... to not tell my militantly vegan friend she ate fish sauce?

[Snuffalo]

I am a relaxed vegan, as are one of my kids, the other kid and my partner are mostly vegetarian. Basically what that means for me is that I would never spend my own money on animal products, and I wouldn't use them in my own cooking, but if someone else prepares food for me or I'm a guest in someone's home I'll eat what's put in front of me, for the most part - I won't have a sausage or a burger at your barbecue, but I'll eat the pasta salad even if has cheese in it, and I'll have some of your birthday cake even if it's made with eggs.

Anyway, my friend Alice- who is a militant, rather than a relaxed, vegan

• was over and I heated up what I confidently thought to be vegan sweet potato and black bean chilli that my partner had made earlier in the week. I know the recipe backwards and forwards because one of us makes it at least once a month with zero animal products so I had no reason to suspect otherwise. I must say it was especially delicious this time - because, as it turns out, my partner added some fish sauce because he'd read somewhere that it's good in chilli. I didn't find out until today and now I'm wondering if I should tell Alice? I can't decide if, in her shoes, I would want to know or not. Would you?

@Dorsetdays - I'm OP!

@Dorsetdays - oh god sorry - I'm the one who's confused! Sorry! And thanks :)

Defo don't tell her! It would only cause upset over something that can't be changed! Don't worry about it. No harm done x

Sorry snuffalo. Cross posted there and ended up responding to wrong person!

Just feels like these threads end up simply adding to the perception that vegans are preachy and smug. Really doesn’t help those who just want to get on with their own personal choices and make a difference.

Surely this bickering can be solved by simply substituting the phrase "I follow a mostly vegan diet" for the one that has caused the frothing?

Absolutely soup. So when anyone who feels aggrieved about the phrase hears it, they can quietly substitute it with “I follow a mostly vegan diet” in their heads and then go about their day.

Problem solved 👍🏻

@Dorsetdays

And at the same time replace "militant vegan friend" with "vegan friend"

It was the comparison the OP made between herself as reasonable and her friend as militant which made the distinction relevant.

I wouldn't tell her.

Maximus. Then perhaps the OPs friend will also replace her badge that proclaims her a ‘militant vegan’ if that’s not how she wishes to be described by others?

@MaximusHeadroom sounds the most militant

a lot of vegans aren't much fun, who knew!

@Snidpan

Probably. But in RL I am actually very relaxed.

Maximus. Relaxed? Not a ‘relaxed vegan’ I hope! 😂

@Dorsetdays

Only at breakfast

Phew....👌🏼

I have made the moral choice for myself not to financially support the meat and dairy industries, but I don't expect other people to go out of their way to cater for my personal moral choice

I would summarise this as you're a vegan but you're not a twat about it.

As many vegans have already pointed out: that's not being a real vegan.

nice one

Hold on, you can be a vegan and consume meat because that qualifies as a vegan who’s not being a twat about it? Ok.
Thanks for clarifying that

Hold on, you can be a vegan and consume meat because that qualifies as a vegan who’s not being a twat about it? Ok.

Some people have daft ideas. It's bad enough thinking vegans can use manure or have pets. Which silly bugger said that?

@Snuffalo I blame the nouveau vegans, who seem to be most earnest about it all.

I haven’t eaten meat for most of my life, and have been known to describe myself as virtually vegan as I didn’t actively consume dairy and eggs for a couple of decades. I would, however, eat something with small amounts of the stuff, but never meat, if it had been lovingly prepared for me.

I don’t give many shits about animals, I’ll start worrying about them when all the humans in the world are treated with kindness and respect.

nouveau vegans
I love this

@Snuffalo

You are Humpty Dumpty, and I claim my five pounds.

“When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

@Snuffalo I certainly wasn't having a go at you, more that he thought the roasties were particularly tasty and didn't read the label properly and we clearly weren't going to be the ones to tell him. If he enjoyed them, that's great surely, as your friend did.

And I LOVE the term 'relaxed vegan', it sums up my vegetarianism really. I am moving towards veganism for DD and I, but its more of a choice for most days of the week. Others, I can really kill for some cheese.

As for the lentil typo, I was channelling my inner pulses.

My husband is Muslim so doesn't eat pork , we ordered Chinese Singapore noodles the other week where I am pretty sure there was pork it it. I haven't told him, I can't face the thought of upsetting him like that when he can live blissfully unaware! I agree with everyone else, don't say anything !

@northerngirl2012 no need to kill for cheese, unless it’s parmesan, but that’s another thread entirely...