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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Never been abroad or on a plane at age 35!

229 replies

SalemShadow · 10/06/2019 20:55

There was a woman on dinner date yest. She is 35, never been abroad or on on an aeroplane. She was telling her date he will have to take her on a holiday. Aibu to be completely shocked? I couldn't believe it. Seems a sheltered existence

OP posts:
Kennehora · 12/06/2019 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OlivesLemons · 12/06/2019 17:15

I agree @Kennehora that's the point I'm making too.

going abroad for the sake of spending a week in some hotel and come back is pretty pointless too.

Riiight. Not sure of the point here? Spending a week sleeping in 'some hotel' and in the daytimes getting out and about and seeing as much of a new country as possible? Sounds great!

It would take anyone more than a few years to explore the UK properly. Have you done it? If not, how can you not even know the country where you live in?

Of course I have. Who said travelling abroad and in the UK were mutually exclusive? You can do both you know. Even worse than limiting one's life experience to one's own country would be limiting it to one's own city or town! Hmm

MorondelaFrontera · 12/06/2019 17:31

OlivesLemons
my point is that some idiots pretend they have been "abroad" because they flew to identical resorts in a couple of countries and it makes them well-travelled.

And then they judge people who haven't.

Who said travelling abroad and in the UK were mutually exclusive?
No one said that. But as most of us have to have a full-time job, with the best will in the world it's not really possible to do both on the limited time off we have.
Which is why my solution was to work in different countries. I don't judge people who have other preferences.

I just find the judgemental posters on here amusing, they haven't come up with any valid reason to feel superior.

JoyceDivision · 12/06/2019 18:25

Olives, hope you haven't interpreted my "meh" as all abroad, as I didn',t say that.

Finding beautiful areas in the British Isles leaves me very happy. I have no desire to go further afield.

I am an open minded person, honest. But loving the adaptions not desiring overseas travel means you're not open minded.... A rather open minded attitude Grin

ALongHardWinter · 12/06/2019 18:37

My son-in-law is 49 and has never flown or been abroad.

ForalltheSaints · 12/06/2019 18:52

It may be a minority but there is nothing wrong with this. As long as they have been able to afford holidays and have a break each year. There is much to enjoy in the UK.

TheGoogleMum · 12/06/2019 19:00

I think it's a little odd to want to go abroad but not get round to it by age 35. I also think not wanting to go abroad is a little strange.... but to each their own I guess. Even if you mostly stay at the hotel it's nice to get a bit of proper sunshine!

Lifecraft · 12/06/2019 20:49

I've never been abroad simply because I have no desire whatsoever to go to another country.

Why? I can understand not having the money/scared of flying or whatever, but just not wanting to go?

What would you think if someone had never been upstairs in their house. Not because they can't get up the stairs, but because when they moved in, they liked the downstairs so didn't see the point?

To me, it's just as odd.

origamiunicorn · 12/06/2019 23:47

* I've never been abroad simply because I have no desire whatsoever to go to another country.*

Confused
LaMarschallin · 13/06/2019 06:23

"At the age of thirty--fiveish, she realised she'd never fly to Paris on an EasyJet with a stag do across the aisle...."

And Lucy Jordan sat up in bed, sweating, and thought, " Thank Christ for that!".

Hardly anyone's ever a tourist or just goes on their holidays anymore. Mostly they "travel" and learn about local culture.
A few honest people have mentioned the niceness of hotels (some hotels, and there are nice ones in the UK) and liking nice weather. Which is fine if you want the sun. I can take it or leave it.

I have "travelled". Much more often, I've gone on holiday, usually abroad. It's never occurred to me to be surprised if others choose not to and wish to stay in the UK.

I'm not sure if the lady mentioned in the OP hadn't been abroad because:
A) she wanted to, but couldn't due to lack of money/commitments at home (eg caring)/something else. Which is sad and shouldn't be greeted with slack-jawed "shock"
or
B) wasn't bothered, but when greeted by cries of, "What?! Never?!! OMG!" by others, felt embarrassed and made a jokey comment like, "You'll have to take me then".

LaMarschallin · 13/06/2019 06:26

Mostly they "travel" and learn about local culture.

Just a thought. If they haven't yet learned about the "local culture" that exists around them, to the point where they can't understand why some of their own countrypeople don't want exactly what they want, a couple of weeks on a package probably won't increase their empathy.

Danceswithlightning · 13/06/2019 06:28

I first went on a plane at 19 and that was to Scotland. Other than that I have been to Spain once and France with the school but that was on a ferry. My dad had never been abroad and he died at 45 so it's not unheard of.

I would like to take my children on a plane one day but at the moment sun holidays are about my financial limit. Plus none of us have passports so that's expensive in itself.

Downunderduchess · 13/06/2019 06:34

@MysweetAudrina that's lovely!

GrumpyOldMare · 13/06/2019 06:44

I'm 55 soon and also never been abroad or on a plane.

No plans to change it,either.

Sebeya · 13/06/2019 07:58

In my experience, those that don't travel for reasons other than financial or practical reasons (i.e. those who aren't interested in travelling abroad) come from a position of fear. They won't like the food, the airport is daunting, the language is different. I empathise with that as we all have things we are scared of, but I do find it a little sad.

Aethelthryth · 13/06/2019 08:17

There are plenty of good financial and practical reasons why some people don't go abroad; but I find it extraordinary that some people lack the curiosity to see places outside their day to day experience. These places may be "abroad" or in the UK. It's a closed mind which must diminish one's life experience

FionasWineShow · 13/06/2019 09:03

I suppose it really depends on your 'normal'.

This is so outside my realm of normal, that I don't actually know of a single soul (children included) who hasn't been on a plane, let alone travelled / holidayed in another country.

Getting to 35 and not doing it is quite the, ah, 'achievement'.

AtmosClock · 13/06/2019 09:52

I wanted to tell about my DB and DSIL. Nearly 20 years ago I went to study on an Erasmus year in France. I was 21, my DB 23. We hadn’t been abroad as children (except for one week each on the French exchange). My parents were quite keen that my DB visit as it might be an experience. My DB and SIL came out by Eurostar and hated it. They were scared to speak French and spent the week eating in McDonald’s where they could understand roughly what they were ordering. That was the last time they dared travel abroad. Since then, I’ve been fortunate enough through work and holidays to travel to all the continents (except Antarctica). I remember I was about to travel for work to the US and i had arranged to spend a few days travelling after my meeting. My DB said that he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to visit America. That said, I empathise with him

Rhinorescue · 13/06/2019 09:57

Fionaswineshow how patronising

NoBaggyPants · 13/06/2019 10:06

@FionasWineShow Your world is as narrow as someone who doesn't want to travel abroad. It's just a different narrow. Your 'achievement' is surrounding yourself with people only like yourself, which to most would be rather dull.

Kennehora · 13/06/2019 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FionasWineShow · 13/06/2019 10:42

In all honesty, I'd much rather my 'narrow'.

Rhinorescue · 13/06/2019 10:47

Fiona you sound so sneering and patronising and I say that as someone who has travelled extensively but funnily enough can comprehend that some people may not want to.

U2HasTheEdge · 13/06/2019 10:52

I am 38 and have never been abroad or on a plane.

Why? I had children young, it costs a lot as a big family to take them abroad. Plus with having to put the dogs in kennels I just can't afford it. My parents couldn't afford it when we were growing up.

I still have plenty of time to travel.

MorondelaFrontera · 13/06/2019 12:46

This is so outside my realm of normal, that I don't actually know of a single soul (children included) who hasn't been on a plane, let alone travelled / holidayed in another country.

If you are one of these people who think they are "well travelled" because they took a couple of holiday in the fashionable Brit resort, "done a country" because you spent 10 days in it, you are not as clever as you think you are...and your judgement of other people is completely uncalled for Smile