... to not tell my militantly vegan friend she ate fish sauce?

[Snuffalo]

I am a relaxed vegan, as are one of my kids, the other kid and my partner are mostly vegetarian. Basically what that means for me is that I would never spend my own money on animal products, and I wouldn't use them in my own cooking, but if someone else prepares food for me or I'm a guest in someone's home I'll eat what's put in front of me, for the most part - I won't have a sausage or a burger at your barbecue, but I'll eat the pasta salad even if has cheese in it, and I'll have some of your birthday cake even if it's made with eggs.

Anyway, my friend Alice- who is a militant, rather than a relaxed, vegan

• was over and I heated up what I confidently thought to be vegan sweet potato and black bean chilli that my partner had made earlier in the week. I know the recipe backwards and forwards because one of us makes it at least once a month with zero animal products so I had no reason to suspect otherwise. I must say it was especially delicious this time - because, as it turns out, my partner added some fish sauce because he'd read somewhere that it's good in chilli. I didn't find out until today and now I'm wondering if I should tell Alice? I can't decide if, in her shoes, I would want to know or not. Would you?

she didn't use the word....she used TWO words, one acted like a disclaimer

At the risk of stating the obvious, if people like the OP are really keen to avoid the arguments then there’s a very simple solution. Don’t use the word to self describe.

Christ, the language police is here.

Actually, I think the problem is no so much the “relaxed vegan” thing. It’s the idea that someone who is a vegan is a militant vegan. To me there are vegans, and there are people who eat vegan food sometimes.

@BertrandRussell

I sometimes eat food that’s vegan. I often eat food that’s vegetarian. I eat fish. And occasionally I eat meat. I see no reason to give the way I eat food I eat a name.

I think you are Vominourouspesciflexitarian.

I ate vegan food today, it was a carrot.

has a clear, universal, undisputed meaning

No... it doesn't. Sorry. Don't know how to break this to you.
I can find plenty websites that are organisations that define veganism & they don't use the British vegan society definition. The British one is especially strict. Because British definition not just about what you eat or even what products you use, but WHY you use them. You can only be a British vegan if you do it for animal welfare reasons. The motives are everything. Live like a vegan but without the animal welfare reasons, and you are NOT vegan according to the British Society.

SpruceEats: talks mostly about food, lifestyle choices are optional, and reasons are variable.

"If you're thinking of going vegan for health reasons" (this is not British veganism because it's for health not animal welfare)

Australia "Note only 10% of people chose veganism for environmental reasons" (and many of the others for health). So vegan is still mostly about food, and not only about animal welfare.

Bertrand. If you’d read the OPs posts you’d know that the term militant vegan was used because that’s exactly how the friend describes themself.

Nouveau veganism is less about altruism and more about self.

This thread would be 20 pages shorter if the OP hadn’t used words with such obvious positive and negative connotations (relaxed/militant) that were only ever going to get people’s backs up.

No... it doesn't. Sorry. Don't know how to break this to you.

I just looked up the dictionary (which is good for definitions, right?) and it says ‘person who doesn’t consume animal products’ 🤷‍♀️

I like the relaxed vegan phrase. My cousin is a relaxed vegan. She cooks vegan food at home, but doesn't really talk about it.
She also doesn't like to be rude when someone has made her a cuppa with milk or prepares food that has eggs/milk in. She has also been known to eat fish occasionally, when vegan has been confused with pescetarian.

It is not rude, when offered a cup of tea, to say yes please, but no milk thanks.

I'll take it to my grave...

How are there 22 pages on this

Bertrand, I wonder if we should define 'militant' precisely. Do you think the OP is suggesting a friend is a shouty s'arnt major in the army? :)

I just looked up the dictionary (which is good for definitions, right?) and it says ‘person who doesn’t consume animal products’

Which dictionary? You know there's more than one, right? And you know that dictionaries always lag behind actual language use, right?

Wow, this thread hasn't got any saner, has it? I'm reaching peak eye-roll here.

OP, who knew you could get so much flak over having the temerity to use a qualifier with a descriptive term?

As many vegans have already pointed out: that's not being a real vegan.

In order to be a real vegan, you have to be rude and entitled when somebody invites you to a party but makes a mistake with an ingredient, not realising they have done so?

It’s funny that people think that they own language. Language is for everyone! People can use it however they like.

It's that warm welcome attitude that I love about vegans! It's all about small steps after all ... oh no .. wait.

But why you need an inaccurate descriptor for that beyond ‘I try not to eat a lot of animal products’ I can’t fathom.

Wedding/ anniversary/birthday/corporate invite: meat option, vegetarian option, vegan option. Is there an option for ‘I try to eat a lot of animal products’? How will that help the caterers?

If a vegan is coming to my house to dinner ‘I try not to eat a lot of animal products’ is fuck all use to me. I need to know veggie as in no meat, or vegan as in no animal produce at all.

Nor do I care how committed said veggies/vegans are, I just want to know what to serve that won’t upset them.

OP, who knew you could get so much flak over having the temerity to use a qualifier with a descriptive term?

What is even more bizarre is that I can't think of any other term that people might aspire to but sometimes fall short of that would cause so much indignation!

Muslims who sometimes don't pray five times a day, marxists who can see that criticisms with dialectical materialism have some weight, fashionisti who sometimes slink round to Tesco in track-suit bottoms, I don't think any of them would be quite so vehemently disowned

Fiddlesticks

I'm teetotal. Apart from when I have a drink, obviously.

I'm obviously going to have to stop calling myself a Catholic, I've used birth control and ART.

No. My nephew is a militant vegan, but has told us that he accepts that these things happen - for him is intent is important, and the good intent was there. Nothing is to be gained from them knowing. On another note, why does fish sauce smell so bad, but make things taste so good!