any of these challenges are in your area, bingo you have an in.

This would also give you an insight into why your current department is over staffed. Is it in preparation for peaks if work and you are in a trough or is the whole area in the doldrums and you would be best to move on?

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/06/2019 11:28

Are you sure that other people in the office are actually busy working or busy working for themselves.

Friend got a law degree. First job 30 minutes in and she burst into tears because she had wasted her time

I think that you obviously enjoy things to do with books and took the safe option.

Any chance of you becoming an Editor or something else to do with reading. You could probably proof read a book whilst sat at your desk.
Even if you have to work stacking shelves when things are tight would you be better throwing caution to the wind. At least you would have tried. Otherwise 10 years from now do you really want to be still stuck in the corner of the room twiddling your thumbs.

More than likely the company will dissolve your branch of the company at some point and centralise it in London if it has already got the name “The Morgue”

Yerroblemom1923 · 20/06/2019 11:34

Are your colleagues happy that they're working and you're not? Is there a reason they're doing stuff and you're not?

escapade1234 · 20/06/2019 11:35

It’s always public sector. You wouldn’t believe how many civil servants do absolutely bugger all day in day out, on the public purse.

I have several friends in civil service jobs, some quite high up now but even they laugh about how much downtime there is. One is very senior in the Dept for Transport. I asked her what she does and she says she reads a lot of emails and responds to say “Ok, sounds fine.” Then she’ll check her staff know what they’re doing for the day. Then she’ll hang out in her office doing very little until someone asks her a question, then off to a meeting where she listens to people talk and she nods.

It’s quite extraordinary how many useless jobs there are in our enormous public sector.

And yes, I do have a bee in my bonnet!

Because teachers, doctors, nurses, paramedics, police are all rushed off their feet by comparison and often for a lot less money.

IrmaFayLear · 20/06/2019 11:35

I've had jobs like this. It can really make you depressed and, like OP, I had a job where I piled on a stone in four months simply because there was nothing to do except look forward to the tea trolley and heavily subsidised lunch.

The particular company above was a well-known media company but boy, were they overstaffed. It made people really protective of their area of work and no one would delegate or allow anyone to help because the scraps of actual work were so thin on the ground. Eventually I left with nothing else to go to because it was so dismal.

With hindsight I wish I had changed course at this point. Even if it involves a pay cut take a job with training and prospects and a more structured environment. Now I am older and (a little bit) wiser I know that if a job description asks for a "self-starter" then run like the wind because it means there is absolutely nothing to do and more than likely no proper job either; a department is trying to maintain its empire.

FieldsOfWheat · 20/06/2019 11:36

All my jobs have been like this for large chunks of time. Sitting on Reddit/MN for 7 hours a day! At one point I did a 140 hour TEFL course. I can get all my work done in 1-2 hours a day. I don't want to ask for more because I hate the job and it's dull, so I "look busy" and flick to some random document whenever people look past. In 3.5 years no-one's noticed.

I hate my career and am quitting to become self-employed in something creative though.