Help - what is wrong with me?? Have taken an irrational dislike to bf face

[Swellerellamoo]

So bizarre wondered if anyone else had any wise words. We've been together for a year and I have always thought he was initially very handsome as well as then once getting to know him better and better , he is loving, generous, loyal, fun, shared interests and so on.

But recently I have been questioning the whole relationship as I have started to find the positioning of his nose completely off putting. He has a very short nose in comparison to the size of his face. I just seems the more I look at it like it's not quite right. It's making me question all my feelings about him. I'm not usually remotely body fascist and very easy going and don't understand this reaction at all. I don't know why on earth I would notice this / feel like this and welcome any advice.

You sound a bit shallow. Your boyfriend's imperfect nose makes you question your feelings for him? Are you sure there aren't other issues in your relationship that are making you pick out other things you aren't happy with? (His nose!)

It sounds like you have ‘the ick’ - when for some reason, the attraction you felt has died and features or habits that you previously liked become repulsive.

The focus on the nose is an attempt to find a reason for the ick, but it’s not actually the cause. The cause is hard to pin down - it just happens.

It’s There is no decoding this feeling, but it’s very hard to come back from. If you really want to move on from it and stay with your boyfriend you will have to try and train yourself out of this feeling, but I think it’s hard to do.

I'm trying to come back from it as I genuinely really like him and would like to be with him long term- any tips?

Are you pregnant?

Hmmm no pretty sure not everything seems fine , period 3 weeks ago, no symptoms

Oh god I had this for a while with an ex - one day I just thought, Jesus, his nostrils are enormous.
And for weeks after I found it incredibly offputting. But it passed.

Could you be pregnant?

Perhaps their are other issues...as I get to know him better i realise he has very low confidence / low ambition ie he will never leave a very low paid menial role even though he is a uni graduate ... The pay and the job don't bother me now but long term he just simply doesn't earn enough to move out of home / support me on mat leave .
He mumbles a lot, especially when talking to other men... Perhaps it's his way of bonding,or he feels shy?
He really likes meat and sees no problem with the meat industry and is visibly annoyed by my attempt to reduce my own meat consumption. But he always tries to choose restaurants with a decent veggie selection.
He can be quite snappy when tired, but always has a think and apologizes.

He tells me he loves me everyday and loves my company.
He has little defects Like a misshapen nipple, ie one if his nipples looks like it's two if you see what I mean. His little fingers are much smaller than the rest of his hands. He's never let me see his toes. But noones body perfect and I never thought I would mind about things like rhis and never have up till now.
Honestly don't know what's happening to me - why am I being so critical??

Hmm, sorry but I think it’s your brain’s way of telling you he isn’t the man for you. I remember having this feeling with an ex and trying to ignore it, whereas despite my DHs many flaws/faults, his face has never annoyed me.

Really? I honestly don't want to break up with him....

I also initially wondered about pregnancy, my first few weeks of pregnancy my husband's face made me physically ill.

But reading your update it just sounds like you're not actually that into him but that you also don't want to be alone. We've all been there I think but you seem very critical of him and it sounds like long term, it wouldn't work out.

Honestly he's funny sweet kind loyal and loving. Everything I've ever wanted. Why would my brain do this to me?

Yes but he's also unambitious and snappy and critical of your choices.

I couldn't be with a man with any of those qualities.

You have, as a poster upthread said, the ick.
It happens. It’s happened to me many times. It’s your instincts flagging incompatibility and your rational brain looking for rationale.
Sorry OP but I’d be very surprised if you came back in a year or two posting about your wedding and plans for 7 children.

But surely not everyone is perfect? Being unambitious means relaxed and not stressed which is great. I don't actually want any more kids (which he knows ) and am fairly financially secure. Snappy but who isn't and at least recognises it...doesnt understand my less meat choice but does try to make sure I can eat wherever we go...

no one's perfect but after a year, I still thought my husband was.

Maybe just take it a little slower and see what happens.

Yes In some ways I can see incompatibility... Ie I like to think about life and go outside of my comfort zone but he's not keen

It’s the ick. I started finding my exes bald head really weird and the idea of touching it horrible. I don’t usually have any such issues at all ever like that with people so I would try to focus on why I did like him and what I did fancy about him but ultimately it was because I had gone off him

Your brain has decided he's not a long term option for a partner. Stay with him all you want but as soon as you don't want him touching you you'll have to end it.

Sounds like you've simply gone off him. Physical attraction is part of any relationship and if it wanes then it doesn't bode well so don't make any long term plans.

Your head is saying yes, but your heart and vagina are saying nope.

It’s funny you mentioned him not being able to support you on mat leave, then say you don’t want any more kids. How many have you got? How is he with them?
I agree with IAm about you feeling like this after only a year. The mumbling at other men sounds a bit odd! Sweet perhaps but in a guy who lives at home, does make him sound a bit boy-like. I may be biased because a lack of ambition/focus sounds really unattractive to me, and he sounds a bit basic trying to shame you out of reducing your meat consumption- you sound like really different people.

Your brain/body has a deep biological sense of who will make decent babies with you. They are sensing there is something wrong with the combination of your genes with his and hence you get the ick.

Not once in your posts you mentioned you love him. Just that you want to stay with him. Why? Comfort? Stability? Not wanting to be alone? None of them good enough reasons to spend your whole life with someone and probably why this is happening now. It sounds like you've settled and you're not happy about it.

My first thought was "are you pregnant?", but yeah... You're not compatible, you've lost respect for him. You've got the ick. Your body's gone "nope not touching THAT any more, don't want babies off it!"

End it.