To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

mm yes back to the 1950s. What a warming, comforting thought.

they'd have burned the likes of me (and BitingGold and Xenia et al) as witches back then.

lol whywhywhy...I don't think in the 1950 they burned anyone for being witches anymore....

i would have had a maternity nurse and a full time nanny if I could have afforded them. I work full-time and would happily have all the help I could get in my house. Friends who have had maternity nurses have never had a bad word to say about them, and full time nurseries are preferable when a baby is v.young to a nursery.

sorry i meant full time nannies are preferable....

actually i do wonder why people have maternity nurses from the get go. ok if you need a break after a while of no sleep... but from the start?

i know Malfoy

it was a slight exaggeration .

Probably we would just have been incarcerated in loving, caring long term mental health facilities.

What i like about the style of back then was children were children. They had respect for the older generation and they respected teachers and policemen. They were tought basic life skills like how to cook etc and valued family life.

Children happily played outdoors together rather than stay cooped up indoors playing on some computer game or sitting infront the telly. I think children were very happy back then and when i talk to the older generation they say they loved their childhood even though disaplin was a lot harsher.

There's also alot of things i don't agree with that used to go on back then too though but i'm sure it couldn't have been any worse then the crual world we live in today.

Re OP
Strange to you, not strange to the parents who do it, we're all different.

My friend is a FTSAHM and absolutely loves it.

I was desperate to get back to work by the time ds was 5mo, I HATED being at home with a baby - god I love him so much but its so boring and mindnumbing (to me - no offence to people who love it).

In my case I work pt and both he and I love our time apart and our time together. I personally wouldn't want to work FT at the moment, but don't see why that couldn't work for some parents and babies.

Stop judging other people - you don't know their life and their emotions. Maybe she'd be a crap mum if she was not working FT.

the kind that believed electric shock therapy is the way forward....
shudder....
actually electric shock therapy was something I witnessed in my nursing trainin, and i did that from 89-92....gruelsome

Have to say that personally I can understand how the OP feels up to a point. When I got pg with dd3 dh & I both agreed that it would be best if one of us stayed at home with her & that someone was me simply because dh earned more than I would have f/t (I was doing 9am to 2pm Mon-Fri so I could be at home for dd1 & dd2 finishing school). However that is just dh's & my opinion & I don't think it's my place to force it on anyone else.

certainly agree with you about the respect and playing out thing as far as children are concerned.

But 'unnatural', 'unfeminine' women like me who (gasp) enjoy working more than childcare are better off in this century(even though we still get sl*gged off all the time and have more to do than ever before)

oh, my last message was to whywhywhy, btw, lol....

urgh yes Malfoy ECT
Still disproportionately used on women patients I believe. But that's a whole other thread...

Do they really still use ECT? Am going to start a whole other thread

"Call me old fashioned but why bother ..."

Frankly, gogetter, I think that "old fashoined" is a euphamism for bigot.

Why seems odd to me is why you care if someone else has a maternity nurse, nanny, dog walker, personal shoopper, personal cook, or whatever other hired help they so choose to make life a bit easier.

yes ECT has been offered to me as probably my only route out of depression, an offer I declined.

If I could have afforeded it I would have had a maternity nurse for my dd as I was very ill with PND, after leaving hospital I paid someone to help me with the day to day care with dd. I know people bitched behind my back saying why did she bother having kids if she is going to palm them off on someone else and because I have my pride I let them think I was a spolit uncaring mother rather than admit the truth that I needed the help as I was unwell.

Having said that though my past experinces as well as my dedication to my career are a big factor in us not hvaing anymore children as I don't think it would be fair on the child - but that is my choice for me notone I would inflict on anyone else.

legal I've not been offered ECT myself but I know they still use it for 'non-responsive patients'

twinset do you really feel it was a problem for dd to have the maternity nurse?
Sounds to me like a sensible decision.

I had severe 'baby blues' with ds2 as well as having to work-
He has had a night nanny for the odd night, he didn't seem to give a toss who was there as long as they fed him. He's a far more laid back baby than ds1 who had full on neurotic depressed mummy for 6 months.

I didn't realise that Electric shock therapy is still offered.....and I don't think it is in germany anymore (where I did my training)....doesn't help anyway, lol...but it's awful....I felt really uncofortable to be part of it

I didn't see it as a problem as I had enough of a hold of reality to know that I needed help and I knew that dd was getting the best care from someone I knew and trusted. She also was an invaluable source of information and support to me. But I was criticised by just about everyone for my decision.

I really have started a separate ECT thread, it's in chat (don't want to hijack this thread). Am posting the results of a recent Mind survey on it (was so appalled that have been googling for last 5 mins)

legalalien, just googled it myself...link to your thread please....