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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to share your unexpected menopause symptoms

271 replies

GraceMarks · 15/06/2019 10:46

I've been perimenopausal for about a year now, and I thought I was pretty well-read about what it would involve. But some of the things I've experienced have come as a particularly unpleasant surprise and I was wondering if others had found the same! Perhaps if we share some of the things we've been through it will help other women to be prepared when they reach that time in their lives too.

So, aside from the usual hot flushes and night sweats and irregular periods, I've had:

Ovulation flu! I don't have a better term for it really, but every time I ovulate now, I get weird flu-like symptoms such as aching muscles, swollen neck glands, and suddenly feeling cold and tired all the time. It took me a while to make the connection with the time of the month, and I thought I was just getting a bit of a cold, but it only ever lasts for a couple of days and then goes away completely.

The fatigue. Even after getting what seems to be enough sleep.

Weirdly, the lower back pain I've suffered with for more than a decade has more or less gone, but now I get joint pain in my knees and elbows instead. It's much worse a couple of days before a period.

Anyone else had any symptoms they didn't expect, and did they go away once you were completely through the menopause?

OP posts:
Debenhamshandtowel · 15/06/2019 22:03

My anger isn’t stabbiness, it’s uncontrollable rage. And then it’s gone. Pffttt

Tinnitus
Everything aches
Floods
Can’t wear tight jeans-ouch
My hips grew a cm in a couple of weeks.
Straight pubes
Dry skin

But I’ve got so many health issues the symptoms could be to do with any of them. No one is really interested.

Treefloof · 15/06/2019 22:08

Ruby trees thanks for the website link it's actually got most of the stuff I have on it. Very informative.

So yes, put stuff down to hormonal changes. But don't decide against seeking proper tests because you've decided it's
menopause related
I have had no tests at all, I started with irregular periods, went on to barely being able to walk cos of the pain in my legs. Wondered idbi was dying of something. Saw a dr who since then has put "everthing" down to menopause.

Ooh you have a strange taste all the time, menopause.
You have tinnitus for the first time, menopause.
Palpitations, menopause
I imagine broken leg, menopause.

dudsville · 15/06/2019 22:11

I am going to start tracking my bouts of extreme lethargy. I just looked back at my sick leave and this tallies. Fascinating.

Unusualusernames · 15/06/2019 22:11

I love this thread! I'm pretty sure I'm perimenopausal. I try not to google because my anxiety has got so bad but has anyone got any suggestions of how to make this better?
Really bad anxiety
digestion issues (I've got a hiatal hernia so could be that)
A flipping beard
cystic acne on my chin
Extreme pms and joint pain (I've had loads of issues with my neck which unfol I read this didn't link to menopause).

Female doctor was horrible and more or less told me to piss off 🤷‍♀️

Unusualusernames · 15/06/2019 22:12

Ooo and tinnitus

AlpacaP1cnic · 15/06/2019 22:19

@Treefloof exactly!

Tinnitus is not likely to be caused by the menopause. Lots of things aren't. Yeah you can bend them and fit them maybe but please be aware of changes and don't say ' oohhh heart palpitations! Must be meno!'

Treefloof · 15/06/2019 22:32

Just to add my strange taste could have meant a bad cold to medications to cancer. But its passed off as menopause. As it happened 5 or so months after it started, it stopped.

AlpacaP1cnic · 15/06/2019 22:36

@Treefloof I think all you can try and do is be firm. A man wouldn't be fobbed off in the way women are - and you only have to read this thread to see just how many symptoms we are happy to put down to the menopause. Everything from struggling to walk to digestion problems to hearing issues.

Jaxhog · 15/06/2019 22:38

Hair loss. Everywhere.

RubyTrees · 15/06/2019 22:42

You're welcome @Treefloof.

I have had no tests at all, I started with irregular periods, went on to barely being able to walk cos of the pain in my legs. Wondered idbi was dying of something. Saw a dr who since then has put "everthing" down to menopause.

I have a very sympathetic GP who has carried out all kinds of tests to rule out diseases/nutritional deficiencies. My mother died from ovarian cancer 1 week after her diagnosis so I've had the CA125 test as well. When everything came back negative, the only thing left to do was to try and cope one day at a time.

HoppityChicken · 15/06/2019 22:51

Itchy ribs, just the ribs, I could scratch them for hours lie a monkey.

Spotty neck. From nowhere came single big cystic spots at the back of my neck which would be there for weeks in some form or another. Hair long enough to hide them fortunately, but hair being down made hot flushes hotter however. The neck spots scarred (still faint white patches). Then they moved to my face - chin, jawline, side of mouth. If I left them alone totally they would go away quietly after a while, if I mucked about with them they spread - and could scar. I was virtually spot free as a teenager so this is some kind of hormone revenge.

Lower back pain - like someone had filled the base of my spine with cement.

Galloping thumpy heart of an evening - always when doing nothing and completely relaxed.

Raging nausea preceding a hot flush. Actually this was a good thing, the moment I felt sick I knew I was about to have a hot flush a few minutes later giving me escape time if needed.

Aging - I aged rapidly, I wore the peri-menopause on my face, jowels, dull skin, frown lines, loss of plumpness in my cheeks, seemingly overnight. What I'd basically thought was me eating junk, late nights being stressed etc turned out not to be fixable by a quinoa salad, an early night and a mindfulness app on my phone. Only surgery will return these features to their original place on my face.

Panic - I seemed to be running around in a perpetual panic, mind like a whirlwind, no off switch.

It gets better, slowly, way too slowly.

dudsville · 15/06/2019 23:01

My chest was itchy recently. I looked. The peach fuzz had turned into tiny black hairs. I kid you not. And because my ageing eyes cannot see well up close I couldn't really get a clear grasp of the situation.

MummyKnowsAll · 15/06/2019 23:04

Couldn't have tea or coffee (especially coffee) without feeling sick and headachey. Caffeine intolerant. The tea is ok now but still can't have coffee except for decaf.

YesILikeItToo · 15/06/2019 23:09

My hair has curled. My hair was straight and now I have ringlets. This was my first clue - if you google ‘why has my hair gone curly’ the answers relate generally to age and to hormones.

justasking111 · 15/06/2019 23:30

vestibular neuritis, awful six weeks in bed lying very still. Actual saw a physio. who retrained my brain to cope with it.

Palpitations ambulance three times it was so bad. Now on low dose of beta blockers to help reduce them.

Leg skin so dry when I take of black leggings the insides look like I have dandruff.

Whiskers growing overnight despite checking in magnifying mirror every day.

Itching fanny at night it is wet as if I had weed. Have to wash with a flannel every night to prevent mad itching. Sometimes use sudocrem if it is really bad.

Can see my scalp much more now where my hair parting is. So hair loss.

Love this awful summer we are having because I am not as hot in bed at night. Could not face a sunny holiday these days.

pickletickled · 15/06/2019 23:40

I've been wondering myself lately if I am peri. I don't think I am but something is not quite right.
I came on the say please don't be fobbed off by GP's that you're 'just' menopausal of any degree.
My DM (53 at the time) went backwards and forwards for 8 months, primarily with headaches and was fobbed off again and again (8 different GP's plus a neurologist) she had a terminal brain tumour NOT a menopausal headache!

GreenDragon75 · 16/06/2019 00:17

Ovulation flu! Had never heard this before but have felt crap all week. Achey, virusey and my stomach is bloated and tender. I have quite sparse periods but was convinced one is brewing. I am sure this is menopause related as I was thinking that I keep having this every so often. Am going to keep a diary now.
Yes to most of the other symptoms too - no hot flushes though luckily!

Pieceofpurplesky · 16/06/2019 00:35

Psoriasis. Not had it badly for years and now it's flared up

BiscuitsWithEverythingPlease · 16/06/2019 00:40

I sailed thru with very few physical symptoms/problems, but realised afterwards that for a year or so I had been feeling very anxious, tearful and emotional over tiny things, which isn't like me at all. It was a weird time.

boatyardblues · 16/06/2019 00:49

Achey, so achey.
BO worse.

OMG, this ^ but weirdly one armpit is way, way worse than the other one. My ankles, knees and elbows hurt. I’m like an old woman when I first get up or sit too still in the day. I’ve been investigated for rheumatoid arthritis and nothing doing, which I’m both relieved and frustrated by. Am gradually resigning myself to never wearing heels again.

boatyardblues · 16/06/2019 01:04

Just lately at work, I've become infuriated by people who don't read my emails and then come and ask me stupid questions that they would have known the answers to if they'd read the sodding emails. Before, I would have patiently answered them and pasted on a smile, now I just say "Look in your inbox. There'll be something in there that you'll find surprisingly helpful."

Give yourself some credit for not just shouting “RAAAAAAH! Fuck off!” in Hulk Smash mode.

DimplesToadfoot · 16/06/2019 01:21

YesILikeItToo - my hair curled too, it was dead straight for over 50 years then boom I've turned into Shirley bloody Temple.

flumposie · 16/06/2019 01:36

lightbulb moment for vertigo! so many times when I've been walking and felt like I've missed a step or gone wobbly. Hot sweats, anxiety, pins and needles in fingers, waking up every 2 hours.

HelenaDove · 16/06/2019 02:08

I just turned 46 this weekend. Im now the same age as DM was when she went through hers. Ive had two periods 12 days apart just recently but the second one was different.

Yes to putting a bit of weight on the tummy despite eating healthily apart from the carrot cake i had for my birthday

and something ive had on and off over the course of several years but seems to be getting worse ..........a terrible feeling of sadness and a sense of impending doom.

RockinHippy · 16/06/2019 02:45

Curly hair

My hair was always slightly wavy at the ends, but never curly, now I go to bed with long glossy straightened locks & thanks to night sweats, I now wake up with a friggin Afro Confused

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