To still send my 1yo DC to nursery in the school holidays?

[GoJetterGirl]

Hello all,

The in laws are now giving me noise about the fact that 1yo DC will still be attending nursery in the school holidays despite the fact that I am also on AL at that time too.

AIBU to still send him so that I can get stuff I’d really been meaning to get done started and possibly finished, and have some time to myself and my eldest DC?

DH thinks it’s best DC1 does go to nursery, but the —fuckwits— in-laws feel that I should be being a “proper mother” and “stop all this silly ideas about putting the baby into nursery, I should be at home with DC until they go to secondary school”

It’s 2.5 days at nursery a week, it’s not as if I’m dropping them off on July 19th and collecting them on September 2nd!!!

I've always sent ds during the holidays. If I'm on leave we'll have some days off and do lots of late starts/early finishes. Last year I painted the house!

I really dont understand how people can want a child, but not want to spend all available time with them

I don't want to spend all my time with DS and I don't think it's healthy anyway. It's great for children to interact with with other children and has always been important that he spends time with grandparents and other family without us there.

@GoJetterGirl

I recognise your username.

These people are dicks. Honestly, if you ever ever doubt the validity of your decisions based on anything they say remember this:

THEY’RE DICKS.

/end

Inez ahhh the old 'why did you bother having kids' comment.

Do you know how insulting that is?

Your IL's should mind their own business.

And the sainthood for parenting the most patonising condersending post ever

Goes to LOLLY.

When you've dusted off that medel and you've actually got sone humility prehaps consider that you are not every parent nor are your children every child.

I have the most wonderful memories with my parents i also hace some of my best away from them. Spending time with my foster respite parents, aunts auncles. It allowed me discover who i was.

It allowed my parents to soend time with their respective partners, or my other siblings. As i got older it even allowed me to devolop my indepence skills as i started traveling on coaches and trains to get to my relatives. I would look forward to my weeks away from my parents. They were great memories too.

I really dont understand how people can want a child, but not want to spend all available time with them

Because having a child doesn't mean having to give up everything you enjoy so you can devote every second to them. I like going out for a run, I want to continue to work, DH and I sometimes leave them with their grandma while we go out together. I think it's good for them to socialise with people that aren't us. All of us would be a lot less happy if we were stuck with eachother 24 hours a day.

That’s great for you @Lolly25 - you are motivated to use others to look after your children as a last resort and that’s probably reflective of your own individual rationale...

... but it’s profoundly shit of you to stick the knife into the OP as well as the many other posters on this thread who would welcome the opportunity to take time out to do what works for them that’s not possible when their child is around.

Heaven knows we see plenty threads on here from women who’ve martyred themselves into illness and depression because they think that attitudes like yours are the prevailing norm and are making themselves ill trying to be the all encompassing super wife, mother and woman.

You keep doing what works for you and that’s great but don’t blackball parents who have the chance to take time out and recharge.

Happy mum, happy baby. It’s simple.

YANB in the slightest bit U but do have a few lie ins if the DC lets you.

Do what's right for you. I can see your PILs view and I probably agree with them, but it's your family, your rules. Who cares what I, your in-laws, mumsnet or the Daily Shite think.

Does your child enjoy nursery? Mine loved it and like most benefitted from going and becoming independent and having different experiences. Lots of children go to nursery and mostly thrive. I quite honestly find it irresponsible when people portray parents who use nursery in such a poor light. Parents with children in nursery are usually still very available parents and use family time outside nursery hours to spend lots of time with their children, often focused on being with them rather than getting the housework etc done. Also children thrive on routine. How is it better to take your child out for a period and then them have to start again with introductions, not being at home all day etc?

Christ on a bike, I don't want to spend every available hour with anyone!

I hope that's eased off now or there's a thread or 2 about you, Lolly!

OP do what's right for you.

I’m a sahm. My DS goes to nursery a few mornings a week and has since 18m. 20m old DD will go 2 mornings a week from September when her brother starts school. I can’t wait! I spend more than enough time with them thank you, I can be without them for 6 hours a week

In fact they’re both currently with a babysitter and I’m enjoying some me time (in US so it’s daytime here). I know I’ll be in a much better mood to deal with the evening routine having had a little break from them this afternoon.