Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Or was my sister being needlessly mean?

103 replies

Tortoiselass · 14/06/2019 15:44

Nc as outing. Need to know if I am being too sensitive or if my sister was being a bit mean.

I have recently lost a couple of stone in weight and am now at a healthy bmi (23) for my height. Eight weeks ago I also decided to start running to help maintain my weight. When I started I could barely run 2 minutes. Today I ran 7.5k. It took me 50 minutes so clearly I am not about to win any marathons at that speed but I was really proud of myself. Told my sister (because she asked how the running was going!!!) and she said oh you might as well not bother if you're going that slowly, what's the point.

Just really felt upset by that. She has form for saying tactless things especially about my weight loss even though she is much smaller than me and always has been.

WIBU to have been hurt by what she said?

OP posts:

herculepoirot2 · 14/06/2019 15:44

Ignore her and run. She’s threatened.

Beechview · 14/06/2019 15:46

You know you’re doing brilliantly. You don’t need her validation.

RedSheep73 · 14/06/2019 15:48

She was being mean. I hope you told her to sod off.

mbosnz · 14/06/2019 15:48

Yup, she was being needlessly mean. She's feeling all jealous and insecure, and like you're showing her up. In fact she sounds a proper little switch.

She can jog on. . .or maybe she can't, lol.

That was a FANTASTIC achievement, well done! And who gives a damn about speed - that's not what you're doing it for!

NewFoneWhoDis · 14/06/2019 15:49

Fuck her. We all start out slow and speed up as our fitness improves. Use it as your motivation to keep up the running.

She's always had 'that' as the thing to make her feel good - that she's thinner than her sister. Now you are threatening that image of herself and she doesn't like the change.

Which should make you all the more determined to keep going with the excellent work you've been doing.

MzHz · 14/06/2019 15:49

You know what she’s like, she’s got form for it and is a very petty and inferior person

She only asked you to have a dig at you. Give her white noise from now on, or tell her that you prefer to discuss your life with people who are genuinely interested rather than those who are snide and jealous

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 14/06/2019 15:49

Yes she's being horrible.

I think that sounds great for a new runner and similar to what friends who are new to it have achieved. My husband takes about 70 min to do 10k and hes been running for a few years. He enjoys it and it helps him maintain his weight as he loves his food.

Whether it was a shit time or not though its still burning calories, going quicker than walking and so keeping you toned, giving you fresh air, and giving you all the mental health benefits so clearly she is being unreasonable saying you shouldn't bother.

Maybe you are the nice sister and she is the skinny sister and she is worried that if you slim down to match her then that'll make her the horrible one!

Original poster

Tortoiselass · 14/06/2019 15:49

It was by text, I haven't replied

Probably overreacting but this happens all the time. I often feel like she hates me tbh

OP posts:

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 14/06/2019 15:49

No, you weren't. Put-downs are always hurtful, even if they aren't meant to be.

But you did it! You have run a distance you couldn't before, and you have lost two stone, and you are altogether deserving of praise for both these things.

Anyhow, when is the last time she ran that distance and how long did it take her?

(I can walk two miles, and it takes me an hour -- which is better than the three hundred yards I could manage after the heart attack. And I need to lose two stone and have shifted a whole five pounds in six months. Go you, that's what I say!)

mbosnz · 14/06/2019 15:53

You could always text back the immortal MN classic - ODFOD. . .

Butchyrestingface · 14/06/2019 15:56

I would text back

”Thanks for the support.”

That’s all.

wineandroses1 · 14/06/2019 15:58

thanks for the support is an excellent response. Going forward, tell her nothing about your life. She’s clearly threatened by/jealous of you.

Norma27 · 14/06/2019 15:59

7.5k in 50 mins after 8 weeks of running is absolutely amazing! Well done you xx

dinopops · 14/06/2019 16:00

I would just reply in a jokey manner and not let her know that her rude comments have upset you. After all that was her aim.

I'd maybe say something along the lines of "do you care to join? Or are you too embarrassed you'll lose to me? "

Looobyloo · 14/06/2019 16:00

Welcome to the world of running, where people seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to comment on every aspect of it, especially those who've never run. She's jealous and of course you've every right to be upset. Tell her to jog on and don't tell her anything in future.

50 mins for a 7.5 k is a good time by the way, especially for a new runner.

Geminijes · 14/06/2019 16:01

Ignore your sister. You did well. The time doesn't seem slow to me.

You're running to benefit yourself so as long as you felt good then that is all that matters.

Original poster

Tortoiselass · 14/06/2019 16:01

She gets in touch with me all the time but generally has nothing nice to say to be honest

But I feel unable to say much. She's my half sister (dad's first marriage, I was from his second and he's now on his fifth which should tell you something about the kind of man he is but that's for another thread) and is 14 years older than me. So I feel a bit like a silly child though I am in my thirties fgs!!!

OP posts:

51Pegasusb · 14/06/2019 16:03

50 mins is brilliant well done you. You did it no one else, it was you !! This is an achievement as is your weight loss and I suspect she is jealous.
Don't text back, ignore hold your head up high and continue to do it for you !

Namechangeishard · 14/06/2019 16:04

Well done you!
Don’t let her rain on your parade, keep running but just don’t bother discussing it with her again.
Only family would say such mean things to each other that they wouldn’t dream of saying to friends.

She has form for saying tactless things especially about my weight loss even though she is much smaller than me and always has been.
It sounds like she was happy to be the thin sister and is worried that you will be getting all the attention for your achievements leaving her in the shade. Ignore her.

ExplodingCarrots · 14/06/2019 16:05

She's insecure and threatened and the only way to make herself feel better is to put you down. Ignore! You've done amazingly well to do that in 8 weeks. When I worked up to half marathon distance my 8k time was 55 minutes so you're acing it. Some people just hate seeing other people doing well and succeeding. Keep going .

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/06/2019 16:07

Christ, I've had a lot worse than that from my sister over the years.

Yes, she's being mean but it sounds like she was form for this, so I'd just ignore it and let it go to be honest.

Keep on running and congrats on the weight loss.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 14/06/2019 16:08

Crikey! I think that's pretty impressive going in just 8 weeks .
You could always text back " Feel free to join me next time and show me how it's done "time
If it's any comfort you've inspired me to get my shit together!

pictish · 14/06/2019 16:09

She’s full of shit and negative shit at that. You keep running...of COURSE that distance and time is worth doing.
I started running a year ago...I’m slow and I’ve lost a ton of weight. Tell her to fuck off.

Isatis · 14/06/2019 16:09

My first reaction to your sister's response was "Silly cow" and that's what I'd be tempted to text back to her - but maybe "Thanks for the support" is better.

It sounds like, overall, you need to disengage from her and stop sharing things if the reality is that she will look for things to nitpick about.

museumum · 14/06/2019 16:10

Ask her how many Km she has run today.
You burn about the same calories per km no matter what speed you go so unless she’s out there walking 7.5km then you’re doing better than her.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread