... to not tell my militantly vegan friend she ate fish sauce?

[Snuffalo]

I am a relaxed vegan, as are one of my kids, the other kid and my partner are mostly vegetarian. Basically what that means for me is that I would never spend my own money on animal products, and I wouldn't use them in my own cooking, but if someone else prepares food for me or I'm a guest in someone's home I'll eat what's put in front of me, for the most part - I won't have a sausage or a burger at your barbecue, but I'll eat the pasta salad even if has cheese in it, and I'll have some of your birthday cake even if it's made with eggs.

Anyway, my friend Alice- who is a militant, rather than a relaxed, vegan

• was over and I heated up what I confidently thought to be vegan sweet potato and black bean chilli that my partner had made earlier in the week. I know the recipe backwards and forwards because one of us makes it at least once a month with zero animal products so I had no reason to suspect otherwise. I must say it was especially delicious this time - because, as it turns out, my partner added some fish sauce because he'd read somewhere that it's good in chilli. I didn't find out until today and now I'm wondering if I should tell Alice? I can't decide if, in her shoes, I would want to know or not. Would you?

Check if it’s the fish sauce made from fish or fish sauce to go with fish before you create a fuss.

Vegan dog food is fairly easy to come by.

No vegan friends of mine have pets that aren't rescues.

PurpleDaisies, why would people give you eggs and dairy when you say that you're vegan?

Because people like the op call themselves vegan. People see them eating eggs and cheese and assume all vegans do.

I don’t understand why the op has a problem with calling herself a pescatarian.

Why does she feel she needs to call herself a vegan?

Vegan is something that is very clearly defined. Eating the odd bit of cheese and fish isn't in that definition. Ergo, the OP is not a vegan, relaxed or otherwise. Technically, she's a pescatarian, which is a perfectly thought-through, environmentally conscious, compassionate choice. Why pretend to be something you're not?

Op, think you are enjoying this.

Crikey - I'd like to point out that being a "vegan" isn't actually a thing. It means you are following a vegan diet.

So you absolutely CAN be a relaxed vegan....i.e. one who mainly follows a vegan diet, but will occasionally not.

It is a fucking DIET people, nothing more!

Clarifying your diet preferences is helpful. I have vegan friends who wouldn't care about ( occasional ) fish sauce - and those who would.

My friends are nice people so I'd confess. If they were "militant" I probably wouldn't ever invite them to my house or be their friends in the first place

If everyone tried their best to do what they can for the planet and for animal welfare...then we would have a better planet. Being sanctimonious or "militant" about it only puts more people off trying. A one-day-a-week vegan is better than nothing.

@PurpleDaisies she prefers to eat Vegan, she is allowed to say she is a Vegan if she wants.

It's not a cult ... Oh... Wait

All those posters falling over themselves to wag fingers and tell the OP that 'she's not a vegan' and that there's no such thing as militant veganism, only veganism - um, yes there is and you are making the point beautifully!

Unless you have allergenic reasons to be a vegan or vegetarian, it can only ever be because you have a moral objection to eating animal products. That's obviously 100% fine and an individual's choice - but why the puritanism? Why the finger-wagging at someone who has, say, an 80% vegan diet and the rest of the time reneges a little bit? Is it ALL SPOILED if you sully your temple by having the odd bit of cake that has egg in it? Jeez.

Wrong jelly

From the Vegan Society...
Veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose.

I’m horribly confused. If someone told me they were a relaxed vegan I would know exactly what they meant. Which is exactly what the OP described herself as. She mostly eats vegan food. What’s hard to understand about that? Same with vegetarian. Being a vegan isn’t a medical condition.

Being a vegan isn’t a diet though.

It’s a lifestyle where you try to minimise using animal products and exploiting animals as much as practically possible in everything you do.

Plant based is a diet.

PurpleDaisies but who are these people that assume that dairy products are vegan? I'm careful with them for vegetarian friends and if I'm not sure, I'll ask.

People aren't stupid. Not generally.

Why does OP's label bother you so much? I read it very much as setting the scene. Perhaps if we removed the labels altogether it would be less inflammatory. Eat what you eat - be clear about what you can't eat. Job done.

I don’t understand why the op has a problem with calling herself a pescatarian.

Not sure OP is pescatarian normally. Seems the partner was the one to add the fish sauce and the OP describes the house as being usually fish free. So maybe vegetarian, but working towards a more vegan based diet.

I am generally pescatarian, and describe myself as such. I don't aways check everything though so probably have the odd animal derived produce at times. such as through wine, cheese and some sweets.

Runmore, good question. Not sure!

It’s more that, whether they’re rescue animals or not, they’re still being ‘kept’, put on a lead, trained, caged in some situations etc which to me is contradictory to the vegan ‘pledge’ of non exploitation.

I wouldn't tell her! That's not going to go well if you do.

Being a vegan isn’t a diet though.

But that's more just being a tad semantic isn't it?
Most people would understand what a vegan based diet would mean, and I have seen this used way more than a 'plane based diet' that's for sure.

Yes, veganism can be a total lifestyle for some people. but for many people it is a diet based decision too.

1. You’re not a vegan. You just prefer to eat vegan food at home when you cook.

1. Don’t tell your friend she ate fish sauce.

I now need to know what the true vegan stance is on animal manure. And is it possible to grow vegetables organically, in commercial quantities without the meat and dairy industry?

I don't claim to be a vegan but I do see the sense in a more plant based diet, but for lots of reasons. I don't know what I'd feed my organic veg plot if it wasn't manure or blood fish and bone though.

@Windyone

I don’t think vegans should have pets

I’m not a vegan but I think people deciding what vegans should or shouldn’t have is sanctimonious. You do you.

sick of omnivores parading their street cred by calling themselves vegans/vegetarians when they are not

I want to smirk at someone who thinks there is street cred to gain by calling selves vegan or any eat-ism.

But that's more just being a tad semantic isn't it?

Not to vegans.

You either try to live a life minimising your harm to animals or you don’t.

Vegan is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose.

BIB: entirely down to individual interpretation.

I see nothing in that interpretation that means OP isn’t vegan, she just isn’t a strict obsessive one.

Being vegan is to follow a lifestyle of minimal harm to animals as far as possible. Everyone has the right to live this way, without being misled by others.

There is no inbetween. Either you are vegan or you are omnivorous. Vegetarianism and other such diets do next to nothing for the plight of animals - you might as well eat meat.

Nothing militant about that imo, just common sense. I'm happy to be called militant if it makes people feel better about their violent lifestyle choices.

You can get vegan-friendly compost but it’s certainly not widely available and very much doubt it is being used by the vast majority of commercial fruit and vegetable growers.