To ask you to share your unexpected menopause symptoms

[GraceMarks]

I've been perimenopausal for about a year now, and I thought I was pretty well-read about what it would involve. But some of the things I've experienced have come as a particularly unpleasant surprise and I was wondering if others had found the same! Perhaps if we share some of the things we've been through it will help other women to be prepared when they reach that time in their lives too.

So, aside from the usual hot flushes and night sweats and irregular periods, I've had:

Ovulation flu! I don't have a better term for it really, but every time I ovulate now, I get weird flu-like symptoms such as aching muscles, swollen neck glands, and suddenly feeling cold and tired all the time. It took me a while to make the connection with the time of the month, and I thought I was just getting a bit of a cold, but it only ever lasts for a couple of days and then goes away completely.

The fatigue. Even after getting what seems to be enough sleep.

Weirdly, the lower back pain I've suffered with for more than a decade has more or less gone, but now I get joint pain in my knees and elbows instead. It's much worse a couple of days before a period.

Anyone else had any symptoms they didn't expect, and did they go away once you were completely through the menopause?

Poor excuse the driving anxiety!! I had to stop. May restart again.

One positive - I do not miss my periods one little bit!
Another vote for the weak shaky feelings. They’re awful. Oh & incredible tiredness, like being drugged.

Menopause is a serious business, women spent the rest of their lives in asylums, due to menopause symptoms, years ago!
All the women in my family just sailed through it, periods stopped, that was it, except for me! It caused horrendous endo, a huge chocolate cyst, arthritis, I had a bad breakdown, incontinence, tiredness verging on narcolepsy...the list goes on, I am nearly 56 and still getting the odd period here and there, my g.p. was 62 when she finished, that will be me...
Still theres worst things that can happen!

I’ve never heard of ovulation flu before. Wondering if that’s what I’ve been getting. Really tired and nauseous quite often with no apparent reason, mimicking flu symptoms . Hmm.

All my hypermobility symptoms have got worse. For a couple of years I walked like a puppet on strings if I'd been walking more than half a mile. I walk like I have been on the falling down water. I do fall over, wobble, lose my balance. My knees have got loser, my hips hurt more, walking tolerance has decreased, but is increasing again.

Itching all over
Headaches
Fatigue
Night sweats
Warm flushes( I run cold so hot flushes generally warm me up to just over normal)
Murderous rage
Grumpiness
Hair loss
Some nausea
Lots of orthostatic hypotension. Have to keep moving or fall over.
Had a phase where bo got worse and not very controllable with deodorant.
Anxiety, scared of lots more.
And memory loss/ brain fog.

I love you all so much for this thread! I was starting to get suspicious, but you've connected a lot of dots for me.

Early 40s and I swear I woke up one morning having put on 2 stone overnight, right in my middle, to the point I can't even force anything but the baggiest lazy-day clothes onto my body. One pair of particularly massive "work round the house" shorts would fall right off me no more than 3 months ago, and now I literally cannot pull them up over my newly massive arse. Bloody nightmare, I'm built like a fist on a stick now!

And seemingly on that same morning, I also woke up to:

• The bastard brain fog! I lose simple words like gate, rope, text, pencil, wheel...
• Never could tolerate cold, now too bloody warm all the time. So looking forward to summer.
• Why am I sweating? Why am I sweating?! WHY?
• Eyesight gone to shit
• Knees of fucking glass and fire
• What the hell are these palpitations?! Why the fuck is my heart suddenly pounding just sitting watching TV?
• Evil migraines. Never had any before.
• Psoriasis, hooray. Best bit is under my nose and next to my nostrils. Red, dry, and angry forever.
• JAVELIN ARSE!
• Can't taste a fucking thing. Jalapenos in everything just to feel alive. Sometimes I sip the spicy brine. Who does that?
• Flooding
• Each period longer, heavier, more painful than the last
• Though you could set your watch to them now, when they'd always been erratic before (not sure if any of the words here are the correct ones but fuck it)
• Fanny batter and the wet itchy fanny, ughhh
• That! Fucking! Itching!
• Bouts of extreme horniness, never at a convenient time
• Bouts of extreme, crushing despair out of nowhere
• Lethargy and the energy level and motivation of a wet sock
• Straight pubes! Bizarre!
• My hair can go to hell
• So can my spots
• And my massive fat sore tits
• Had some fine (and some not so fine) lines for years, but they're now deep creases like bloody scars
• Distinct change in all sorts of body smells
• Did I mention my fucking knees? They hurt.
• RRRRAAAAAAAGGGEEE! Oh, wait, nevermind.
• What was I saying?
• Oh yes, the nausea! Now realising the timing of that, so thanks ladies.
• Can't sleep. Bollocks.
• Fucking beard and mustache weheeeyyyyyyy!

There is one other lovely surprise I've not seen mentioned here: SWEATY FEET! My feet are soaking wet all the time now it seems! If there is anything at all touching my feet - socks, slippers, the sofa and/or my leg if I curl up, the bedding, a dog, the floor, fucking AIR - the stuoid arseholes wrap themselves in a nice cosy jumper of slimy, stinky sweat, even if the rest of me is freezing cold. My socks look like I'd found them under a teenage boy's bed when I take them off, all stiff and crusty! Anyone else got that?

@whatisforteamum I've got a friend who has just given up driving. I wish I could. I'm generally OK around my local area but dread anything longer. I also had a mild panic attack in a coop I don't normally shop in because I couldn't find any tinned potatoes. I am astounded at the person I've become. I hate it. 😩

Bloody hell this is all so eye-opening. And typical that we have to all rely on each other rather than being treated properly.

Did anybody else experience COMPLETE LOSS OF SELF-CONFIDENCE.

I have had a very successful career and suddenly couldn't handle anything without feeling completely useless and like everything I do is shit. I felt useless and like my life was over.

What’s javelin arse?!

@poorexcuse @Sicario

Yes. I have always been a very logical, black and white person. This anxiety is horrendous. Having been to the GP yesterday, you would have thought it would have helped. Instead it’s almost as though it’s brought it all to a head. Had the worst anxiety attack I have ever had yesterday evening.

Not going to let it beat me though.

Hello my lovelies. Oh how I needed this thread. Thank you, op

t's the brain fog that I'm finding hardest to cope with . Famous names, book titles and film titles are the worst. I am constantly saying 'I think it begins with a B' . I feel really stupid having conversations with people when my thoughts just freeze. I can't watch Pointless with dh anymore because he's continued to be quite good and I'm totally shit. I know the answer but can't find the word . Thank fuck for Google or I'd spend my while life just wracking my brains trying to remember names.

Oh and the bleeding. Periods every 3 weeks that last 2 weeks.

Horrible thickening waist. I'm pear shaped and have always had a small waist to balance out my hips/thighs. Now I look like a potato.

I wondered what the fuck was happening to my eyebrows. Now I know.

I've not had breast pain ... yet. But I've taken 5000 mg of starflower oil every day for years now so maybe that's working?

Javelin arse
Breast pain
Forgetfulness
Sheer exhaustion
Insomnia

Lethargy - I could literally sit on the sofa ALL day watching mindless TV. I have to have a mad half-hour before DP comes home, hoovering and tidying because I've done fuck-all for 10 hours.
Me too!

but apparently the aches are just ‘getting older’.
Whilst there is some truth in this, I've just had a total hysterectomy (including ovaries) and I have most definitely got a lot stiffer very quickly and I don't believe it is coincidence. If I sit for more than a few minutes and when I get up my ankles, hips and back are seized and I'm bent and waddle like an old women until I get moving again. My hands also suddenly started aching when I knit where they didn't before.

disinclination to be polite to stupid men
Well, that can be counted as a win.,🤣

Honestly, being a woman really sucks. I was sort of looking forward to the menopause as an end to periods and hormonal migraines but now I've gone through it, migraines are more frequent and a whole host of other 'inconveniences' have replaced the bloody monthlies.

The hair loss and male pattern baldness. Feel too old for a fringe but my forehead is bigger than my face now.

Really bad dry eyes.

So bad I would have to pull over whilst driving as my eyes were watering so badly I couldn't see and I was in agony.

Worse at night. I don't drive in the dark now unless it's unavoidable.

Most of these. I'm 41 and it wasn't until periods went haywire last year that I realised what was underlying all of these seemingly separate symptoms. I also often can't trust myself to speak out loud, and end up saying another word that rhymes with the word that I'm trying to say. Also saying the opposite of what I'm thinking. Does anyone else have this?

Constant weight gain despite eating next to nothing and not drinking alcohol

This thread is like several lightbulbs going in at once
I'm going to go back and read properly
But thank you so much for this

I am as horny as an 18 year old but only at a certain time of the month..all I think about is sex ...

The raging horn, particularly when ovulating, but the week before and after too.

My menopausal symptoms were hair thinning, chin hairs, straight pubes, terrible eyebrows, aching joints, horrible twitchy legs when I was trying to relax, anxiety, memory loss, loss of confidence (hardly ever drive now and refuse to drive in the dark as I can't see a thing), weight gain and occasional night sweats. Since starting HRT I've started to feel a bit better about life, although having checked my list of symptoms, I can't say any of them have vanished, so it's hard to say why I feel things have improved.

I noticed my eyes were always stinging and watering outside in the cold but I put it down to tiredness. I went to the optician who said I had really dry eyes and recommended moisturising eye drops and omega supplements. That's really helped a lot.

Before starting on HRT I had developed irrational fear of driving and my legs were really weak when I got up in the morning. HRT has cured all that, much to my relief. I had no idea these random things were linked to menopause until I read it on MN! Still find it difficult to sleep though...

Shocking headaches. Almost never had a headache in my life until I reached meno. Now I get at least one a week and no painkillers touch them. I wake up with it and I know that’s my day buggered - nothing helps barring a night’s sleep.

Achy hands.

Itchy skin.

OMG ‘ovulation flu’! Three month in a row I was convinced I had the flu and was so ill I took a day off work only to get my period and the ‘flu’ disappear. It was months before I connected the dots and realised it was related to ovulation and was a fake flu but boy do I feel shit when it hits.

Can you get menopausal feet? Not sure if it's connected or just general ageing but walking on hard floors is so painful. Bare feet is a no no unless I am on carpet. Outside, unless I wear trainers which are quite soft and padded, even flat shoes hurt the soles of my feet. Don't know what can help with this. I think the fat from my feet has moved up to my bottom!