Am I stuck up, or is colleague rude?

[Iltavilli]

I changed career last year, and am on a training programme for a challenging new role, which I take quite seriously.

The new job is in a highly regulated environment - which I’m used to - and o approach it as such. A colleague, also on the development programme, is far more informal. He’s happy to chat all day about tv, primarily programme I simply don’t watch (talent shows, love island, etc), given I’m more of a going to gigs and sports person, so we have little in common.

There was a meeting last week where I used a word he seemed not to understand. It’s wasn’t a complex word, but the most suited to the context. As he asked what it meant I explained. They then mocked me for using it. He’s a jokey person but this was mockery in front of others and felt mean.

I should note, he’s well educated (degree etc), but it isn’t the first time. He’s told me to “stop being so middle class” before - I’m not, parents grew up on council estates, dad a factory labourer till he retired.

So who is BU?

I'm not sure i understand what you mean by highly regulated, does this mean you are supposed to be serious and not chatty and informal at work? Is that the relationship of the tv chat?
I do think if you are discussing data etc it is pretty standard to use tgexwork key and expect it to be understood in context. I suspect he sees you as threatening.
Plenty of people choose to keep their personal and work lives separate, whilst it is not necessarily a criticism of someone who brings their daily life into work life chit chat, a person who does this might see someone who does not as overly serious and maybe ambitious and might be threatened or intimidated by it.

I love hearing new words so thank you PP for majoritarily. I will endeavour to use it in conversation tomorrow.

In my 20s a colleague said to me that she would hate to get on the wrong side of me as my vocabulary was so extensive I had no need of swearwords to win an argument. I took it as a compliment and was delighted.

My boss in the 1980s was devoted to ‘Dynasty’ and used to want to discuss the latest episode with me every week. Every week I told her I didn’t watch it and had no idea who any of the characters were to no avail. I didn’t think anything of it and doubt she did either. She was a kind and good boss (albeit with a tongue like a viper so would have fitted in here well).

Your colleague's key attribute appears to be "being a bellend", OP.

I remember being laughed at by a teacher in primary school for calling a trivet a trivet. She said it was a pot stand.

He is quite obviously threatened by you, which is entirely his problem. No, you are not stuck up!

TBH the way you word things you do come across as stuck up sorry.

Thanks all for feedback, it had been a bit of a mixed bag!

In terms of regulated, I mean we abide by strict legal procedures. An error in that process can have quite wide ranging repercussions.

If those who have said my tone / style / language does seem “stuck up” (or any variant), I’d be really open to knowing in what way

@Rockmysocks
told her we didn't celebrate ignorance
I am aiming to use that line at least once in my life

I really don’t think you sound stuck up, OP. You just sound like you’re well educated. I think there’s a tendency in this country to equate intelligence with snobbery - it’s actually a sort of inverse snobbery, and has contributed to a dumbing-down of culture and politics in recent years, with expertise being regarded with suspicion and dislike, and experts being seen as needing to be taken down a peg or two. It’s a shame that the correct usage of technical language can be criticised as too “middle class” or stuck up.

This thread is weird. Using a key to explain data is something most people learn in the early years of school. Yes there are other uses but generally that's enough to get you to.a point where you can work out what is meant in context. The guy is a twat. Some posters on here or odd.

This person seems to have a chip on their shoulder despite you being from a working class background. I myself am from a working class background in a firm which is mainly made up of privately educated background but we all rub along nicely enough.

When it comes to shows like Love Island it’s the opposite for me as many of my ‘posher’ colleagues all watch it and I don’t which I reckon is mainly just down to life circumstances as they are married with kids and spend more time in front of the TV than I do.

If I’m asked I’ll just say I haven’t seen it and that’s that. No need to enquire as to what happened or feign interest in something I can’t talk about as have zero knowledge. They don’t accuse me of being stuck up though or middle class though which would be ridiculous.

I often wonder whether some of the stuff on here is just nuts or I’m just fortunate to never experience it but pleased the politics of X factor, strictly or love island doesn’t seem to have any impact on me!

It doesn’t sound remotely stuck-up. You don’t. Mn tall poppy syndrome/‘you think you’re better than other people, do you?’ frequently expresses itself in a vicious reverse snobbery towards anyone who doesn’t think Love Island is a TV Citizen Kane.

I think you just sound serious and hardworking OP.

This is a philistine country where it’s cool to know nuffink with a cult of the amateur, and people are very suspicious of ‘experts’. Hence the defensive knee-jerk posts in line with this guy.

I'm finding it both amusing and rather sad that so many people seem to conflate not watching Love Island with judging Love Island and being up yourself.

@jonette, your probably used to work in Tesco and now data analyst post says so much about you.

1. If that was the case, so what? Surely anyone taking their work seriously so they can move into a new field is a positive thing?
2. Your notion that you can "guess OP's circumstances based on nothing at all makes you come across as a nasty piece of work.

Of course, you could argue that I'm doing the same to you and while you might be right but I'm not the one cunting around this thread constantly trying to out nasty myself.

@Iltavilli, you don't sound stuck up just serious and being serious in the workplace is generally seen as a good thing especially when mistakes can have serious repercussions. Outside work you like metal which makes me think you're a pretty rounded and grounded person. N.b. Metal passes me by, so obviously I'm judging you for daring to have an interest that I don't share!

Please also tell me what 'pervasive' means because I don't know either...

Why advertise your own ignorance just to take a pop at the OP? Should she pretend to be thicker than she really is just to appease the tedious (and often incessant) office chatter about some boring programme on TV? NB. Pap TV is no more lowbrow than gigs and sports!

It's not patronizing to possess a vocabulary or have different interests to someone else. The real insularity comes from the narrow-minded assumption that 'different = bad'.

Want a definition of 'insularity', Google is thattaway --->

NB. IMO, metal rocks, and 'Love Island' judging by media reports only looks like a bucket of shit. Purely personal opinion. No accounting for taste, but it wouldn't offend me if other people's differs from mine. Who cares? Life's too short.

NB. I liked 'Velvet Goldmine' better than 'Citizen Kane'. So shoot me now!

Hmm. I once worked with a woman whose mother had been a hospital cook and her dad was an odd job man. She was the first in family to get a degree and was a tiny bit precious and thought she was better/more intellectual than others.

She honestly didn't realise her grammar was awful (and her table manners). She was a bit stuck up for no reason and was a little bit patronising and we did all take the piss, albeit quietly, I'm sorry to say.

YANBU and you don't come across as stuck up.

That’s a nice story @OhTheRoses, could I ask how it applies here?

He's ashamed of his limited vocabulary and he's trying to put you down? What's it to him what class you come from, or seem to come from? is he the Social Mobility Police or something? Judgemental, unmannerly and unprofessional at best.

There is nothing wrong with being a serious intellectual and it is only because this country, and some people on MN it seems, see anything other than popular culture as snobbery. Everyone in a professional field uses jargon that is perhaps incomprehensible to those outside that field. When in a meeting with colleagues it is perfectly reasonable to expect all of those people present to be familiar with basic jargon for that field.

Some of the posts on this thread say more about the posters than the OP

He feels threatened and is a twat. Keep your head down on the programme and do as well as you can. Politely laugh off his comments and always be civil.

The word key is taught in primary school and was the only proper word for what you were describing. He sounds like he was embarrassed for not knowing and mocked you to try to cover it up.

Oh god almighty. Is his name Chris by any chance? I work with this tool. Fave subjects: Game of Thrones. Where he's parked his car. How pissed he was on a stag do. Barbecues.

Repeat, repeat, repeat. He knows nothing. Not one thing. Nice lad but ignorant as fuck and yet brimming with self regard so powerful I keep expecting him to self immolate.

Chris is a salesman.