... to not tell my militantly vegan friend she ate fish sauce?

[Snuffalo]

I am a relaxed vegan, as are one of my kids, the other kid and my partner are mostly vegetarian. Basically what that means for me is that I would never spend my own money on animal products, and I wouldn't use them in my own cooking, but if someone else prepares food for me or I'm a guest in someone's home I'll eat what's put in front of me, for the most part - I won't have a sausage or a burger at your barbecue, but I'll eat the pasta salad even if has cheese in it, and I'll have some of your birthday cake even if it's made with eggs.

Anyway, my friend Alice- who is a militant, rather than a relaxed, vegan

• was over and I heated up what I confidently thought to be vegan sweet potato and black bean chilli that my partner had made earlier in the week. I know the recipe backwards and forwards because one of us makes it at least once a month with zero animal products so I had no reason to suspect otherwise. I must say it was especially delicious this time - because, as it turns out, my partner added some fish sauce because he'd read somewhere that it's good in chilli. I didn't find out until today and now I'm wondering if I should tell Alice? I can't decide if, in her shoes, I would want to know or not. Would you?

@Ohnotheinlaws

Yeah, they have the char sui pork in there, don't they?

I was at a meal, dining with a muslim gentleman , and the pudding happened to be jam roly poly. I manged to put him off by suggesting that it might contain suet. I wasn't sure it that was permitted or not. I thought he could have requested some alternative, but he just had no pudding.

Chinese food, even that labelled vegetarian, probably contains Oyster sauce and has been cooked in the same pan as pork, unless you ask otherwise. I've taken vegetarians out for Chinese and not had the courage to tell them that Crispy Seaweed (V) is often covered in shrimp powder (although many use five spice in these enlightened times!) Sometimes ignorance is the better option.

“My husband is Muslim so doesn't eat pork“

Let’s hope he’s a “relaxed Muslim” you wouldn’t want him to be one of those twatty Muslims who stick to their religion’s dietary rules........

I used to be vegan, graduated from vegetarian for years.( I now guilty eat occasionl meat due to being dairy and gluten free through nessessity and find it very hard being all three and I have a child with food issues so just grateful if he eats )
ANYWAY my mum's vegi stew with pulses was the best....all my vegi friends loved it....nine of us coyld make it taste as good as she did.....turns out she secretly added a knorr chicken stock cube for flavour every time

TBF Bertrand, although I wouldn't dream of calling then "twatty" I have met a lot of Muslim men who only follow the dietary rules when their wives are watching At a business lunch they seemed to forget no alcohol or pork etc

A veggie stew doesnt need a chicken stock cube for flavour!

I'm omnivore but prefer a veg chilli to beef chilli, much better flavours.

Your friend isn’t “militantly vegan”. She’s actually vegan whereas you’re not.

Im a meat eater and know this 😂😂😂 seriously OP, if you don't eat meat but have animal products your vegetarian, if you eat meat occasionally you are not 🙄

You know the outraged threads that are posted on here about Muslim kids never attending play dates.

This is why.

Very few people properly actually respect other people’s beliefs and cater for dietary requirements.

And OP, you’re not a vegan if you eat cake with eggs in and food with fish sauce in it.

I must about the only person on MN, who properly caters for vegetarian and pescatarian and vegan friends. I read ingredients, I research recipes and I take a lot of pleasure in catering for their dietary requirements and give them food they’ll be enjoy.

Threads like these make very wary of accepting invitations from anyone other than close family or friends.

@frazzledasarock I am always free if you want a dinner guest.

Although I have been told I am not fun

@frazzledasarock - agreed. A lot of lazy thickos on this thread.

You're not vegan if all you do is follow a vegan diet....

Relaxed vegan- never heard anything so ridiculous. Youre either vegan or you’re not

Most proclaimed vegans aren't vegans.

@Gth1234 I thought beef suet was OK but if not I have been giving him beef stew and dumplings throughout our while marriage he has also eaten sweets with pork gelatine in them many times... I just can't face telling him as he would be mortified!

You mean you're not vegan but your friend is. Don't tell her but check everything you give her from now on as she clearly trusts you to respect her choices.

Although I have been told I am not fun

Yes. Apparently you need to eat dead animals to be fun.

So you're not a vegan, or a good friend. Why tell her? Unless you want to upset her. I repeat you're not a vegan, don't go round saying you are, because you're not.

I don’t understand why you are calling yourself a vegan when you’re clearly not.

My daughter has been vegetarian since she was young (aged 10). She now eats vegan when she can - if she's cooking for herself, if she has a choice on the menu - but she says she doesn't want to be a "fussy" vegan and make people uncomfortable so, if the only option available for her has dairy or eggs in it, then she'll eat it.

She does a lot of work in developing countries where people share what little food they have with guests and she doesn't feel it's right to be rude and turn something down just because she's lucky enough to have the option of eating whatever she wants rather than just what's available.

No and you're not vegan. Not even strictly plant based.
Not even vegetarian if you would eat fish sauce.
No such thing as a 'relaxed vegan' Vegans are activists and by definition wouldn't eat the things you will just because someone else prepares them, are you mad? Don't tell your friend it will just make her feel sick.

There are some spectacularly rude people on this thread.

Ignoring the OPs diet as this isn't the point of the thread - no, OP, I wouldn't tell your friend. It's done now and you can't change it but she would feel horrific if she knew, so don't tell her.

Yes- it’s amazing how Mumsnet hates vegans and vegetarians. Being incredibly rude to them while going on about how rude vegans are.

@Ohnotheinlaws

Gth1234 I thought beef suet was OK but if not I have been giving him beef stew and dumplings throughout our while marriage he has also eaten sweets with pork gelatine in them many times... I just can't face telling him as he would be mortified!

How would beef suet be ok unless it was from a halal cow? You do seem very uninformed about what halal is. Anything from meat and poultry that is not halal is not OK.

However, your DH is a grown adult who should be checking his sweets himself to see if there is gelatine in them.

But if you're cooking him meals and tricking him that they're halal then that's also unacceptable.

I must about the only person on MN, who properly caters for vegetarian and pescatarian and vegan friends. I read ingredients, I research recipes and I take a lot of pleasure in catering for their dietary requirements and give them food they’ll be enjoy.

Yes, you certainly are! No one else is as morally superior as you. I personally strive to sabotage people whenever possible, it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.

Btw, that chilli is delicious! I put fish sauce in mine, though.

“she would feel horrific if she knew, so don't tell her.”

She probably wouldn’t- most vegans I know would be a bit annoyed but move on. But I know real vegans, not Viz comic caricatures! But still don’t tell her. No need.