Very large lady next to me at theatre

[redbedheadd]

Went to theatre today and the lady next to me was so large I was left with no space at all. My legs were aching by the end as they were pushed together and I couldn't move at all. She kept repeatedly elbowing and jostling me without an apology.

AIBU to be irritated?

Conditions and illnesses are treatable (mostly). You are choosing not to seek help with that. I know that in my NHS trust programmes are run with group discussion, and gentle exercise sessions in the park. Referrals are made by GPs. Additionally, subsidised gym places are given. The take up is very low

If you had a broken leg you wouldn't stay at home and not seek help. It's the same here. You have made a decision not to deal with it

Being overweight to the extent that you can't fit into a theatre or airplane seat must be compromising your experience. And still you don't seek help

Seriously?

If you have a broken leg, you go to A and E and get treated within hours.

If you have a mild to moderately severe eating disorder, especially an over eating one, you go on a waiting list for 6 months to 2 years then you get one round of CBT which may or may not work.

Even if you get treatment and it's successful, the average recovery time for an eating disorder is 5-7 years. Are people supposed to lock themselves away from society for that time in case they offend someone with their fatness? (I know this isn't what the OP was saying - she was looking for solutions and advice - but this is the kind of attitude that seems to be coming out of the thread now).

Are people supposed to lock themselves away from society for that time in case they offend someone with their fatness?

No, but crushing a granny at the theatre isn't necessarily the best course of action either.

I'm not offended by fatness. But I do want the theatre seat that I paid for. I don't want more than my own seat. I'm not going to the theatre expecting some random stranger to charitably donate half of their expensive seat to me. That would be rather entitled of me.

If you are so sure that you're not going to be able to get help from the NHS that's it? Just don't bother making any changes? You know there is lots of information out there. You could choose to educate and help yourself. Or don't and carry on as you are.

*Zonkin

Conditions an illness are usually treatable
*
This is a nice thought but it's plainly not true.

Look at this
• 1) a = b 1) Given.
• 2) a2 = ab 2) Multiply both sides by a.
• 3) a2-b2 = ab-b2 3) Subtract b2 from both sides.
• 4) (a+b)(a-b) = b(a-b) 4) Factor both sides.
• 5) (a+b) = b 5) Divide both sides by (a-b)
• 6) a+a = a 6) Substitute a for b.
• 7) 2a = a 7) Addition.
• 8) 2 = 1 8) Divide both sides by a.

2 does not = 1 the solution falls down because there is a false assumption.

Your false assumption is obesity is a choice it is not and therefore the rest of your argument fails.

It was me with the fat and sin. What I meant was that there is a visceral hatred for the fat that defies logic.

Wonderful post manic, thanks for sharing that.

Eating disorders defy logic and saying to any flavour of sufferer have some chips/don't eat chips is just pathetically reductive.

Yessss!! naked you really are a superstar and I luffs ya!

Naked excellent, to see it clarified as a formula I think encapsulates the whole debate. Thank you.

Of course most illnesses are treatable.

I said the decision to not deal with being overweight is a choice. There is difference.

In your mathematical "formula" you claim at step 1 that a = b is a given. There are no further necessary steps. Unless you give a reason why you are adding random numbers to the equation there is no logic. Surely we don't teach our GCSE students to do this?

In reality, at step 1 since a = b you can substitute b for a. Or a for b as they are equal at step 1.

And empirical evidence tells me that most illnesses are treatable. It is not a false assumption.

Still not sure why any of this means that I have to donate half my expensive theatre seat to a random person?

Does anyone have a respectable link to information that obesity is not mainly caused by unhealthy lifestyles and eating more cals than putting out, but rather by ilnesses?
Because even cancer research points out it's calory in/out problem.

I understand that underlying trauma is a massive issue but that's not a majority of cases, is it? Are we all suffering more major traumas and more helth issues that cause obesity than generations before? Obesity Health Alliance reported that there is 90% more obese adults in UK now than in 1990s. That's astonishing figure.

It can also be the fact that there is a fucking added sugar in EVERYTHING. I swear to god, I am starting to cgeck salt packages for it soon🙄

Morbid obesity is clearly not caused by a fondness for cake, do you seriously think it is? I would have thought that almost all cases of morbid obesity are caused by serious underlying psychological distress and / or trauma. If someone brings an oxygen tank to the theatre are you going to whine about your seat?

My toy, my toy! Won't share!

I didn't say it was a fondness for cake. I said that the decision not to address it is a choice. All decisions have consequences.

As NinjaInFluffyPJs pointed out, the cause of the overweightness of most people is not an illness.

I wouldn't whine about the oxygen tank. I presume anyone with one would have been given one of the disabled seats so that they and their tank are not crammed in and they are more comfortable. Oxygen tanks aren't exactly small.

I don't think the oxygen tank user would go to the theatre and expect a random stranger to hold the tank.

@thighofrelief101 of course I am not going to share. A Hamilton theatre ticket (for example) costs £250. And it gets fully booked out so you do have to wait for your big night out. The experience lasts 2 and a half hours. Why on earth would I want to share my seat with you making that experience worse for me? I won't be able to afford to go to see Hamilton on a regular basis. Most people can't. It's ridiculous to think that I would want to share that seat.

Does anyone have a respectable link to information that obesity is not mainly caused by unhealthy lifestyles and eating more cals than putting out, but rather by ilnesses?

Yes, I suggested a book up the thread (Why we get fat and what to do about it - Gary Taubes. It's a more accessible version of an earlier book he wrote, but still with plenty of references to proper studies). It's not necessarily 'illness', albeit that depends on how you define illness, but it isn't simply a matter of calories in-calories out or eating bananas instead of crisps. There's endless amounts of evidence that diets don't work in the long term, and not simply because people are too weak-willed to stay on them.

zonkin I've said it a million times. If I spend £250 on a Hamilton ticket and a tall person sits in front of me I can't see. It ruins my experience just as much as a fat person spilling on to your seat (actually aren't theatre seats separated and solid at the bottom?). Your response will, again, be that a tall person can't help it. Neither can the morbidly obese, not at the point of the theatre viewing anyway.

Or indeed at any point, if they rely on the idea that they just need to east less crap, because it isn't simply a choice like that.

@thighofrelief101 an overweight person does have a choice. To justify your arguments you always pick extreme cases (eg. oxygen tank user, morbidly obese person)

Most theatres (and certainly the Hamilton one) account for height by laterally shifting the seats and sloping. There aren't that many people who are so tall that they ruin other people's experiences. And they did not have a choice about their height.

I'll just take my seat. Don't mind me

it is annoying when someone enormously tall sits in front of me, I can't see a thing and might as well leave. They are occupying my viewing area. No one tall shames though do they?

This is the strangest false equivalence. You do realise that nobody can help their height, right? Their weight is a different matter.

I am not sure Gary Taubes is the best spurce though. I just googled him and 1. He is a journalist not a doctor and 2. There is quite a few controversies.

Any actual scientific data? I am honestly curious and if proven wrong, can admit I was, but so far all proper researches I have seen suggest lifestyle as a main cause with trauma being cause in absolute minority of cases.

What I don't understand is why this is a problem largely faced by recent generations. Our grandparents lived through the war, many having seen their friend blown limb from limb, yet this trauma didn't cause them to become obese through comfort eating. And genes don't go bad over a couple of generations.

I really do think it's food based, albeit possibly more of an addiction issue. There are always loads of fat people in fast food places and I don't think this is a coincidence.

Yes, the book is full of actual scientific data. If you prefer you can read the longer one, with even more scientific data. The fact that's been written by an investigative journalist makes it readable, it doesn't mean he's just making shit up. Why not read it and make your own assessment?

I was watching some 1980's nostalgia programme the other night and was genuinely surprised at how slim the majority of people were. The normal would appear to be much larger now.

However, that is just my observation from that programme so I can't state that is a true fact.