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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Monsters in law?

105 replies

Monsteres · 15/06/2019 17:05

AIBU to be annoyed that the PIL have decided to "pop in" uninvited!? Got a 3 month old have PND and this isn't just a cup of tea pop in they've driven 12 hours and will have to stay in the house with us, theyve brung their 3 dogs and are always rude to me when visiting (having digs about my weight, the house, our dogs, my cooking etc) and I just don't want them here! We said we'd let them know when we could make a free weekend so they could come visit but they've just decided to come up anywauly, meaning I've had to cancel all our plans for the weekend now, I'm absolutely raging! Is it just the PND or is this out of order?

OP posts:
Malyshek · 15/06/2019 17:25

Or yeah go to the movies and be out when they get there. They'll find the door locked, as they should. Turn off your phone and go eat out after the movie. If they're still here in front of the house when you get back, they can get kicked out then.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 15/06/2019 17:26

Your DH needs to tell them that your all not sleeping under the same roof. Either they go or you and baby are going.

Alsohuman · 15/06/2019 17:26

Bit difficult to go to the movies with a small baby.

BlueMerchant · 15/06/2019 17:28

They'll have to go to a premier inn or something. Not on. Will mean you will have to host the dogs though?

WorraLiberty · 15/06/2019 17:30

DH has my back he's going to have a word when they get here as he wants to talk to them in person not over the phone

You mean he didn't tell them to turn back because you two won't be home, as you have plans? Confused

Original poster
Monsteres · 15/06/2019 17:31

Glad I'm not being out of order! Already said they'll have to sort themselves out for food etc as I don't have anything in, it's just tricky cos I don't want to deprive DS of a relationship with that set of grandparents as they do live so far away they don't get to see him often but I'm just a bit in shock that they think this is acceptable?!

OP posts:
mawof3soontobe · 15/06/2019 17:31

Nine bloody dogs a newborn baby and extended family in a house?!!

4under4our · 15/06/2019 17:31

This goes beyond rude, it's also seriously strange. On what planet would is behaviour like this acceptable! No help I'm afraid OP, I just can't believe they've done this!

NoSauce · 15/06/2019 17:31

They drove 12 hours without telling you they were coming?

Original poster
Monsteres · 15/06/2019 17:32

They were half an hour away when they told us #WorraLiberty so think he was as in shock as I was

OP posts:
mbosnz · 15/06/2019 17:33

I'm glad DH is supporting you. He needs to have more than a word with them, he needs to have VERY strong words with them - because they obviously have the hides of a bloody herd of Rhino's.

prawnpatrol · 15/06/2019 17:34

OP you need to find a local Mumsnetter to drive to you asap and be there to open the door for them.
"Ms Monsteres? Sorry no, they don't live here anymore, I take it you are here to pay their outstanding bills? That will be £3000"

WorraLiberty · 15/06/2019 17:34

Who even travels in a car for 12 hours with 3 dogs in it?

Drum2018 · 15/06/2019 17:35

I wouldn't be making up a bed for them. If mil starts rearranging things tell her to stop. Just don't put up with their behaviour. Can't believe anyone would drive 12 hours to visit anyone. Where the hell do they live?

Original poster
Monsteres · 15/06/2019 17:36

@NoSauce yup!! Not sure what goes through their heads?!

OP posts:
ThanosSavedMe · 15/06/2019 17:37

That’s outrageous. I’m glad he’s in your side. I would carry on with your plans and ask what hotel they’re staying at. I would also tell them that they can’t stay at yours because they don’t have boundaries and have snooped through your things in the past. It wasn’t helpful it was rude.

Original poster
Monsteres · 15/06/2019 17:37

@Drum2018 we live in the middle of nowhere in Scotland

OP posts:
RuggerHug · 15/06/2019 17:38

Don't answer the door if they haven't arrived yet!!

Original poster
Monsteres · 15/06/2019 17:40

@prawnpatrol omg that would be amazing!! DH is going to talk to them I'm too angry don't think the words will come out

OP posts:
Hedgehogblues · 15/06/2019 17:42

Don't let them in

AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/06/2019 17:45

"it's just tricky cos I don't want to deprive DS of a relationship with that set of grandparents as they do live so far away they don't get to see him often but I'm just a bit in shock that they think this is acceptable?!"

Such people like his parents ignore everyone else around them and only go by what they want to do. They must be pretty bloody minded anyway to drive 12 hours (where on earth do these people live?) and with 3 dogs in tow.

You cannot apply reasoned thinking to those who are clearly not reasonable people to deal with. You would not tolerate this from a friend, his parents are no different really.

Get that mad above thought out of your head, it will come back to bite you. You would not be depriveing your son of anything if he was not to have any sort of relationship with his paternal grandparents. If they are too batshit/mad/difficult for you and your H to deal with, its the same deal for him too. DO not subject him to such awful sounding and frankly toxic people. His parents were not good parents to him when he was growing up and they have not changed an iota.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/06/2019 17:46

I suggest you find your words, op. They should know EXACTLY how pissed off your are. What they have done is not even remotely normal or acceptable. If your relationship with them breaks down over this, who cares? This is entirely their doing.

LegalFlamingo · 15/06/2019 17:46

Cheeky Bastards! I’d be sending them to a hotel and all, no matter how far the nearest hotel was!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/06/2019 17:46

Do not let them into your home under any circumstances.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 15/06/2019 17:49

Kick back, or they will do this all the more. They're showing contempt for your boundaries and you need to assert them firmly now or expect this to be your future.

You say you've cancelled your plans: if at all possible you need to remake them ASAP. Glad to see your DH intends to 'have a word', but things really do need to go further than that. Capitulate to their CF'ery this time and you'll never know when another carefully-planned (or even peaceful, lazy) weekend is going to be hijacked like this. They're not in control here: they don't get to dictate.