To still send my 1yo DC to nursery in the school holidays?

[GoJetterGirl]

Hello all,

The in laws are now giving me noise about the fact that 1yo DC will still be attending nursery in the school holidays despite the fact that I am also on AL at that time too.

AIBU to still send him so that I can get stuff I’d really been meaning to get done started and possibly finished, and have some time to myself and my eldest DC?

DH thinks it’s best DC1 does go to nursery, but the —fuckwits— in-laws feel that I should be being a “proper mother” and “stop all this silly ideas about putting the baby into nursery, I should be at home with DC until they go to secondary school”

It’s 2.5 days at nursery a week, it’s not as if I’m dropping them off on July 19th and collecting them on September 2nd!!!

YABU to start a thread about this. You and your DH agree about sending the 1yo to nursery. It's none of the PILs business. End of discussion.

I think I'd probably cut down the hours a bit by doing late drop off/ early pick up if you're off work anyway, but one to one time with the older one is also important, as is getting stuff done. It's not like you're dumping your kid and going for a massage every day (although doing something like that once or twice in the summer is also a good idea imo!)
Anyone who suggested I wasn't a "proper mum" wouldn't be welcome in my home, though. That's appalling.

Of course you’re not unreasonable. PIL have had their time raising children and need to back off.

YANBU! I'll be doing the exact same with my 3 year old. She bloody loves nursery and quite frankly, I will enjoy having the time to get the house organised (& relax) prior to her sister's birth in September.
You and your dh agree, so that's all that matters.

Yanbu.
I'm off work today. The kids are in nursery. It is GLORIOUS.

At 1yr old taking him out for the summer would be very disruptive for him. It's much better for him to stay in his routine even if you drop later/pick up early. But stopping entirely may leave you with settling in problems come September

Yanbu
Ima sahp and my dd goes to childminder 1.morn a week. I get stuff done. She gets time to mix with others and enjoys it.
Makes her happy. And us happy. It's amazing what I can get done of a morning. Shopping or housework. Or even me time.
It was dps suggestion.. Best he's ever made. Lol

yanbu i often put the littlest into nursery when I'm off with the older ones. it's lovely getting to do things that would be too difficult to do with a toddler in tow and spend some quality time with then or do jobs.
preferably your pil should mind their own business and when they don't you should ignore them. they sound like twats

So glad I’m NBU 😅

Yeah, the MIL has had her time raising kids, and seeing as I live with one of hers and he still requires improvement in places, I’m not going to take any notice of anything that comes out of her pot hole.

DC1 wouldn’t do all day, just about 5 hours or so, enough time to do ironing/ maybe have a shower without opening the door and finding a small line of people waiting for me (think both DCs, cat, dog, hamster etc 😂) hell, I might even go shopping alone while DC6 is at summer club, my shopping bill would reduce by at least 50% if I didn’t take DCs and DH!!

Works for you - do it. They shouldn’t stick their ores in.

My DC is 2.5 and in nursery two full days a week. I’m a SAHM (now) - kept him there from when I was working as I felt it was great for his development and he loves it.

YANBU especially if you would have to pay anyway. You can get a lot of things done and then actually have time and headspace to play with the DC!

I am. My 1YO will attend nursery all summer for 2 days a week.

It means I'll get to spend time with the older one, do stuff around the house and it'll keep him in his routine. He loves nursery and to take him out would mean losing his place and probably be confusing if we were able to get the space back.

Also means weekends are free from household chores that I couldn't get done so quickly with him around so we have family time.

I don't give a toss if anyone thinks this is mean. SAHM here too. Do what is best for your immediate family and did what other people think!

I would maybe send them for a day purely to spend one on one time with your older dc. I would not send a baby 2.5 days as it’s not necessary.

What @PrayingandHoping said.

Taking them put for too long disturbs routines, and you then have the difficulty of establishing it again.

And its none of their business.

YANBU if you take the baby out for the summer and put them back in theyl have likely forgotten the nursery by September and need resettling, routine is good for small children and quality time is good for older children who will actually remember it. My two are great together (4 and 2) but the eldest still loves some time alone as he doesn’t have to ‘share’ with his sister who won’t share, and the youngest loves alone time because she gets free run of all the best toys. I’d probably drop off or pick up a little early tho so the youngest still gets a bit of a bonus from your AL if possible

I’m a nursery nurse who works term time in a nursery that opens all year round. My one year old attends half a day at nursery once a week in the holidays. It’s important to keep that routine going for their sake. Children can be really disrupted by time out over the holidays, especially the longer holidays and end up having to resettle back in again. If I could afford it I’d send her twice a week as I think even a week is a long time for a small child to go between sessions. But she’s settled there so it works ok. It’s great to be able to have a morning 1-1 with my eldest as well.

Thank you Rhino and PP,

DC definitely need to stick to routine, we’re having a fantastic number of meltdowns with changes recently and as others have said, if I’m paying for it anyway, it would be stupid not to use it.

Thank you for lending me your spines ladies (and gents)

I’m off to offend the in-laws via email and tell them they’re not welcome this summer 😀

The only time I had to myself was when my DD was in nursery. You wouldn't take them out of school just because you had a day off. Sometimes you need peace and space to get stuff done without having to entertain a child. They need to wind their necks in and mind their own business.

Def not U! I am on count down to the summer holidays (teacher) which is also when my mat leave will start as due in October and not going back. DS will be going his usual three mornings a week the whole time and I can't wait for the time to myself!!! While I still have it!
Most little ones love nursery and routine and it would be worse to change it on him and then have to change again when you're back at work. If anything you're being kind to him

I think it's a great idea - your one year old interacts with other children, you spend time with your 6 year old and get some other things done - good for everyone imo.
as pp mentioned your inlaws decided what was best for their family and now it's time for you and dh to decide what works best for your family - nothing to do with them.

Taking DD out of nursery for that long would have played havoc with her routine and required re-settling after the summer. It was bad enough if she was off for one weeks’ holiday.

Do what suits you. PIL can GTF.

YABU to start a thread about this. You and your DH agree about sending the 1yo to nursery. It's none of the PILs business. End of discussion.

Is that the new standard for AIbU? Surely this area of the site is exactly the place to gather opinion on this kind of thing?

Very strange for an Internet forum which is designed for people to share experiences and gather opinions is exactly the place OP should come to and ask this question?

It's much better to stay in routine than have to resettle him in September.

YANBU, your PIL don’t have a say in the way you parent.

I agree with your ils, but it's not my child and none of my business.
I didn't use nurseries though.
Do what's right for your family, as usual.
Can't see the point in a thread either, tbh.

Definitely not unresasonable. I will be doing the same with my youngest. That way I can soend time one on one with my eldest and I can get a few bits done as well. My youngest loves nursery and it keeps her used to the routine as well.