To ask you to share your unexpected menopause symptoms

[GraceMarks]

I've been perimenopausal for about a year now, and I thought I was pretty well-read about what it would involve. But some of the things I've experienced have come as a particularly unpleasant surprise and I was wondering if others had found the same! Perhaps if we share some of the things we've been through it will help other women to be prepared when they reach that time in their lives too.

So, aside from the usual hot flushes and night sweats and irregular periods, I've had:

Ovulation flu! I don't have a better term for it really, but every time I ovulate now, I get weird flu-like symptoms such as aching muscles, swollen neck glands, and suddenly feeling cold and tired all the time. It took me a while to make the connection with the time of the month, and I thought I was just getting a bit of a cold, but it only ever lasts for a couple of days and then goes away completely.

The fatigue. Even after getting what seems to be enough sleep.

Weirdly, the lower back pain I've suffered with for more than a decade has more or less gone, but now I get joint pain in my knees and elbows instead. It's much worse a couple of days before a period.

Anyone else had any symptoms they didn't expect, and did they go away once you were completely through the menopause?

GIGANTIC breasts.
Seriously. My friend also has them.

You know those little old women who kind of hobble along with huge rockets in their tops? They got them at menopause!

What joke is this?? Lose sex drive but gain gigantic breasts?

Also, my friend told me that hot flashes are controlled by staying calm.

I tried to control my new found anxiety and she was right.

Even random things that I now worry about cause them. Realizing that has helped control the horrible perspiration.

Best of luck.

Also, losing pubic hair pretty much startled me...and made me sad.

I got curly hair from stress. It fell out then came back curly. I don't recognize myself any more.

Big boobs and curly hair. Wa-hoo.

Most of these. All the more horrific for descending on me suddenly, pretty much overnight, as I was put into medical menopause to treat oestrogen-positive breast cancer. I can't have HRT, obviously.

The worst of it for me has been the night sweats and the brain fog. I'm taking Oxybutynin now, which helps massively with the hot flushes. Not with the thingymabob stuff though.

I forgot breasts. I have always had big ones and I have lost a couple of stone and they are still too big. Annoying.

Agree with justasking111 about being relieved we're having such a "crap" summer. I've never been a hot weather person anyway, but now I'd say my upper limit is about 18°C. When other people are complaining about the lack of sun, I keep my mouth shut because being happy with cold and rain is "miserable" apparently - although constantly whinging about it apparently isn't!

The floods & the BO - it really is a gift that keeps on giving.

With regards to tests, i read some great advice. If you ask for a test but GP refuses, tell them you want their refusal added on your medical notes. That way you have a record should you need it later.

Someone mentioned noise sensitivity - I think I have a bit of this!
Aches, rages/short patience (not good when you have young dcs, jumping around the place and making it into a tip). I just want to lie low but can't I also have itchiness (down below), lack of libido, brain fog.

My GP hasn't really taken me seriously (I was told I was headed for an early menopause 5 years ago, so symptoms make sense). However, I have private health insurance and have pushed for a gynae appointment (on account of the itching - menopause not covered), otherwise, I doubt very much I would have secured this appointment (GPs words, I don't think you need a referral). I also hate the heat so, I'm not moaning about the rain but do need it to dry up soon as going on holiday in this country at the end of July.

My GP was dismissive too, just printed out loads of info that I could have read online and spent the appointment fiddling with the printer.

I also found that staying calm helps massively with hot flushes and that kicking off shoes immediately helps too. Everyone's flushes are different though, mine would come and go really quite quickly, chest upwards and feet mainly, multiple times a day. A friend was whole body, lasted ages but less regularly.

@GraceMarks - I had exactly the same thing with my libido. I turned into a nymphomaniac for about six months. Like you I concluded it was my body's last ditch attempt to get pregnant. I remember thinking at the time 'this must be how a lot of teenage boys feel'. It was quite fun, but pretty exhausting. I men my now husband at that time. I think he thought all his birthdays had come at once! I am 20 years post menopause now, and honestly, sexual feelings are almost a thing of the past.
I also used to get terrible nerve pains in my legs -shooting stabbing pains that would last for seconds, but make you gasp. And getting fixated on things, unable to get a thought or phrase out of my head. Used to drive me mad.
Migraines. Rarely had them before the menopause, then during, nearly every month. I used to rattle with painkillers. Haven't had one for 20 years now.

One up side (because there has to be something) being intolerant of hot sunny days meant that sitting out in the sun became a thing of the past. I used to have a lot of sun damage, dark patches, year round freckled face and that has now gone. While the expression lines and jowls are all bedded in the overall colour of my skin is much better and healthier than it used to be.There endeth the good bit.

My increased tolerance of cold has definite advantages. I don't need to layer up anywhere as much as I used to, and often I can do without a coat, which makes me feel unencumbered! I can also swim at my local lido when it's too cold for most people, meaning I get the pool more or less to myself.

No libido at all (poor DH)
Enormous knockers
Massive belly
Dry skin
Short temper
Sore ankles, knees and feet
Forgetful
Itchy fanjo
Night sweats
Grey hair
Wayward eyebrows
Chin and lip hair

Jesus. Even I wouldn't want to shag me.

Pretty well all of these - hadn't thought of the psoriasis as a menopause symptom though. I find drinking an infusion of sage leaves helps with the hot flushes and that slathering myself with thyme oil (Thymeout - available on Amazon) helps with the itching. I am also inflicting far too many beans on my family.

I am quite sad about my bush. The new hair on my chin doesn't make up for the loss at all.

A colleague was a life long psoriasis sufferer. When her meno kicked in it disappeared. However she was in a right old state with lots of debilitating symptoms. Because of her family medical history she was not on HRT. But in the end had to go on it. And then her psoriasis came back. Weird what hormones affect.

Thanks to @VictoriaBun for that sad making list! I have mentioned to my dh several times that I believe my vagina is getting smaller!

I have noticed an increase in body/fanny odour. Also, weirdly it seems like my fanny is “wetter”.

Thanks to the pp’s who have mentioned vertigo. I have been a bit alarmed by the spells of dizziness.

Also forgot, hairy toes! I was asked to send a picture of a pedicure to one of my friends. Absolutely, shocked to see large black hairs on my first two toes!

Strange erotic dreams about totally unsuitable men.

secret I read today that the vagina can shorten. Joy oh joy x

I had to go back to bed for a while today I had the most excrutiatiing horrendous period pain ive ever had in my life. Spent a lot of the day in tears.

Its even worse than it was when i was a teen.

.

@helenadove I used to pass out as a teen, my periods then were pretty bad until peri. then I started flooding. I guess I should have had a check up but never did.

The dizziness, tiredness, sickness, flooding, ovulation flu, bad temper, anxiety have all been minimised with HRT.

The weird smelling sweat, greasy hair, food tasting bland... that's stll there.

Oh HelenaDove.

The anger. The ANGER. THE ANGER. Did I mention the anger?
I can’t believe what a stupid socialised bloody female I’ve been all these years. Is this anger related to the menopause or am I going mad?

Debenhams it looks like anger is definitely featured in many posts on this thread! Mine is more like extreme irritability and disinclination to be polite to stupid men, rather than full-on Hulk rage. But I can easily imagine how it could escalate.

I'm 50 - periods are either exactly 27 days apart (the first couple of days are like an abbattoir explosion), or one will appear about 19 days after the last one and last for 2 weeks. So I'm either bleeding to death, or just bleeding a lot of the time. Period-shits - seriously runny, hot shits when I have my period.

No sex-drive whatsoever - DP is extremely lucky to get any action more than twice a month. Mind you, I now think he's a total arse and want to leave him at least 3 times a week. He's lovely really (apparently), it's just me that can't see it.

Night sweats - only on my chest and head, and my chest smells 'funny'.

Itchy fanny at night - well not my fanny, but in my 'under-groin', if that's a thing, if I wear pj bottoms in bed.

Hair loss on my head, eyebrows disappearing or going white overnight. Unfortunately I still have to fight the fight on my legs and bikini line. Oh and greying, straightening pubes.

Barrel-shaped middle, despite a low-carb, calorie restricted diet, running, weights and pilates. I dread to think what would happen if I ate what I fancied.

Lethargy - I could literally sit on the sofa ALL day watching mindless TV. I have to have a mad half-hour before DP comes home, hoovering and tidying because I've done fuck-all for 10 hours.

Complete lack of confidence - I am supposed to be looking for a new job, but had a couple of unsuccessful interviews and have completely lost my mojo.

No interest in my appearance - I can't be bothered to put make-up on, haven't had a haircut (that I desperately need) for nearly a year and have allowed the grey to take over. I haven't bought any new clothes for about 4 years.

The rage. I'll say no more, but man, it's a good thing I don't live somewhere you can buy a semi-automatic weapon with your weekly shop.

No wonder I'm so fucking miserable.

Oh, and I have a very wet smelly fanny, and recently had BV, which was nice....

Breast pain earlier in cycle (constantly checking bloody dates) tingling feet, could be vitamin deficiencies but my blood test results seem ok. Sweating. Itchy patch on hand. Brain fog. Of course they may not be related but I'm otherwise healthy... Who knows! But sympathy OP