Very large lady next to me at theatre

[redbedheadd]

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

Some people really don't know. Still a bit peeved about the woman last week who sat in the middle seat of three on a train (so not much room anyway) and gave me a dead leg. Stand fgs.

She could have been moved to an aisle seat then she could spill over at her leisure without bothering anyone.

I’m above where my weight should be and have always had large hips/thighs (size 16) in comparison to my waist (size 12/14) and I find I can easily fill an economy plane seat with maybe an inch each side.

The problem I would have with an obese person who would need extra room is there would be no room in my seat for them to spill into, especially if I was sat near a window as I can’t make my hips much smaller. I don’t have this issue in the theatre so much as the seats are wider.

Also what happens when two obese people are seated next to each other but can’t spill into each other seats?

I’m not obese but I am an inveterate fidgetter which likewise means that a trip to the theatre (which I love) can be problematic for me and anyone sitting next to me (very difficult to control consciously). Like a PP I swear by seats in boxes, which are often inexpensive and compromise viewing angle for space: a good trade off IMO. I’ve also recommended them to a mate who is ludicrously tall and sometimes struggles to find theatre seats in which he spend the entire show won’t feel horribly guilty.

The medical literature says that the rate of recovery to a normal range weight for people who are morbidly obese is 1 in 677 for women and 1 in 1290 for men

So in reality almost noone who is significantly over weight can lose weight

I entirely concur with the above. PP asked what weights this referred to. Morbidly obese refers to a BMI of 40+ as defined by the WHO.

Obesity is a complex genetic disorder with multiple risk factors leading to the outcome.

Even if you don't believe any of this science, may be you would consider that if there was an easy fix, business and the government would have swept on it in a flash since there is so much money to be gained/saved.

Back in the day when at home all you had was a tiny telly the discomforts of public cinema or theatre seats seemed worth enduring for the pleasure of the immersive experience, these days with Netflix and affordable giant TVs it all looks a bit different.
why go to all that hassle when you can just stay at home and sprawl on your sofa in your pj's?

I was flying home the other day and the person sitting across from me was obese. I was next to the emergency doors over the wings, and I actually doubt that they would have been able to fit through them. Such a safety risk, to them and others.
Also very unfair to the person sat next to them imo

I had this at the theatre too in a sold out show. There was a party of 4 - larger bloke and his larger girlfriend sat together and 2 other slimmer people at the end. It would have been better all around if the larger people at sat at the end seats so at least they could overhang and spread out a little. But I was sandwiched between my fidgeting 13 year old and a man whose made contact with my arms and legs. No idea what the solution is. It wasn't very pleasant but if you are larger may I suggest to book the end seats if you can. So you can go into the aisle.

I probably would have just tried to spread out in my space or asked her to move her bulk into her own space.

🤦🏼‍♀️ Yes this really sounded possible in the circumstances

Thank you everyone for your comments. It's not in my nature to have pushed her or said anything, it also would have upset my grandma who's 86. I think it's difficult if your size interferes with a loved past time. When I was pregnant I was gigantic (huge bab and lots of cake) and I couldn't fit in the theatre chair comfortably so I do sympathise. There's not an easy solution other than if you love the theatre and you can't comfortably attend, it might help you to lose a few lbs? The tickets are so expensive it's a shame if you can't enjoy it.

But I was sandwiched between my fidgeting 13 year old and a man whose made contact with my arms and legs.

Your fidgeting son would have been a pain for the person on the other side of him!

It was his dad on the other side of him.

The medical literature says that the rate of recovery to a normal range weight for people who are morbidly obese is 1 in 677 for women and 1 in 1290 for men
So in reality almost noone who is significantly over weight can lose weight

But they could have avoided becoming obese by not choosng to eat at such a rate that obesity was caused.

And yes, I know, some people gain weight for non-food related reasons, like the mum refered to up thread, but as somene pointed out, during the war when food was rationed, hardly anyone was obese.This is perfectly evident from contemporary newsreels and similar.

YANBU. If you are bigger, book an aisle seat. Ive been on an 11 hour flight when a very very large man was sat in the middle seat and squashed the girl next to him into the window and I had to hang over into the aisle and got hit my the cart every 30 minutes

So unbelievably selfish

I was flying home ... the person sitting across from me was obese. I was next to the emergency doors ... and I actually doubt that they would have been able to fit through them

Ditto the flight I used from Rome back to the UK this week, delayed for 1.5 hours because a 340lb passenger had to be removed using a hoist when he couldn't even get into the wheelchair brought aboard to help

Goodness knows why they allowed him to board at all, given the obvious safety implications, but that must have cost a fortune in missed slots and connections for airline and passengers, not to mention the anxiety for everyone involved

And all because he failed to take responsibility for making arrangements to suit his size ... just as so many who fail to lose weight prefer not to take responsibility for that either

delayed for 1.5 hours because a 340lb passenger had to be removed using a hoist when he couldn't even get into the wheelchair brought aboard to help

How weird! He must have been mortified though.

Did he manage to board and sit down ok though?

340lbs

Is that like 24 stone?

Tbh I’ve seen people on flights that I would have guessed to be heavier than that and I’ve never seen them need to be hoisted anywhere.

I’m not convinced that was because of his weight you know!

I've been 24 stone and didn't need hoisted. Walked all round Disney World at that height.

Sorry weight

If someone had been repeatedly elbowing me in my theatre seat I’d have been severely tempted to elbow them back.

I am a size 16, big but not overly huge and I sometimes struggle in theatre, airline, cinema seats. I agree with the person who said that places are not built for modern day bodies.

Did he manage to board and sit down ok though?

I couldn't say; he was getting off the flight I was getting onto, so presumably he somehow managed to board but then couldn't get off again

I was surprised myself when the gate staff mentioned 340lb / 24 stone, but when seen through the gate window once off the aircraft, he looked quite a short chap and his girth was enormous ... so I guess the weight could have been what he claimed to be, but was actually more

so I guess the weight could have been what he claimed to be, but was actually more

So...a fat, short chap who lies about his weight?
Which airline was this?
I'm sure we'd all be glad to avoid them, and not just for the abysmal gate staff who divulge customer's personal details.

Nice fat shaming, OP. Aren't you the compassionate one.

Wow! I hope you get to sit between 2 fat people manspreading, with a kicker behind you and a very tall person with big hair in front, next time you go to the theatre!!

Personally, I find the tall person in front the biggest problem. Why do the tallest people always have to sit iat the front? I'd be happy squashed if only I could SEE the performance.

So...a fat, short chap who lies about his weight?

Well, the first two were certainly so - the third, as I said, could have been, but I can only repeat what the Easyjet gate staff told us all

FWIW I also thought some of their remarks a bit unguarded, but those of normal weight have feelings too and maybe they were being kept from other commitments, just as passengers were