AIBU to say that if you work in child protection you shouldn't post pictures of yourself wanking at work in fetish gear?

[ArcheryAnnie]

People do all kinds of things in their private life, and - as long as it's all consensual, and involving adults, in private - that's absolutely fine with me. Even if it involves fetish stuff that I find deeply unsexy. It's your private time and your business.

But if you bring your fetish into work, that's really inappropriate. Involving other people in your kink without their consent is not OK.

If you bring your fetish into work and take time to entertain yourself in the loos with it, that's way, way beyond really inappropriate.

If you work in child protection campaigning, and bring your fetish into work, and take time to entertain yourself in the loos with it, and take a photo of yourself while doing it, and upload that photo onto the internet, then you probably need to consider whether a career in child protection is really for you.

(And if you are doing this while working on campaigns about abused and neglected children, you should not be surprised when people ask what made you so aroused.)

And dear NSPCC - who I used to have a direct debit to, and who used to be in my will - people objecting to this are not being homophobic or "bullying". Many of who are objecting to your staff member's actions are ourselves gay. We just seem to have a better grasp of safeguarding than you do.

Anybody regardless of where they work should be fired for this

That's literally all that needs saying.

Of course not barbarianmum, otherwise people would not get aroused over popstars and filmstars.

That's not the point. The point is this man is deliberately dressing in a fetish suit to go to work in order to become aroused because people don't know.

People are arguing on this thread that it's fine. And only starts being a problem because it's filmed and uploaded.

I disagree. Most people who that man was talking to prior to going into the toilet and masturbating would agree.

social media response is telling:

twitter.com/NSPCC/status/1138858597390147586

I'm really amazed that anyone needs to have the fact that working for a children's charity and wanking in the toilets at work is a particular issue.

Have we lost all critical thought?

Just waiting for the Daily Mail panic society to pitch up. (Grabs tea and settles down with biscuit)

I really wonder what the people who are defending him and talking about how it shouldn't be made public (which he himself did) feel about Trump's 'grab them by the pussy' video?

Should that not have been searched either?

Oh no, that's different because Trump is a BADDY and this guy is a GOODY.

These people really have the critical thinking skills of a toddler.

You have no idea unless you check what someone is wearing under their clothes to work or elsewhere

Well, we do with this guy- BECAUSE HE FILMED IT AND PUT IT ON THE INTERNET!!!!!

He also stated that he had been actively involved in this scene - bondage, fetishwear- since he was 15. How can someone working in safeguarding not have the teeny tiniest inkling that that might indicate abuse, let alone be illegal?

“Just waiting for the Daily Mail panic society to pitch up. (Grabs tea and settles down with biscuit)”

Does that mean you think it’s OK for him to have done this?

Honestly I think it would be pretty homophobic if people didn't call out this unprofessional and creepy behaviour at work and his publicising of it. I would call this out if a heterosexual person did it. If I behaved differently just because someone was gay, that would be homophobic towards all the gay people who wouldn't do something so unbelievably awful.

What he did is unprofessional at best, linking what amounts to porn with his job shows a complete disregard for safeguarding, and he deserves to be sacked.

The NSPCC statement is unbelievable. They've basically admitted that supporting their LGBT staff is more important than safeguarding children. They are truly telling us who they are.

(and specifically supporting a deeply unprofessional member of LGBT staff who likes creating porn at work and linking it online to his job)

Ridiculous to suggest homosexuality is a factor; the fetish and gear is also irrelevant.

The man made pornography at work and linked it on a public forum, which identifies his employer.

Can’t think of many employers who wouldn’t fire for gross misconduct.

Well, we do with this guy- BECAUSE HE FILMED IT AND PUT IT ON THE INTERNET!!!!!

Erm yes. That is where it becomes a sacking offence as I already said ages ago. However bar someone deliberately exposing it themselves you have no idea what they are wearing unless you or workplace checks. Something I doubt the government is going to bring in soon.

He also stated that he had been actively involved in this scene - bondage, fetishwear- since he was 15. How can someone working in safeguarding not have the teeny tiniest inkling that that might indicate abuse, let alone be illegal?

Liking bondage or fetishwear does not a child abuser make. And illegal? Not sure. Not wise? Certainly.

Sorry just realised you mean for a 15 year old to wear bondage. It may be illegal and is certainly

I dared to read one of the Guardian journo’s twitter feed about this, and the mental gymnastics from the Blue Hair Brigade would make your head spin.

What I don’t understand- if any other NI posters remember the Ulster rugby rape case. The men were acquitted, but Ulster sacked them anyway due to the tone of private text messages that came out during the trial which brought the club into disrepute. Liberals thought this was Right (which it was, obviously).

Now- a chap links his inappropriate social media to his linked in profile, which he has made public, and admits to wanking at work with the fact that he’s employed by a children’s charity highlighted for an extra thrill. Despite the employee making these materials public himself, anyone who questions the appropriateness is CANCELLED and a massive homophobe? What?

"Sorry just realised you mean for a 15 year old to wear bondage. It may be illegal and is certainly "

The point isn't really illegality, the point is that someone who works in safeguarding should realise that this is not something you post on the internet in the context of porn, as if it is some kind of sexy turn on, rather than an instance of something very fucked up having gone on.

grapefruit

The last two or three years have really opened my eyes to how totally sexist (or misogynistic) the left is. As long as people can have their sexy fun times, they don't care about women or children.

In some ways, they are seriously worse than conservatives when it comes to women.

This is another thread I've read on here recently that is absolutely baffling. At my work (and I work in the public sector) you would be immediately sacked for this behaviour. I cannot believe that it's even open to debate.

People have been sacked for saying " I hate my job" on facebook, because they had put their place of work in their about me section.
This guy not only brought his fetish into work and filmed and uploaded it. but it was also specifically mentioned that it was taking place in a childrens charity building. The only reason you would mention that is because the mere fact you are crossing a boundary is a turn on in itself. Because its taboo, because you are hoping to engage people who are turned on by erasing childrens boundaries.
In what world is this not a sackable offence.

I just cannot get my head around even with the huge amount of negative publicity surrounding charities at the moment, the paedophile/exploitative things going on with Oxfam etc that the NSPCC are trying to style this out.

Could it be that this is the tip of a bloody big iceberg that they are worried might be revealed?

I think many of us were already dubious about safeguarding when it came to the NSPCC and who they choose to associate with. I can completely understand people threatening to cancel their subscriptions. Who the hell is runninv this circus? It’s terrifying.

YADNBU!

Annie thank you for posting this thread. This issue was brought up in feminist chat, and now it’s going to get huge footfall on AIBU, so hopefully many more people will have their eyes opened.
I wonder if the NSPCA have mixed toilets? The behaviour of this man shows the danger of mixed toilets in a way that words cannot!

He also stated that he had been actively involved in this scene - bondage, fetishwear- since he was 15. How can someone working in safeguarding not have the teeny tiniest inkling that that might indicate abuse, let alone be illegal?

In the interview (now deleted) he described being bullied as a teenager, discovering 'extreme fetish' forums online aged 15 years old & spending a great deal of time there. He on one hand acknowledged that it was completely inappropriate (he had not had a sexual relationship) whilst also describing finding 'his tribe'

So a 15 year old child was effectively groomed online by adult men?
'Extreme' fetish was normalised from a very early age?

So some people seem to think this is defensible (I don't). But say you do, even if you think it's completely acceptable - would you be happy if you donate to the NSPCC that your donations are going towards paying the salary of a guy who wanks in fetish gear at work? Charities need to have higher standards than other businesses. They have a responsibility to their supporters as well as their cause and I feel completely betrayed by this.

At the very least it’s not doing your work on work time.

And some people want unisex loos. No thank you. I don’t particularly want someone peeing in the next cubicle let alone slipping into their bondage gear and having a one man party in there (with me as their unwilling audience for extra zest).

There is a part of me that thinks if he wanted to wear kinky gear at work and wank in the loos, it's nasty but if noone ever knows about it, what harm? Maybe people you work with are doing similar, if you never know, so what?

But then there is a whole other element to this link, in letting OTHER people know that this is what he did. So, he is pushing boundaries and getting a thrill from involving you in his sexual activity. Then telling OTHER PEOPLE how he has done this TO YOU without your knowledge or consent. You are now part of a whole other load of people's sexual thrills and you don't even know.

No. Thanks.