... to not tell my militantly vegan friend she ate fish sauce?

[Snuffalo]

I am a relaxed vegan, as are one of my kids, the other kid and my partner are mostly vegetarian. Basically what that means for me is that I would never spend my own money on animal products, and I wouldn't use them in my own cooking, but if someone else prepares food for me or I'm a guest in someone's home I'll eat what's put in front of me, for the most part - I won't have a sausage or a burger at your barbecue, but I'll eat the pasta salad even if has cheese in it, and I'll have some of your birthday cake even if it's made with eggs.

Anyway, my friend Alice- who is a militant, rather than a relaxed, vegan

• was over and I heated up what I confidently thought to be vegan sweet potato and black bean chilli that my partner had made earlier in the week. I know the recipe backwards and forwards because one of us makes it at least once a month with zero animal products so I had no reason to suspect otherwise. I must say it was especially delicious this time - because, as it turns out, my partner added some fish sauce because he'd read somewhere that it's good in chilli. I didn't find out until today and now I'm wondering if I should tell Alice? I can't decide if, in her shoes, I would want to know or not. Would you?

It doesn’t, Dorset. How could it?

@dorsetdays I don’t think vegans should have pets but someone will come along to tell you that they’ve got rescue dogs/cats and they are helping them.

The hostile reactions of the militant vegans on this thread make it clear: don’t tell her

If you're a committed vegan who believes the world would be a better place if everyone was like you, I'd have thought you'd applaud the OP's efforts to get as close as she feels able rather than vilifying her for not being perfect like you

This is a genuine question? What do vegans feed their plants with? Most organic farms use a lot of animal mature but presumably that's not possible if the veg is to be sold to vegans?

Do farmers have to classify their veg as suitable for vegans?

As someone who was strict vegetarian for nearly 30 years I would not have wanted to know in the sort of situation you're in (ie. it coming to light after the event that there was an ingredient in there that I shouldn't have had). It would have played on my mind and annoyed me that I'd eaten it for ages afterwards (not blaming the friend though IYSWIM).

What I vehemently disagree with is people who knowingly give a vegan/vegetarian something that they know they don't eat

If you're a committed vegan who believes the world would be a better place if everyone was like you, I'd have thought you'd applaud the OP's efforts to get as close as she feels able rather than vilifying her for not being perfect

They don’t care about that. They care about feeling special with their label.

Genuine question...if being a strict vegan means not exploiting animals in anyway, how does keeping a dog as a pet fit that ethos

I once saw some vegan YouTubers with vegan cats 😳 absolutely under no circumstance should a cat ever eat a vegan diet.

I like the typo on “free rage eggs” upthread.

They sound quite interesting but I imagine would ruin cakes.

I agree with Runmoreorless, OP's description sets the scene of her typical diet.

Being dyspeptic about OP's choice of wording just makes you sound a bit of a knob. Get a badge or something and wear it with pride if that makes you feel better.

I'm not vegan, I'm omnivorous, mostly fish rather than meat but have at least 3 or 4 vegetarian days a week. I have vegan friends and none of them would carry on like some of you have on the thread. OP doesn't deserve your vitriol.

This is a genuine question? What do vegans feed their plants with? Most organic farms use a lot of animal mature but presumably that's not possible if the veg is to be sold to vegans?

You must realise that there's an enormous difference between using manure to grow organic veg and eating animal flesh, yes?

I was in a similar position a few years back. At a house party we fed my friend fishy primula cheese. We only realise the next morning after looking at the packet. We agreed to never tell her and to this day she doesn't know. Don't tell her, it really serves no purpose, it can't be changed and knowing won't make her happy. It was an honest mistake.

If you're a committed vegan who believes the world would be a better place if everyone was like you, I'd have thought you'd applaud the OP's efforts to get as close as she feels able rather than vilifying her for not being perfect like you

Absolutely this! ^^

Honestly OP you summed it up perfectly. You refuse to finance the meat and dairy industry in your own home but in situations where it is unavoidable you would rather food didn't go to waste. I definitely think you're the real winner here.

PIL are similar to you OP and now say they aim for a plant based diet, they don't eat meat or fish, at home they're non dairy and no eggs, they wouldn't be concerned about the tiny amount of fish sauce in your chilli and would eat it knowingly. They've made a lifestyle choice for health and environmental reasons and like a PP said, think being 90% there is better than being 0% there. I think it's sensible

I get you OP - I'd describe myself as a fairly diligent vegan (I tend to spit food out if I discover it's not suitable mid-bite), but my DH describes himself as 'plant-based' because, as he points out, people tend to hear 'militant twat' rather than 'vegan'

I wouldn't tell her. My friends have fessed up to me in the past about accidentally contaminated food and I've been 'Meh, don't worry' about it, but I suspect your friend wouldn't be!

Also, it is almost impossible to be vegan 100% of the time; so many things have animal products in that you just wouldn't expect (Trebor extra strong mints, anyone?). Antibiotics are a particular annoyance (hello beef gelatine)

The hostile reactions of the militant vegans on this thread make it clear: don’t tell her

Which militant vegans would they be? There are only three I can see who say they are vegan and two of them simply posted "don't tell her".

If you're a committed vegan who believes the world would be a better place if everyone was like you, I'd have thought you'd applaud the OP's efforts to get as close as she feels able rather than vilifying her for not being perfect like you

I’m not saying I’m perfect. Just that if you call yourself a vegan you don’t eat dairy and eggs. It’s really unhelpful for those of us who actually are vegan because people give us eggs and dairy.

Vegan means something specific. What’s wrong with saying you’re vegetarian?

Kaldeofotter. But surely using animal manure would mean the exploitation of those animals as they must be ‘farmed’ in some way for their manure to be considered fit for that purpose and collected.

Hithere12, yes I think so yes, which is why I ask. The manure is only available as a byproduct of the meat/dairy industry, so if meat eaters didn't exist there would be no organic fertiliser.....

Vegans have fought quite hard for it to be a recognisable thing, that fits into a normal life and isnt some sort of extreme cult and I find it a bit of a smack in the face to them if someone describes themself as vegan while not being one and eating things that dont fit into what veganism is. Also similar to ' vegetarians ' who eat fish, this is why vegetarians are so often given it as their option and menus have a 'v' next to the tuna sandwich or salmon . It confuses people. Just say what you are. A vegetarian. Or someone who doesn't eat much dairy.

If you're a committed vegan who believes the world would be a better place if everyone was like you, I'd have thought you'd applaud the OP's efforts to get as close as she feels able rather than vilifying her for not being perfect like you

This! Round of applause for you

Sorry I replied to the wrong poster but this whole thread has made me think. Animal manure used to feed vegetables only exists because of the meat/dairy industry. It's a minefield.

This thread really does live up to the stereotype of vegans doesn't it?!

Being vegan does NOT make you a better or more superior person in any way at all. It's just a choice you make for yourself.

Yes, the OP isn't vegan. She says herself that she isn't. Maybe a better way of expressing her diet might have been to say thatch eats a 'mainly vegan diet' but not wholly.

It was the OP's partner who added the fish sauce, not the OP. The OP wasn't aware of this, and it was different to the way it is normally made in their home. That doesn't make the OP a bad person. She just wasn't aware her partner had changed the way they normally cook this dish.

Of course, there is absolutely no benefit to anyone in telling the friend. Why would you want to upset the vegan friend?

And the op isn't make it harder for people to access vegan food in restaurants. Or are our trained chefs now so unintelligent they don't understand what makes food vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, etc? I doubt it. Yes, some restaurants can be a bit rubbish but you just check with the chef before ordering if you are unsure surely? I have have found it is usually fairly easy to determine what is going into food at restaurants these days.

PurpleDaisies, why would people give you eggs and dairy when you say that you're vegan? Most people, if they don't know what veganism is, would ask you about it or at least ask you if you can eat x, y or z?

I think you're using that to bolster an argument that doesn't really exist. What it boils down to is that vegans feel some superiority about their choices and want the recognition for those from other people - with non-vegans being put firmly in their lower place.

That's how this thread reads to me anyway. 'Militant' is a good description and my vegan friends would think this thread very odd and the vegans on it somewhat rude.

What do they feed their dogs Dorsetdays?