AIBU to tell you that you don’t need to be unhappy with your body.

[Iwalkedaway]

I’ve just been reading another thread where lots of posters talk about how attractive they were when slimmer, as though being overweight is out of their control!

I definitely don’t want to come across as negative or patronising, but for the vast majority of people (excluding those with health needs, of course), weight is entirely within your control!

I’ve always been moderately slim, but in the last few years I’ve lost about 3 stone. At almost 40 I’m the smallest I’ve ever been! To achieve that I;

Got into yoga.
Eat less calories than I burn (monitored on fitness tracker)
Swim and weight train sometimes.
Drink less alcohol.
Will do random, ad hoc exercise through the day, squats whilst the stirring the food etc.

So many people seem sad about their weight gain on here, but it’s absolutely a choice! If you’re unhappy change it! It’s absolutely possible

If only it was that simple....!

I take steroids everyday for asthma and Addison’s disease. They keep me alive and I have to take them everyday for the rest of my life. I have a pituitary tumour and hypothyroidism. Until these developed I was a size 10. I am now a size 16/18 and I barely eat anything apart from ultra healthy snacks and the odd bit of chocolate (and I do mean “bit”) and I walk 2 hours a day and do exercise. I just can’t lose any weight, ever.

Before my conditions I admit I used to think it was easy to lose weight. What an idiot I was!

I think you need a safe word for those plans whitelight. I'd have burned some fat burying my DH if he chanted "no excuses" at me with my colic fuelled newborn to look after.

Wow.

I still don't get how you can squat while you're stirring food unless you have a VERY low cooker (misses the point of thread)

Hilarious! & utter utter nonsense. I say that as an ex-personal trainer who worked as part of a team with psychologists and dieticians and specialised in weight issues and obesity.

Clearly we were wasting our time with all that hard work, research and silly old qualifications, could have handed the clients a leaflet telling them to do some lunges whilst the kettle boils & eat less & get a grip!!

Perhaps though OP, as it is WAY more complex than your clearly limited understanding demonstrates it might be an idea to develop just a tiny bit of empathy & try a bit harder to understand that not every is made like you or thinks like you...🙄

I'm in the menopause and it is really hard to lose weight the older you get. However, when younger, when I was determined I always did manage it but was miserable in the process.

I lost a stone from rolling my eyes so much reading this, thanks OP

Im naturally slim and agree with eating is in your control part BUT mental health isn't, and a lot of peoples issues with food go deeper than they like a bit of cake.

What a thoughtless post. I’ve overeaten since primary school due to what I now know to be anxiety, probably depression too. I’m juggling a child with ASD in special school due to challenging behaviour, NHS job, three bereavements in less than a year plus my usual constant anxiety. I am fit due to the exercise I do to stay sane but about 3 stone overweight. I am desperately unhappy about it but struggling with everything I have to deal with. I keep starting diets, losing a few pounds then giving up. Losing weight is the hardest thing I have ever done and I’ve done it many times.

I’m keeping my job, my children, my family and my sanity together but I’m clearly a failure because of this one weakness.

I'm on the bus

Don't forget to lunge between stops Dotty.

40 😂. Wait until you're in your 50s and come back then. It gets much harder to stay slim.

But to be honest I'm just happy to have a body that is fit and well and works. I've recently had a foot problem which really restricted my mobility and I realised that good health is the thing we should all hope for. Life is to be lived.

Because most of us are detached form our needs and our bodies, numbing ourselves with food, have no money to address our previous trauma and crap food is cheap.
Well done your for being so bloody virtuous!

The title made me think this was about not equating happiness to body size. Sadly not.
I would love to hear about ways women can have confidence and self esteem that isn't about their appearance or body weight.

I never had a problem with my weight. Comfortably stayed a size 6-8, weighed under 8 stone. Cruised through 40 without a backward glance. Then peri menopause hit. And I have gained a stone and a half in the last 2 years, despite upping my exercise and cutting my food intake.

I was the fittest I had been in my late 30s too.

Come back in another few years and tell us all how easy it is when your age and declining hormones have other ideas.

I always imagine Mumsnet to be populated by 2 distinct tribes. The slim skinny blondes, all ‘my DH works in the city blah blah blah’ and fat slobs in black leggings and voluminous t shirts. It’s like you’re trying to recruit to your tribe OP, but not making it sound like an appealing option.

Thoughtless and lacking in empathy. Where's the YABU button now?

If you’ve always been moderately slim and you’ve lost 3 stone you must be super thin now!!!

OP I am in my 50s. Size 10, 4/5 gym sessions a week.

But I am not naiive enough to suggest that everyone can find scheduling exercise, have the motivation, family working life is workable.

Great that you have found something that works for you- as I have too, but please don't be so insensitibe to suggest that we can all achieve this if only we try hard enough.

Life is complex, everyone is different.

Wow. No more diet industry. The problem has been solved.

CaptainNelson I'd imagine its all in the rhythm.
Squat, chop
Squat, chop
Squat, stir
Squat, stir
Squat, whisk
Squat, whisk

You get the idea. I'm definitely doing it while I cook dinner tomorrow, I've no idea why it didn't occur to me before. Maybe I'll pop some motivating music on in the background.

OP I was a size 8 in my 20s, I used to do moderate exercise and ate a fairly balanced diet. Then at 29 I got an underactive thyroid out of nowhere and I ballooned to 13 stone and a size 16. I started the Insanity work out and ate a very clean and lean diet and lost about 7 pounds over a year which is nothing. I had severe complications with my wisdom teeth and couldn't eat solids for 8 weeks and I lost 2 stone and went down to a 12. Perfect I thought ☺️ then as soon as I could eat solids again I gained a stone in a few weeks. I've been doing strenuous exercise daily and eating very lean, including no alcohol and at least a 500 calorie deficit, for about 3 months and I've lost a couple pounds. That's it. So basically I need mouth surgery and no solids for 8 weeks to lose weight, that's how drastic I have to be. That's not sustainable. My thyroid has messed my metabolism up even though I am medicated. I think I'll always hang around a size 14 now no matter what I do.

So I know you mean well OP but it's quite insulting. People (not you, just generally) mock thyroids as being a cause for weight gain but I can 100% say it is the reason and it's not a joke.

This is the bravest thread I've seen in ages

Will do random, ad hoc exercise through the day, squats whilst the stirring the food etc

Do you not spill?

ive always been moderately slim

See, you started off there. Whereas, on the day I started puberty, it was like someone pulled a ripcord and my body inflated to twice it's precious size.

So have a very polite piss off from me.