To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

got you Annie

At 27 I got married, happy I was....working in a job I enjoyed as was my husband.

Being married and knowing that one day we would want kids, I came off the pill to get my body ready and we started using alternatives.....Anyway one rather frantic night the alternatives failed us and low and behold we got pregs.....ooops!

So unplanned pregs, happily married, but not earning the best money. We earned the same, so for me to give up work would have meant giving up half our household income....not sure how that equates to it not being financially necessary for me to work. Anyway, turns out we had twins, suddenly double the outlay but you don't actually get MORE money for having two......

In essence yes you are being old fashioned, i work because i have to, but also because my kids are better off in nursery than at home full time with me (i was not a natural mother, didn't find the baby stage enjoyable AT ALL). They started nursery full time at 5 months, and i challenge you to find anything 'wrong' with them because of that early start.

I could (and did) organise childcare during working hours. But the fact that my dh's job is currently going through a lengthy phase where he is frequently gone from home from morning until gone 10/11pm, with sudden trips abroad, weekends etc. It is (in our opinion) a good idea that the children have one of us around for a reasonable amount of time on a daily basis.

Same reason as me then COV...differnt Job, supposedly, but same thorught process behind it...and I was tongue in cheek!
Actually I do have a little Job, but it's on Bank/Relief Basis, so, I work as and when ....because the shifts tend to be 24 hours , I can only actually do any when dh is there, as well, a) I would find it impossible to find 24h care for 3 Kids and b) I would feel that at least for some part of the time they should be looked after a parent, however, whilest out working I don't feel bad when I do, for the exacxt reason that I know that my dh is doing as good a Job as I would.

Mamazon "having said that, i do feel sorry for a child that has to bond with an employee rather than a family member"

Are you serious? Don't you mean bond with an employee as well as a family member - in which case what is wrong with someone who is not biologically related? Or do you really believe that children looked after by nannies/childminders don't bond with their parents but bond with the childcarer instead

I mean, I'm guessing you bonded pretty well with your DH and he wasn't "family".

How do you know, Kew. They might be related.

pmsl Eleusis .

Bad girl - go do some work!

controversial issue for some, but I agree totally with Gogetter. I only work 2 days a week and we have had to make sacrifices but I want to bring up my children, not dump them of with some stranger.
I also know of couples who both work full time in well paid jobs so they can have big houses, 2 cars, desighner clothes and 4 holidays a year yet barely see their children. Surely your priority sould be your kids not material things.

Your priorities are exactly that your priorities. Just because yours are different to someone elses doesn't make theirs (or yours wrong).. Besides which most people work not for luxuries but to pay the bills..

LIVE AND LET LIVE FOLKS!!!!!!!

I don't think the issue is with people working to pay the bills, most of us have to to some degree, it is with those who believe having many material possessions is more important than being there for your children.

But how do you know tha they believe material possesions are more important than their children? Have they actually told you that?

its language like "dump them of with some stranger" that makes my ire begin to rise.

So if I work because I have to, my child is lovingly placed with a carefully researched childcare preofessional but if I do exactly the same job for the same number of hours but for reasons of which you disapprove then they are dumped with a stranger

I don't actually employ "strangers" to look after my kids.

example -

my DS loves his CM like, say, an Auntie but he absolutely adores her youngest DS (and vice versa) that when my DS goes on the school run with her to pick him up, her DS drops all his books/bags etc to run and give him a hug like they are long lost pals reunited. It's very sweet.

"dumped with some stranger"?

You sound like you are jealous pinkmagic.

So its just me that yells out the window in the morning for the nearest passerby to take DS?

Dump with strangers indeed

Since when is it wrong to want to afford a nice house and a holiday?

You know what's even worse than working because I want to and dumping DS with strangers?

I am going on maternity leave in one month's time and am going to continue to dump DS with aforementioned strangers so I can rest up before the next one!

(After 1 year or so of being back it work though, I am running out of strangers to dump DS with).

in fact have signed little gherkin up for a paper-round next year (too low to the ground for the paper-bag at the moment). You gotta get them paying their fair share towards the annual cruise you know.

And here's me being cruel by packing the kids and the nanny off to Amida for the summer. If only they had a residential package?