... to not tell my militantly vegan friend she ate fish sauce?

[Snuffalo]

I am a relaxed vegan, as are one of my kids, the other kid and my partner are mostly vegetarian. Basically what that means for me is that I would never spend my own money on animal products, and I wouldn't use them in my own cooking, but if someone else prepares food for me or I'm a guest in someone's home I'll eat what's put in front of me, for the most part - I won't have a sausage or a burger at your barbecue, but I'll eat the pasta salad even if has cheese in it, and I'll have some of your birthday cake even if it's made with eggs.

Anyway, my friend Alice- who is a militant, rather than a relaxed, vegan

• was over and I heated up what I confidently thought to be vegan sweet potato and black bean chilli that my partner had made earlier in the week. I know the recipe backwards and forwards because one of us makes it at least once a month with zero animal products so I had no reason to suspect otherwise. I must say it was especially delicious this time - because, as it turns out, my partner added some fish sauce because he'd read somewhere that it's good in chilli. I didn't find out until today and now I'm wondering if I should tell Alice? I can't decide if, in her shoes, I would want to know or not. Would you?

Are you? I just see people posting on Instagram about their 'rescue' puppy that they actually bought from a dealer off Gumtree.

See this is the problem.

People think that the type of vegan who would say ‘no thanks on the birthday cake it has egg in it’
Are actually some crazy sect of vegans who are akin to people throwing blood around in pigs masks when in actual fact they are are just vegans following the vegan lifestyle.

It appears the only acceptable type of vegans are the ones who don’t actually follow a vegan lifestyle and will have a bit of cake or cheese if offered.

@furrytoebean

But there’s a difference between trying your best in a non vegan world and eating animal products if the rest of your family are.

You are misrepresenting. OP’s family is veggie/vegan, it’s just the odd time out of the home that she has eaten something with egg or cheese so as to make others happy or not be wasteful.

a lot of pp on here today with their 'ideas' of part veggie / vegan, if you eat meat, fish every day or once a week you aren't vegan or veggie. stop being total twats, op giggling really ? how old are you ??

People think that the type of vegan who would say ‘no thanks on the birthday cake it has egg in it’ Are actually some crazy sect of vegans who are akin to people throwing blood around in pigs masks when in actual fact they are are just vegans following the vegan lifestyle.*

That’s not true. It’s clear OP would never buy or make a birthday egg with cake in it but she would eat a bit on the rare occasion she is with non-vegans.

OP’s family is veggie/vegan, it’s just the odd time out of the home that she has eaten something with egg or cheese so as to make others happy or not be wasteful.

That’s not true, otherwise they wouldn’t have put fish sauce in chilli.

stop being total twats, op giggling really ? how old are you ?

Maybe you could stop bullying the OP, feckety?

Why shouldn’t OP laugh at someone telling her fish aren’t vegetables?

That’s not true, otherwise they wouldn’t have put fish sauce in chilli.

She has already explained that. It’s OP’s veggie husband who makes an exception for fish sauce, not OP, so why harangue her for it?

What I find difficult is people who say they are vegetarian or vegan, but then tell me they don't eat most vegetables.

Can someone explain how this works?

For those of you bent out of shape because I dared to use the word vegan to describe myself - 'relaxed vegan' is just a shorthand way to say that I have made the moral choice for myself not to financially support the meat and dairy industries, but I don't expect other people to go out of their way to cater for my personal moral choice

I would summarise this as you're a vegan but you're not a twat about it.

Nothing wrong with that. It isn't always easy for people to cater for vegans, and people do make mistakes. You have a choice to make them feel like crap about it, or to appreciate the effort and tuck in.

I wouldn't tell your friend, but might be worth reminding your husband about cooking for vegans.

It’s OP’s veggie husband who makes an exception for fish sauce,

That sentence makes no sense. You can’t be a veggie that makes an exception for fish sauce!

Vegetarians don’t eat fish.

The issue is that if people think that you can be vegan or veggie and occasionally eat meat or make exceptions for birthday cake then it makes the vegetarians and vegans that actually follow the lifestyle appear to be unbending weirdos.

I don’t think vegans should have pets but someone will come along to tell you that they’ve got rescue dogs/cats and they are helping them.

Isn't that akin to eating the meat because the cow is already dead?

I would summarise this as you're a vegan but you're not a twat about it.

Case and point.

If you’re a vegan who follows a vegan diet and won’t just eat animal products to keep the peace then you’re a twat.

I’m genuinely not sure what some posters are trying to achieve here.

Are you trying to convince non vegans to become vegans?

Are you trying to stop the OP and others from using the word vegan if they so choose?

Are you trying to help dismiss the stereotype that some vegans are preachy and intolerant?

If so, I think you’ve failed.

In fact, I think it’s the opposite of achieving anything at all and it’s now becoming detrimental. Maybe best to stop.

I think people are trying to point out the incessant empty virtue signalling takes meaning away from other people.
Its like pretending to be a Christian, or a teetotaller.

must realise that there's an enormous difference between using manure to grow organic veg and eating animal flesh, yes?

But not a lot different from choosing not to eat honey because of the bees. Manure comes from animals bred for farming, mostly. Surely as a vegan you wouldn't want a by product of farming to be used to feed your plants?

As I said earlier in this now-ridiculously-long thread, my half-Thai husband has fish sauce and claims it’s OK because Thai Buddhist monks (who are vegetarian for religious reasons) will eat it. I can’t find any actual proof of this and anyway, I tell him, he’s not a Buddhist or a monk, he says I can pry the fish sauce out of his cold, dead hands. It’s not a hill I’m going to die on. He doesn’t actually cook much Thai food, sadly, and we’ve had the same bottle for years.

Also why are people so upset that I laughed a little bit at something stupid someone said? I was alone, I laughed aloud, albeit quietly- I tend to do stupid stuff like that when no one is around. Is it the word ‘giggle’ that you don’t like? Is it one of those words like ‘moist’ that everyone loves to hate? This place is so weird sometimes.

antigon if i was really bullying op she'd certainly know about it and i'd probably get banned, please feel free to report the 'offending' post.
i am generally easy going on mn with my replies and try to be understanding, but she described herself as giggling not laughing [someone else picked up on that up thread, so moan at them too].
like many pp on here i think she has some very strange ideas about her diet and doesn't do us veggies or vegans any favours as a result.

The way some people have come across on this thread I’m not sure others will really care whether they do you a ’favour’ or not.

Nobody cares what your personal lifestyle choices are. Genuinely. You think they do because you choose to share them with everyone but honestly people don’t care.

As long as you’re happy with your choices then why worry so much about other people’s choices. It’s weird.

I like the term relaxed vegan. I sat next to one at a wedding, he went to great lentil let us know he was flexible & just ate the vegan friendly buffet. DH & I marvelled at how he wolfed down the goose fat toast potatoes, thinking perhaps he hadn’t seen that part of the labelling.

@northerngirl2012 I like how you slipped lentils in there....

@northerngirl2012 I know you're trying to have a pop at me but luckily your 'great lentil' typo makes it all OK.

@fecketyfeck21

antigon if i was really bullying op she'd certainly know about it and i'd probably get banned, please feel free to report the 'offending' post.

Yes, if I reported your post telling to stop being a twat, it would get deleted. I can't be arsed but maybe someone else will.

And you admit you have the capacity to bully someone? Saying if you wanted to bully OP she'd know about it is quite threatening behaviour.

i am generally easy going on mn with my replies and try to be understanding, but she described herself as giggling not laughing

So who made you the word police? OP can giggle if she wants to!

[someone else picked up on that up thread, so moan at them too].

So you didn't like being singled out but are more than happy to target OP and call her a twat?

like many pp on here i think she has some very strange ideas about her diet and doesn't do us veggies or vegans any favours as a result.

That's your opinion. I don't think they're strange. I know who I would rather come across in a dark alley between you and Op and it ain't you.

@Dorsetdays there are literally multiple people in this thread who are going to great lengths to repeatedly tell me what they think about my lifestyle choices, are you confused, or....?

Those people are responding to you. Because you’re trying to tell the OP what words she’s allowed to use and which she isn’t.

You’re really not achieving anything if you’re trying to change people’s opinions...have you not picked that up yet?