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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or was my sister being needlessly mean?

103 replies

Tortoiselass · 14/06/2019 15:44

Nc as outing. Need to know if I am being too sensitive or if my sister was being a bit mean.

I have recently lost a couple of stone in weight and am now at a healthy bmi (23) for my height. Eight weeks ago I also decided to start running to help maintain my weight. When I started I could barely run 2 minutes. Today I ran 7.5k. It took me 50 minutes so clearly I am not about to win any marathons at that speed but I was really proud of myself. Told my sister (because she asked how the running was going!!!) and she said oh you might as well not bother if you're going that slowly, what's the point.

Just really felt upset by that. She has form for saying tactless things especially about my weight loss even though she is much smaller than me and always has been.

WIBU to have been hurt by what she said?

OP posts:
MadamMMA · 14/06/2019 17:45

She’s wrong anyway it’s distance that’s important not speed, well done to you ❤️

Original poster
Tortoiselass · 14/06/2019 18:31

Thank you all I'll just leave it

OP posts:
MummyParanoia101 · 14/06/2019 18:57

Don't run on concrete it will wreck your knees over time, regardless of footwear. I now have Osteo-arthritis and have been told by both my rheumatologist & physiotherapist that running on concrete is the most likely cause. Well known fact in military circles apparently. Hope this helps

Original poster
Tortoiselass · 14/06/2019 18:59

No choice really, I haven't got any grass to run on.

My gran has run on concrete all her life and is 80 now and fine.

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 14/06/2019 19:03

Just ignor it...

Thequaffle · 14/06/2019 19:06

She is jealous. End of. The fact that she may always have been ‘the skinny one’ was something she held onto to make her feel better and now it feels like it’s slipping away because you’re catching her up.

Run twice as much.

CoraPirbright · 14/06/2019 19:09

OrdinarySnowflake makes many wise points.

I like “Thank you for your support”!!

She sounds utterly horrible, a miserable bitch and just a total drain on any good feelings you have. I know she is family but I would seriously take a step back from her - does she bring any joy to your life?

Btw, 2 stone loss and running at such a good rate so early on - massive congratulations! That is a real achievement! I wish I could lose 2 stone!!

Unicornsdosparkle · 14/06/2019 19:13

Well done, it doesn't matter if it's 50 minutes or 5 hours you did it. Be proud!

BMW6 · 14/06/2019 19:28

I'd reply " LOL have you been sucking lemons again"

mummmy2017 · 15/06/2019 08:18

You have to remember in her head you stole her parent, she will always feel this way , her action show this. .
Ignor,. You can always just reply to thing she texts as "thanks."

Antigon · 15/06/2019 08:22

Thank you all I'll just leave it

So nothing changes?

I would go LC at the very least.

FaithInfinity · 15/06/2019 08:33

Honestly, I’ve been running for years and my PB for a 10k is 1h 19m so you’re already hitting my pace! I recommend getting some good trainers (try a proper running shop) but go for it!

Re your sister, it sounds like she really thrives on bringing you down. It also sounds like you’ve been in a bit of denial about it. I would definitely withdraw, go LC. This isn’t a healthy relationship.

AJPTaylor · 15/06/2019 08:47

Basic rule in my life
Never to look to my mum for affirmation
Never look to my sister for approval

Skittlesandbeer · 15/06/2019 09:00

Skinny and healthy are not the same thing.

You’re building muscle, sucking in fresh air, increasing your circulation, strengthening your resilience to osteoporosis and doing 1000 other things that improve your health outlook.

Bet my bottom dollar she’s already hearing troublesome health test results. She’s not going to tell you though. So stop telling her things that are important for you. Or get yourself tested, and tell her about the rate of medical improvement you’re seeing with your running (not the base rate/current rate). She can hardly poo poo that.

My sister can’t say ‘merry christmas’ without seeing it as a competition, and will never change. So our contact is very very minimal. That may be a real option for you.

woollyheart · 15/06/2019 09:09

You could leave it and ignore.

Or reply 'Sorry that you haven't got anything positive to say. I feel that I am doing so well, but you don't like that, do you?

Original poster
Tortoiselass · 15/06/2019 10:39

You have to remember in her head you stole her parent, she will always feel this way , her action show this.

I didn't though, there are seven years and two other siblings between her mother and my father divorcing, and him having me with my mum.

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 15/06/2019 10:45

But your the baby. I just think that could be were the jealousy comes from... As she is definitely jealous.

Original poster
Tortoiselass · 15/06/2019 10:46

I'm not the baby!! There is one more after me. And we suspect another.

OP posts:
katewhinesalot · 15/06/2019 10:51

You don't need her to validate you.
You know she will never say anything nice so expect that she's nasty and be pleasantly surprised by anything positive.

Don't take anything she says personally. It's about her, not you. Her opinions are meaningless.

MzHz · 15/06/2019 10:56

Wow! Her nail varnish comment was timed at exactly your most vulnerable

She knew EXACTLY what she was doing and went ahead anyway

Lesson learned- never tell her what you’re doing or give her an opportunity to knock you down, go LC and ease her out of your life over time, she’s a very bitter and ugly person, life is too short to carry people like her.

QueenofStella · 15/06/2019 11:13

She’s threatened and probably jealous that you’re doing something positive. There’s always someone ready to piss on your cornflakes - ignore and keep it low contact.

And well done on the running - I promise it will be the best thing you ever do Grin

nutellalove · 15/06/2019 11:16

She's being needlessly mean. A family member made fun of my 10k time when I ran my first race and said something similar to your sister. I just replied 'at least I can run 10k how much can you run then' !! That shut them up cos they can't even run across the hall tbh

justeatasalad · 15/06/2019 11:28

I'd reply and say maybe but still faster than you Grin.
She's a bitch , winds me up people like that . Well done you keep at it you should be proud.

katewhinesalot · 15/06/2019 11:43

I wouldn't retaliate. Feel sorry for her that she feels the need to do this. Let it wash over you. It's her, not you.

Jengnr · 15/06/2019 11:48

She’s a dick. You are awesome.

Book yourself a 10k and start racking up the medals. It’s quite addictive.