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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I do nothing all day at work and it’s draining the life and soul out of me

209 replies

ZombieWorker · 20/06/2019 09:49

Hi all. Posting here for traffic. This will be long so I apologise. The TLDR is the title.

I graduated 7 years ago and this is my third job since then.

My first job I did nothing. I didn’t mind because I was a young graduate on a big team of people my age, and spent the day talking on the instant messager and having long lunches. When I left I said to my boyfriend (now DH) ‘finally, the real work begins’.

My second job I did a little more, but still vast amounts of nothing- think 1-2 days of work a week max. I was in a corner with my PC facing the wall behind me, and wasn’t being overlooked, so I used my downtime to write a book and do some online courses- learnt a bit of coding, French and some advanced Excel. This suited me very well, but I was still chomping at the bit to leave by the end, as the monotomy of doing nothing for 5 years was really starting to build up.

My third job I started 18 months ago. I was over the moon to get it, and AGAIN said to DH ‘it will be nice to finally start doing real work’. The first 8 weeks were a whirlwind of being taught things, but after that I was told ‘we work responsively’ and ‘you’ll be trained ad hoc as and when things show up’. Clearly, they don’t show up much- I am less busy than I was at job 2.

I’ve mentioned this before in other mumsnet chats before and the answers are always ‘talk to your boss, create your own work, get a new job, fill your day with other things’. So to address those points;

I have talked to my boss many times, always asking for things to do, and about two weeks ago it came to a head as I was nearly in tears telling her that I feel useless, that I don’t know anything more than when I started. He seems to be trying to address it and has mentioned more training, but nothing has materialised yet. I suppose it might over the next few weeks, but I can’t be confident, and it doesn’t help where I am now.

I’ve created so much work at this stage that I keep getting commended for my efforts- why nobody can see this is happening because I have NOTHING ELSE TO DO I have no idea. I’ve gone back through old folders and tidied them up, created new projects to work on, created filing systems, procedural documents- it all gets me through a few days then it’s done and I have nothing to do. I am at the point where I can’t think of a single thing to do myself. I spend a lot of time filing my emails, of which I came in this morning to a grand total of zero, triggering this post.

I could of course get a new job, this seems the logical solution, but this one is very close to my home, with a walking commute. It’s also a good wage, and I have a mortgage to pay. I like my boss, even if nobody is overly friendly here. I don’t know how I could find anything on this wage nearby. Plus, this is my third job that has been like this, so I have no faith jumping ship would leave me in a different spot.

Filling my day with other things is how I have spent my entire career to this point. This worked brilliantly at previous jobs, but I am very overlooked here and don’t feel it’s possible. We are all sat very close together in an open plan. I can listen to podcasts, and get through hours of them a day, but that still leaves me the issue of what to do with my hands. Yesterday I genuinely stared at a blank excel page for about an hour. It’s soul destroying.

My DH tries to help but what can he do. He gets upset with seeing how drained I am on coming home, and how miserable I am getting ready in the morning. He has been looking for jobs for me and sends me links but it doesn’t help that he has no idea what I do, what I’m qualified for- all the links he sends me are either not enough money or vastly past my knowledge grade. I work in a very niche area of planning regulation which I kind of stumbled into, and have no idea what my transferable skills are.

I feel stuck and it’s affecting my quality of life. I’ve gained two stone as I buy large quantities of food on my lunch to eat all afternoon. I know this is boredom but I can’t stop myself- I’m working on this now as I know a bad diet will be effecting my mental health too. I feel like a zombie trudging through the same routine every day, eating to give myself comfort, and it’s shameful. I’m at breaking point here and am really hoping somebody can magic up the answer. Thanks for reading this far.

OP posts:
growlingbear · 20/06/2019 11:36

@Oliversmum has a good idea there. You enjoy writing. Legal copy editing is very well paid, especially if you work for a magic circle firm, and there's plenty of variety and constant tight deadlines. You need to use your legal knowledge and be really creative with linguistic skills. I've done a bit of it, but without a legal background, I wasn't really the right person. It's mentally challenging, definitely. Worth considering.

escapade1234 · 20/06/2019 11:37

I sympathise OP because I worked in a small shop as a teenager and we had about three customers a day and I had literally nothing to do in between but stare at the walls. No phones back then!

WineIsMyCarb · 20/06/2019 11:38

Possibly not the most ethical solution since you're being paid to work for your employer, but why not start a business? I am freelance / run a freelance agency partly due to circumstances but also because in employment I found myself at a loose end all the time. Presenteeism is soul destroying, especially if you have other commitments (for me thinking I could pick DC up from nursery earlier for example).

Get in touch with architects or stick yourself a profile on Bark to get some freelance planning consultancy work. Charge £150 a day and you'll be a cheap as chips option and attractive as a freelance proposal for many agencies. They don't need to be local.
Give it 12 months and I bet you'll be have enough work to leave the day job and set up on your own. Then work 16 hour days when necessary and fuck off to the gym/pub when there are only 2 emails to send all day.

ZombieWorker · 20/06/2019 11:43

@PaintingOwls – chartered surveryor has come up before as a suggestion actually. I’ll read up, thanks. I can WFH but as mentioned upthread I kind of find it worse. That’s also a good point about looking into the qualification requirements for job descriptions, I will do that. Thanks. I used to work audit also- horrendous!!!

@Halloumimuffin – yes, I find a lot of people talk about being busy- but then I offer to take some work off them and help out, suddenly there’s nothing for me. Interesting that. Nice to know I am not alone at least.

@Oliveramumsamry – I can never tell if most jobs are like this or not. I do view people suspiciously now though my own lens. Can’t tell who is actually busy. I definitely love books, in my dream world I am an editor or ghostwriter, but I indeed took the safe option. 10 years of this would be awful. But I am hopeful thanks to some of the suggestions today. The company won’t dissolve our branch, we are the main office with 1k plus employees. The London branch is a token with less than 80.

@Alsohuman – agree. I know a lot of NHS and teachers and they are all non stop.

@Ilikeyourbeard- I too have fallen victim to bumped up job descriptions! I don’t understand why they create these roles in the first place? How have all three of my jobs been like this! Who decided these pointless roles were necessary? I would take a pay cut if it weren’t for the mortgage, feel pretty shackled by it. I love our home, in my sadder moments I remind myself I am working to keep the house.

@Ijustwanttoretire – thank you. Soul destroying is exactly right. I have considered a privacy screen but it feels like a red flag that I am doing nothing!

@Fatted – I think it must be industry specific. You are correct to say it’s a trade off, I’ve generally accepted that the boredom is the price I pay for the salary, but it is tough going.

@Straighttalker33 – thank you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly where I am.

@Ginghamtablecloths – I wonder if two people leaving made him realise the issue? Probably not. As I said, I am so confused at how these roles get created and recruited in the first place.

@Snowy0wl – sadly no, and I am not good at it. I did it because I didn’t want to be ignorant of what it was but it doesn’t come naturally. I am in awe of coders. Excel is really my best skill.

@thenightsky – this is interesting. I will make a note to browse the intranet for schemes I could be doing. Thanks.

@MadeleineMaxwell – I have done this, lots of youtube courses, future learn, OU free courses….as I said, it’s hard to do here as overlooked. I will check Lynda though, thanks.

@HotChoc10 – I’ve only ever worked big corp, my last two were fortune500. Seems to me it’s everywhere!

@Outreach29 – thank you, that’s nice of you to say. I do feel wasted here, but I don’t know what to do!

@Mrsbeeton999 – its all desk based sadly, no travel at all. My last job I used to constantly travel to other sites, can’t do that here.

@0lapislazuli – I do think I would feel more fulfilled there, I’ll have a look. Tied down by the mortgage though.

@ElleDubloo – online courses is how I have spent my time previously, as mentioned, but feels harder to do here. I have a law degree, should be utilizing it better really!

@DonkeyHohtay – as mentioned, many times, private sector. I am not being paid from your taxes. A big company is paying for me to do nothing. That is their prerogative, but doesn’t help my sense of self worth. Thanks for your thoughts though.

@FinallyHere – private sector. I get the impression that they’ve been told regulation is important and have thrown money at us to tick a box.

@Yerroblemom1923 – I wonder this too. Surely it would be annoying? Surely they realise I am filling a gap that does not exist? No clue. Nobody has made their feelings known.

@escapade1234 – private sector.

@IrmaFaylear – yes I get that sense from people here. One woman in particular wont show me how to do things, I wonder if she thinks that if more people know then there’s less work for her? who knows.

@FieldsOfWheat – I wish I had your bravery – and talent!

@growlingbear – yes, I liked her suggestion too. I will look into legal copy editing, thanks.

@WineIsMyCarb – honestly, I don’t think I have enough skills to start a business. Presenteeism is exactly right. I feel like I must be seen, even if I achieve nothing. Sadly architecture is not my area, think more legal regulation.

OP posts:
LuckyLou7 · 20/06/2019 11:44

Another NHS worker here, and the idea of sitting around doing nothing for hours of end is quite appealing Grin

I am on my feet for most of my 12 hour shifts, sometimes going without lunch/coffee breaks, carrying a water bottle around with me to stay hydrated, often stressed, constantly finishing one task and moving onto the next...

However, boredom is awful, soul-destroying. I wasn't aware there were jobs like this. I think I'd rather work on a factory assembly line than 'work' in whatever industry you do, OP.

Find another job, find something that stimulates your mind and makes you feel enthusiastic.

honeygirlz · 20/06/2019 11:45

I have no advice as you're already looking for another job, but can I just say, the way you responded to everyone in one post about and tagged them was meticulous and brilliant.

ElleDubloo · 20/06/2019 11:47

What about tutoring law (secondary/uni students) in your spare time? You can do all the prep at work and tutor for 1-2 hours every evening. Would add interest to your day, earn some extra money, and perhaps set you up for other opportunities in the future in law education.

GimmieTheCoffeeAndNooneDies · 20/06/2019 11:47

Working on the public sector can be all of nothing, either floating around doing 'make work' - this often seems to be in 'communications ' or 'knowledge transfer' teams, or working your at st off with increasing case loads and no respite e.g. Social services or the nhs. Rule of thumb for me
if it isn't immediately apparent from the department name what they do it is probably a make job, and a total waste of tax payers money.

I've worked in both, and although make work can be better paid, it is soul destroying.

And yes I did try the asking for work, meetings, trying to develop side projects. Once when I complained upline about the lack of work my manager had ago at me saying that my complaints may result n her losing team members. Well, yes.

tenbob · 20/06/2019 11:47

Slightly different suggestion...

Can you ask if you can work from home 1 day a week? The tedium and boredom will definitely be easier to deal with when you are at home.

You'd have to give it a few months to see how often your boss is checking in with you/checking up on you, but could potentially then do your hobbies during the day. It's easy to go for a run or practice yoga with your phone close by in case anyone calls or an email comes in

PrawnoftheShed · 20/06/2019 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FieldsOfWheat · 20/06/2019 11:51

WFH is a great idea - in a boring job with little work, it's basically a day off! Wave the mouse around so Skype stays on green, then get on with your hobbies. My partner managed to get through Games of Throne on his WFH days.

Wifeynomore · 20/06/2019 11:56

Is it local government? I had four jobs in local government and three were like this. Basically managers like having staff because it makes them feel important, but they are crap managers. nobody above them assesses their ability to manage and they coast along, filling posts that become empty, creating new posts if money is available, then give the staff little or nothing to do. It's an immoral waste of public money and it needs to be bloody addressed. I knew an entire team whose function had ended and they sat there for three years with no work to do. It only ended when disciplinary action was taken against the manager for watching you tube all day.
The disciplinary ended up taking no action against him as he literally had nothing to do and HIS manager knew this and had failed to disband the team.

If feel your pain but you do have to leave even if you have to retrain.

FieldsOfWheat · 20/06/2019 12:00

I knew an entire team whose function had ended and they sat there for three years with no work to do. It only ended when disciplinary action was taken against the manager for watching you tube all day.

OMG, I know I shouldn't laugh but that is ridiculous lol.

I once got told off for reading Daily Mail all day, and when I said I had no work to do, my manager said "well then can you do it in a meeting room so that clients don't see".

Anarchyshake · 20/06/2019 12:00

I do nothing all day at home. The situation is very different but I understand. I end up starting projects I never finish (thank you, adhd) and reinventing myself, when I don't sleep the day away while the kids are at school. I've wished there was a job to suit my disabilities, I want one so much. But I hadn't considered that a job could land someone feeling the same as I do NOT having a job. I hope it gets better soon. I think a career change sounds most ideal. Perhaps study on the side to do something else, while you have a job which isn't demanding, then qualify and leave.

Jenasaurus · 20/06/2019 12:00

I had a job like this once, and it was very hard because although there was nothing to do all day, you weren't allowed to access the internet or read a book, basically you sat there and waited for the day to end. Some of my friends were envious as they had stressfull busy jobs and when they went on holiday came back to loads of work to be completed. It is harder to have nothing to do than too much though as you stop feeling like you have a purpose. My current job is the right amount of work and I feel like I am contributing, you have my sympathy Op

ifonly4 · 20/06/2019 12:03

What did you study at uni? What are the typical jobs graduates go to after doing that degree? Might be worth considering if any of those would be of interest. If not and you've got a degree, it'll show you're bright, a hardworker and can offer certain skills to any employer, even if it's in a different area. We have a friend whose quite high up in a wellknown oil company, he has someone in his department with a music degree.

PuppyMonkey · 20/06/2019 12:03

I think this is about the fifth or sixth thread I’ve read on here in the last year from people who are stuck in jobs where they do no work all day.

No advice to add OP, sorry. I just find it absolutely fascinating. Baffling but fascinating.Confused

Xmr1986 · 20/06/2019 12:05

Do an Open University Degree, OP. If you don't have a STEM degree already you will qualify for student finance funding :)

Knitwit99 · 20/06/2019 12:13

I've been you. It's really soul destroying isn't it.
I stayed at the time because all the other things about the job suited me- location, hours, money, flexibility. Then I got to a point where all the positives were just not enough and I had to leave.

Overmydeadbody456 · 20/06/2019 12:15

OP I have no advice but your writing style is so articulate and pleasant to read. The way you have replied to all of the posters is just a delight to see on AIBU!

waterrat · 20/06/2019 12:17

God op if you don't like it leave

floribunda18 · 20/06/2019 12:17

People work for local councils and manage to run their own business on the side. Perhaps you could retrain for something else while you are working. Or start your own planning consultancy!

NasiGoreng · 20/06/2019 12:18

Reading this makes me sick. My OH leaves the house at 5.30am and comes back at 7.30pm. He travels loads and does emails every night. According to MN'ers people like him should pay MORE tax.

Err, no our public sector should be more efficient. No offence to people in these jobs but its not fair on others who work long and hard hours to be paid a good wage for doing f'all.

missbattenburg · 20/06/2019 12:19

How many more times? It's not public sector Next people will be telling the OP to cancel the cheque Grin

I also work in a job that is meant to take a full week but really can be fitted into about 15 hours a week. Just recently I was told how having me join the company had been brilliant because of how capable I am. Ha!Luckily I get to wfh 3-4 days a week so the spare time is usefully utilised with house stuff, part time degree and a recently developed interest in matched betting.

It sounds great but I cannot imagine me staying much longer. I used to work in a high stress, high workload role in a busy office. I miss it a lot and frequently have proper dreams that I have found a way back. Once my degree is done I think I will look for something busier.

WitsEnding · 20/06/2019 12:20

I had a job like this for years in the privatised public sector. It nearly broke me.

I did an OU degree and became very active in my trade union.

Would your employer sponsor you to spend some days on voluntary work to build the image of the company? Perhaps supporting STEM in schools or using your talents on charity projects with new premises?

Do your qualifications give you membership of any professional body that you could take a voluntary position in or do some publicity for?